Feb
8

VD Week


valentine-card

When all is said and done, that’s a pretty wonderful sentiment. Sure, it might not be as sweet as “I killed a Nazi with a ski-pole for your love”, but none-the-less it’s something special. Hallmark, you’ve outdone yourself this time.

Welcome to VD Week.

**I should mention that VD stands for Valentine’s Day, not to be confused with the communicable disease. That’s for another week.

Latest by Sisyphus: Brought a tear to my eye, Mayor. MORE

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Feb
8

Green Shoots & Leaves


fallen-tree

Zero Hedge - Charting The Worst And Soon To Be Shortest Economic “Recovery” Ever

Market Watch - Planned layoffs rise for first time since July

Guardian - A record 38.2 million Americans were enrolled in the food stamp program at latest count, up 246,000 from the previous month and the latest in record-high monthly tallies that began in December 2008 (green shoots).

Survival Blog - Some Real World Battery Life Data

SHTF Plan - IRS Acquiring Sixty New Combat Shotguns (welcome to extreme tax collection).

Market Watch - 20 reasons Global Debt Time Bomb explodes soon

Global Security - Why immigration undermines security

Politics Daily - What every American should know about the national debt

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Feb
8

I Completely Agree With This


tlc-slogan

This is actually quite true. I never thought about it before, but now that I’ve seen the graphic, it’s something I can’t disagree with. It reminds me of the road sign I saw the other day that said, “The Mayor of Mitchieville has one hell of a tight ass”. It’s so very true, there’s no denying it. My point is, I never thought about my ass being so tight before, but then when I saw the road sign, the 48′ x 128′  road sign prominently displayed on the 401 - Canada’s busiest highway - I thought about it and came to the conclusion that the road sign is a beacon of truth. Perhaps the last beacon of truth we have on earth. Well, that and the NY Times.

Am I a little embarrassed that someone would go through all the trouble to erect a 48 x 128′ road sign declaring that I have one hell of a tight ass? No. Not at all. Why should the truth embarrass me?

And just so you don’t email me asking the question every last guy has on his lips, I’ll tell you: By eating smelly cheeses and doing many deep knee bends every morning before I vomit blood in the toilet.

Latest by Andy: Amen, Mayor! I posted a photo on a post called "Midget Wrestling" once...I think it was when ObozO and ... MORE

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super-secret-sea-to-sky

Mighty Poseidon ravages our lands with his fury, decimating the snow and wreaking havoc with the climate. Aided by his upstart child with the Latin temper, El Neeeeen-yo, he has kept the temperature balmy. Our streets ache and crumble, parched from a lack of snow. The citizenry are frantically eating the drywall and drinking the gasoline from their own cars, desperate to stave off the embrace of death one more day.

The situation is so dire that the streets are now flooded with polar bears. Despite the insistence of Greenpeace, polar bears actually like warmth. Noted dignitary Al Gore had come to visit the city, thrilled with the new wave of these noble creatures. In a momentary lapse in judgment, Mr. Gore ran out into the streets to commune with these noble beasts.

I am sorry to announce that Al Gore was eaten by polar bears. It took six of them to drag off his carcass, leaving behind a putrid stench of entrails that could only be properly cleaned using recycleable materials–mostly pages from Earth In The Balance.

We would have used anti-Olympic pamphlets, but apparently those are illegal. After chasing down a story about the fellow who was denied entry into Vancouver and I came across a ditty about the Games. In it they talk about the by-law that prevents negative signs and campaigns against the Olympics. That’s can’t be true–this is peace-loving Vancouver! We have signs advertising that we have no nuclear weapons, and no one complains about those. Up on the City of Vancouver website, here’s what they say in the FAQs:

The December 2009 by-law, passed by City Council and amended from an earlier July 2009 version, is emphasized to show that they are merely clamping down on commercial advertising. Here are the stipulations for allowing any kind of signage to be put up:

Celebratory Signage
The new by-law provisions allow celebratory signage to be installed around the City leading up to and during the 2010 Winter Games provided:

* The signage is non-commercial in nature.
* The signage is celebratory in nature (for the 2010 Winter Games).
* A City permit has been acquired for the signage.

So Joe’s Fix-It Shop cannot post “Boo to 2010″ even if he doesn’t make the sign commercial and somehow manages to get a permit for it, just because it’s negative. The by-law then was changed to allow trademarks “to allow trademarks and other symbols of Olympic sponsors on celebratory signs.” Pamphlets and flyers were also included under commercial activity, likely because any anti-Olympic organization would either be incorporated, or the act of spending money alone to print the flyers would constitute “commercial activity.”

