Life Insurance: A contract that keeps you poor all your life so that you can die rich.
Nurse: A person who wakes you up to give you sleeping pills.
Marriage: An agreement in which a man loses his bachelor degree and a woman gains her masters.
Tears: The hydraulic force by which masculine willpower is defeated by feminine water power.
Lecture: An art of transferring information from the notes of the Lecturer to the notes of the students without passing through the minds of either
Conference: The confusion of one man multiplied by the number present.
Compromise: The art of dividing a cake in such a way that everybody believes he got the biggest piece.
Dictionary: A place where success comes before work.
Conference Room: A place where everybody talks, nobody listens and everybody disagrees later on.
Father: A banker provided by nature.
Boss: Someone who is early when you are late and late when you are early.
Politician: One who shakes your hand before elections and your confidence after.
Doctor: A person who kills your ills by pills.
Classic: Books, which people praise, but do not read.
Smile: A curve that can set a lot of things straight.
Office: A place where you can relax after your strenuous home life.
Yawn: The only time some married men ever get to open their mouth.
Etc: A sign to make others believe that you know more than you actually do.
Committee: Individuals who can do nothing individually and sit to decide that nothing can be done together.
Experience: The name men give to their mistakes.

**Successfully borrowed for life from our good freinds at Last of the Few

You just have to love those Normans. One of the first immigrant peoples to England, they brought a number of important cultural innovations to that island kingdom. While William’s memory is not too popular in, say York (which he devastated), he is rather important. And for those that study history, his times make a rather good read. But you, happy worker, you have to go to work to pay for all those tax spenders out there. So catch the drift, drink your Victory Coffee, and rush off to work.

It’s obvious that the young lad needs to attend a series of sensitivity training courses at his local indoctrination center (public school). When The Mayor hears and sees nasty words like what you see above, a small trickle - some w0uld call a tear - gently dribbles down his most masculine cheeks.

It’s a pity the Chevy couldn’t dodge the ram.

Did you see what I did there? That was amazing. I should be given an award for that. Perhpas The Order of Canada? I’ll let history be the final judge.

Latest by marc in calgary: dunno, would you accept L´Ordre du Canadá from a group that also awarded to Alan Eagleson? ... MORE

My Lord, it’s like the original five knuckle chuckle. But I aint laughin’! The last time I saw that much meat I was at a Loblaw’s deli. Those are pretty tight outfits the boys are wearing, especially considering it’s the Polish Dart Team. Oh right, it’s the POLISH Dart Team. For a second, I thought it was the Polish Hide The Sausage Team.

Anyway, vomit, repeat.

Latest by Sandi Stahmer: How often do you write your blogs? I enjoy them a lot 8 8 9 MORE

NY Times - Contrarian Investor Sees Economic Crash in China

Yahoo Finance - U.S. Sales Tax Rates Hit Record High

Bloomberg - The U.S. Senate approved a $138 billion measure that would extend unemployment benefits and provide additional aid to states in lawmakers’ second major effort this year to boost the economy.

The Economic Collapse - How do you save a city that is dramatically declining like Detroit?  Well, for the mayor of Detroit the answer is simple - you bulldoze one-fourth of the city. 

Before It’s News - Pelosi We Have To Pass HC Bill To Find Out What’s In It

Bloomberg - Unemployment decreased in nine U.S. states in January, led by an improvement in Michigan that demonstrates factories are driving the economic rebound (THAT’S proof?)

Zero Hedge - ABC Consumer Comfort Index Refuses To Budge, Near 2010 Lows

National Jewel Network - The Diamond Bourse of Canada, a first for the country, will be fully operational by the end of the month in Toronto, bourse officials announced earlier this week. Since the official opening of the country’s first diamond exchange in January, its management and staff have been working hard to put the finishing touches on the bourse’s location in downtown Toronto.

Woodpile Report - Ol Remus’ weekly report.

SHTF Plan - Food Security Threat: Goverment Set to Ban Public Fishing, Individual Food Production

Latest by poletax: It's great to see a pic of The First Lady Of West Virginia and her kids. My Govenor will be proud. ... MORE

This is an old family recipe that I’m sure you will enjoy.