Now, the prospect of about a million Tide samples during the Olympics clogging the waste bins is purely logistics, but these rules are never enforced in the same manner at any other time. We even get free Vancouver Sun papers now and then–which seem to have nothing but glowing editorials for the Olympics anyway, so they will be covered as celebratory. Whether they fall under the “pamphlet” category is debatable–but just not among the public at large.

There are certainly concerns about security and civil order that would need to be addressed while the Olympics are in town, but the smaller details are also being lost in terms of our liberty. If an event has the capacity to close the entire 99 Highway to the public during peak hours (the only path getting to Whistler out of Vancouver) as well as nine other major routes in and out of the city, and establish their own “free speech zones”, there’s no reason that City Council couldn’t pass something more insidious in the future. They even wanted to shut down the city altogether at one point except to Olympic vendors.

Apparently dreams can go well beyond a gold medal. Sometimes they just involve dry runs for what governments can do the people, all at the request of the IOC.

Latest by dmorris: Yeah, the Chinese have nothing on VANOC! MORE

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Feb
8

Toyota Recall


toyota-recall

It’s funny because it denigrates Toyota. That’s why it’s funny, right? This shifting of Total Recall to Toyota Recall is funny because it slams Toyota, or something. Right? I get it. It’s very funny. I think it might be a play on words. Or an onomatopoeia. Or irony. Truth is, I’m not sure what any of those things are. But slamming Toyota is funny because they’re a successful foreign company. Unlike GM and Chrysler. That’s funny.

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Feb
8

Who Dat?


who_dat

There were so many people that correctly identified Sean Connery as the mystery person du jeur last week, that if I was to list all the correct identifiers, I would be typing out names for the next six hours. You have to admit, that is a lot of names. I know I’m a slow typer, but still, that’s a hell of a lot of names.

This week’s mystery a-hole (and I’m not even sure if he’s an a-hole, but I really like slandering people), is wearing a watch and smoking a smoke. Those are the only two hints you’re going to get this week, but I’m sure 93.4% of youz guys have already figured it out (Youz guys - haha, that’s priceless).

I know there are probably more than a few of youz (again, priceless) that think The Mayor’s hints are less than hints. And while I respect your opinion, I firmly believe my hints are pretty great hints. Sure, my hints don’t give the character away because they are unrelated to him in any shape or form. And sure, in context they make little to no sense whatsoever, but, hey - did you watch the Super Bowl last night? The Aints really kicked the Dolts in the balls, eh? And what score did The Mayor predict? Oh right, Aint’s 31 Dolts 24.

Pretty darn tootin’ close.

In other news, The Mayor totally took your attention away from the hints I laid out earlier. Youz guys are easily distracted (youz - haha - it never gets old).

Latest by dmorris: Yeah,Dennis Hopper. This one was too easy. MORE

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All that treasure, tax money, wealth, spend on the darlings of the left, those who are unemployable, illiterate, and life time leftist voters, who provide lifetime security for those who teach them employment skills, literacy skills, and how to make an X beside the hammer and sickle. Yes, here they are. The lefties work among these people in fortress welfare offices, fortress housing offices, and fortress health care clinics. And soon, your tax dollars will buy bigger and better fortresses, and you better pay up quick or they will move closer to your non-fortress home. Drink your victory coffee, happy worker, and get to work. And do not wake up the taxspenders, and do not trouble the taxspender enablers with your shuffling as you shuffle off to work to work for those that never have, and never will, work.

Latest by Sisyphus: "This song lacks the subtlety of Lady Gaga." LOL. Her middle name is subtlety. MORE

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Feb
8

Victory Coffee 10/02/08


So what will your day be like today, happy worker? Will you have a happy day like the calvary troopers of Dovotor’s Second Calvary Corps? You should be so lucky to go fight the Fascist Army. What fun! But to do this, we need more socialism. And socialism needs your taxes. So go to work. Get out of your warm bed so that others can stay in theirs. And they get a safe place to inject the good dope you don’t get to do, but pay for. Spare change?

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Expect more terrible storms as the Thunder God, Jupiter makes things happen his way, and makes it snappy with a few well timed bolts of lightning.  Jupiter, a ruling planet in the sign of Pisces, seems to have a bit of grudge on for those that mess with the free markets and property rights.  Jupiter rules good faith in contracts, which the ancients called ‘oaths’.  Jupiter does not like oath breakers, apparently.  Allied, right now, with the Plutonic forces of the underworld, Jupiter is being drawn into a war of attrition between Pluto and Saturn.  Saturn sits exalted in Libra, and so is untouchable to Jupiter’s current rule of the heavens.  So, we have conflict.  A background conjunction of Venus and Uranus in Pisces adds some color: expect some sudden revelations of a pleasant kind relating to scientific breakthroughs.

Read the rest of this entry »

Latest by Clickbank eBooks: Do you plan to keep this site updated? I sure hope so... its great! MORE

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Feb
7

The Super Bowl Is Gay


Posting this video has become tradition in Mitchieville. I like watching it once a year, at Super Bowl time, of course. Watching it more than that is just plain gay.

Latest by The Mayor: I'd like to get a dozen or so internet memes together in one room to see if they could produce ... MORE

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Feb
7

High Five Guys At Superbowl


You were looking for a little stupid funny today, right? Man, have you ever come to the right place.

Latest by marc in calgary: When you refer to Peyton Manning, the winning Q/B in today's Super Bowl! ... are you referring ... MORE

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Feb
7

The Great Retreat


Now America begins to dismantle its Empire, just what the groovy hippies wanted. A desire straight from the golden peaches of Jane Fonda’s rack, and dating back to the same time when Barbarella was the defining intellectual moment of hippy Fonda’s life, those of us who consider the N-word to be a bad word, even when N-people use it, are looking over writings and history on the retreat of empire.

When I was in university, foolishly not taking courses towards being an over paid, over pensioned, low-effort, and little results orientated socialist social services sector worker, I took some courses in American history. My prof, a hippy draft dodger from the Vietnam war, whose grim forever exile from the land of his birth (being a wanted man, a deserter, and a Ph.D) was only punctuated by vacations back to his Momma’s house for Thanksgiving, Christmas, weddings, and his special birthday; this guy told us about american politics. And he taught me about isolationism.

Now, Pat Buchanan has a great piece out about doing exactly such a thing * . And, for the benefit of any Jackals or Human Rights non-ability people mouthing the words as they read this, I, of course, distance myself from any opinions expressed by any sort of white person, as all white people are racists, rapists, and enablers of the lingering effects of colonialism in Africa. That being said, and my ass being covered, I draw your attention to the words of Pat.

Two things I add to this article.

Firstly, Pat is running on the assumption that a retreat from the imperial frontiers is a clean process. He describes the retreat from the East as a crisp exit of now unwanted soldiery from countries now adult and capable of self-defense, both with men and economy. I am not going to go anywhere near the seamy subjects of foreign, non-white people holding vengeful thoughts, territorial ambitions, or non-socialist views of economy. Only white people are bad, so any discussion about, say, Japanese ambitions in Taiwan or Korea or Manchuria, are best kept to the secure confines of your secret society, where no activist can inform on you for profit and promotion. Likewise speculation about Chinese designs on, say, African acreage, Siberia, or the rice of their ancient colony of Viet Nam. Speculation absent from the main stream media, of course. Speculation absent from the mind of the mindless non-ability lock-step and goosestep of diversity, uttered by those mis pronouncers of words who mean to spend my money on the workless, the shiftless, and the life-time liberal voter. Well, the thoughts are out there. I wish Pat, already damned as a white man, could damn himself a little more and dirty up his policy with these considerations.

Secondly, Pat is assuming that the retreat process will be voluntary. And it was a voluntary process, up to now. But now with an aggressive borrowing frenzy on the part of Employment Equity president Obama, the time is coming when foreign powers will be able to use their economic clout to dictate to the Yanks what to do. It maybe the Marines being pulled out of Japan, but they might be leaving their weapons behind. The Marines can come home in t-shirt and sandals … and Pat did not discuss that. I wish he had. Maybe all this American style democracy out there is a manifestation of American style tank divisions. Does the Prussian heart still beat in the Prussian breast? Is the tribe that produced Louis Faidherbe * still capable of producing same?

Who knows? And if you ask one of our perfumed activists, they neither know nor care. They think retreats are clean and voluntary. Maybe they are right, because speculation about them being left is not allowed. One nice thing about dirty and forced retreats, which you can read about in history, is the lynching of leaders whose lack of luck or ability lead to dirty and forced retreats. That too is absent from Pat’s article. One of the advantages of a lack of freedom of speech, I guess. You get to watch history repeat itself, rather than just read about it. Does the Tea Party movement have a tricolor to wave at the tumbrels rolling by?

xpd Mitchieville, Dustmybroom

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