Ingredients

* 1 tbsp sunflower or groundnut oil
* ½ a fresh red chili, deseeded and finely chopped or a pinch of dried chili flakes
* 1-2cm piece of ginger, peeled and very finely chopped or grated
* ½ garlic clove, very finely chopped or grated
* 100g (2 heaped tbsp) crunchy peanut butter
* 1 tbsp soy sauce
* 1-2 limes
* 2 tsp brown sugar
* Salt
* 16 slugs, prepared and cooked
* A small bunch of fresh coriander, leaves roughly chopped

Method: How to make slug satay

1. First, prepare and cook the slugs.

2. Heat the oil in a small pan over a medium-low heat. Add the chili, ginger and garlic and fry gently for a few minutes, until soft. Turn the heat down low, add the peanut butter and stir to loosen it. Add the soy sauce, the juice of 1 lime and the sugar. Stir, then add a little water to achieve a thick sauce consistency. Adjust the seasoning with salt and more lime juice if necessary.

3. Put 4 cooked slugs on each of 4 small skewers. Trickle the hot sauce over them, then sprinkle with chopped coriander and serve.

**There is a slight chance that DMorris might take credit for this recipe, and if he kicks up a fuss just pretend that ya, it’s ALL his.

Latest by Natasha: dmorris -- Actually, I have eaten moose meat (not to be confused with "moose knuckle"). MORE

Now I know why Sean Penn hates the media so much–and not just the photographers!

Apparently they have been taking digs at his favourite DEMOCRATICALLY ELECTED world leader, Hugo Chavez Frias, and he thinks that the irresponsible media types referring to him as a “dictator” should be arrested:

“Every day, this elected leader is called a dictator here, and we just accept it, and accept it. And this is mainstream media, who should — truly, there should be a bar by which one goes to prison for these kinds of lies.”

Nothing says democratic values like rounding up the media and arresting them. I think even Hugo flinched at that one. Penn also says that Chavez helped him out in rounding up narcotics. Hey Sean, next time, ask your son!

Read the rest of this entry »

Latest by Rocky: I don't even have kids! Figure that out. MORE

Nancy nailed it. She went fence. Nancy is today’s internet hero. The rest of you can only look at her in amazement. Jealousy is a terrible beast.

Latest by Andy: Jason? Sigh... Whatever happened to the good ol' days? Faron Young, Merle, The Possum, Buck, Freddy Hart, and Porter? Grandpa ... MORE

I don’t think anyone has ever accused Sarah Michelle Gellar of being a hottie. Maybe a cutie, but never a hottie. And I think the main reason she has never been elevated into the hottie category is for one simple reason: she sharpens her toenails into arrow points and during the night hangs upside down from large and mighty oak trees.

Maybe she does that because of her years on Buffy the Vampire Slayer, or maybe she just has lousy hygiene skills. I’ll take door #2, Bob!

A hottie has a special look about them, a way they carry themselves. Sarah Michelle Gellar has no special look, and she carries herself no better than a pack mule carries The Mayor personal belongings up treacherous mountainsides. I’m not saying Sarah Michelle Gellar is a pack mule, but I am saying The Mayor does enjoy hiking. I’m glad I could clear up any misunderstandings.

Perhaps you think Sarah Michelle Gellar is a hottie and that The Mayor must have rolled out of bed this morning, went immediately to the liquor cabinet and poured himself a four finger shot of top-shelf fry. Well, you’re half right. and not about the SMG part. But, as The Mayor always says, beauty is subjective, and you’re blind as a bat.

Latest by Flea: Alyson Hannigan is an hottie. MORE

It makes me smile to know that fringe leftist wisdom has so deeply slithered into the elites that rule the West. Think about this as you prepare their food, draw their bath water, or just pay for them to play at activist. It takes four taxpayers to carry one taxspender. If one taxspender goes away, that leaves four of you with nothing to do. Life would be empty without the fifty-percent tax burden of white privilege.

Latest by JDN: Cancel the call to Dr. Doolittle. The cow can talk ... and she speaks english! MORE

I miss real social activists like Stalin. Everybody loved Stalin. And do you think the automobile industry would be in trouble under Stalin? No, I do not think so. And American imperialism was kept in check. I miss Stalin. One of the few white dictators who can carry off wearing a white suit. Those Trotskyites … what have they done for you lately?

Latest by Lavern Theiss: Did you create your own blog or did a program do it? Could you please respond? 25 MORE