Dec
1

Grabbed By The Poosay


I was feeling good, really great,
On that Tuesday, November 8.
I was in my happy place,
Also known as my safe space.

I had cast my vote, “I’m With Her!”
She’s going to win, that much is sure.
I turned on the tube, to CNN,
A SJW’s bestest best friend.

There was Dana Bash and Anderson Cooper,
They said Trump will take it up the pooper.
And if anyone knows how to take it up the pooper,
It’s Dana Bash and Anderson Cooper.

The results came in and as expected.
It looked like The Hill would be elected.
I had a grin from ear to ear,
That’s exactly what I wanted to hear.

But then all of a sudden things started to change,
I started to scratch like I had mange.
The TV told me that Trump was starting to win,
So much for my shit-eating grin.

This isn’t right, it cannot be!
Wisconsin for Trump? Double fuck me!
Michigan, Penn, and Florida too?
A fascist nightmare I’m being put through.

In the end when all was said and done,
An homophoberacistislamophobe had won.
I threw myself down and started to cry,
Because that’s what you do when you’re a shitlib manlet guy.

Oh Soro’s, Van Jones, Oh Burnett and Wolf Blitzer,
It looks like my panties are tied in a twister.
I’l scream and I’ll sob and I’ll wail and I’ll riot,
What I should really do is go on a cultural Marxist diet.

I can’t accept the fact that we lost,
And that Donald J Trump is now our new boss.
I’ll live every moment like it’s my last day,
I can feel the tight grip on my broken poosay.

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Sep
29

The Bedbug Initiative


Mitchieville is a caring place.

One of the great scourges of our time (and, conveniently, one we can talk about without raising the ire of our progressive masters) is that of the epidemic of bedbugs. The little blood suckers have come back from the past and have re-estabished themselves in Western society. Now some cultures do not view sharing their beds with insects as ‘bad’, like white racist rapist cultures do. So funding to combat these pests has been non-existent (like racism before the victims of racism showed up in this racist shithole of a country to complain about inadequate handouts), but now, hurrah!, now that the little bloodsuckers have spread into the residential neighborhoods of social workers, something is starting to be done. Using third world accounting methods, the Supreme Central Library of Mitchieville, in partnership with Tiny Tot Toys and Munitions, is pleased to reveal that we have been dipping into a diversity of funding streams, for the aim of finding solutions, creating dialogue, and listening to voices. Yup.
Read the rest of this entry »

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Aug
20


The weekly horoscope has moved to The Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence.

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Mar
5


There is no way the translation for this is accurate. Europeans are all politically correct and filled with love for refugees. Obviously this is propaganda.

I burst into tears. The poor refugees!

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Mar
4

Yeah, sure, my racist, rapist, oozing white privilege wanna be plantation owner (with slaves) co-workers were having a white privilege sausage squeeze-fest over some articles in the corporate media about some ‘baby fight club’ article. One of my sadist co-workers was at the point of tears during the discussion about the case. I wanted to strangle her for her white privilege, the honky bitch. Obviously, this story is just some sort of cover to protect Donald Trump from the critical eye of the progressive media. And, and I mean and, let us face it, ‘baby fight club’ is a racist weasel phrase designed to appropriate foreign cultural practice and vilify them.

Other cultures celebrate conflict between children, and, unlike the dominant racist patriarchy which oppresses us all here, encourages it. I nearly vomited listening to all the white privilege. Racist scum. After lunch, I denounced them all to human resources, using the confidential snitch line. How dare they impose their hate filled culture of institutional racism!

When I got home, I went down to the basement where I keep a few undocumented-Canadians in culturally appropriate housing. Inspired, I (using google translate) suggested that the occupant of cell A fight the occupant of cell B. The winner would get the food ration for both, and the loser would be burnt alive, in keeping with their cultural practices and traditions. A blessing actually, as the person being burnt alive gets an express ticket to the pleasures of the afterlife in the Welfare State shopping mall in the sky. I drank some beer while A and B brawled in the basement rec room where my pool table used to be. Then, the bar-b-que outside in the snow. The lucky victor had a double helping of creme of turnip soup, and four brussel sprouts (what a roughage plus feast!). I could only think of their delight for tomorrow when they get all you can eat pork roast, cut fresh and steamy off the tibia.

Still, the atmosphere of hate that lingers at work oppresses me. These co-workers of mine, they need to suffer.

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Feb
29

Mitchieville goes to the Oscars


In keeping with our steadfast progressive principles, the leadership cadre at Mitchieville is boycotting Hollywood movies until every disgruntled lesbian, darkie, and whatever is no longer complaining about handouts, inadequate medication, or just too many bedbugs in the free housing. None of our money will find its way to the racist rapists of Hollywood. Instead, we will watch stuff for free by buying cheap copies in flea markets or downloading from torrents. Movies must be appealing to our demographic, and celebrate our diversity. Otherwise, our money stays home. Take that, racist rapist Hollywood.

In this spirit, I have here a prophetic documentary dealing with some Ukrainians from Edmonton rising up against some fops who want to steal their oil and tax them to death. Note how the bad guys in this film have a red and white flag, kinda similar to that flag of hate which is the Canadian flag.

Take that, you earth rapists.

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Feb
28

Horoscope for the week


Your week begins with a double dose of alchemical water. This particular blend favors new projects and the completion of old ones. The transitions might be emotionally traumatic. But there are lessons to be learnt. And if you know your Nietzsche, you will know that if you pass through the fire, you will have been forged into a better, stronger alloy. But that is just for everyone. What about your personal astrological forecast? Read the rest of this entry »

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The only thing separating me and my Moreau are my Calvin’s.

Upon first glance, The Mayor thought this was an advertisement for the Gay Pride parade in Toronto this summer where all the great Canadian leaders will be assembled, but alas, it is not. Perhaps it is a picture of Trudeau and Moreau sharing a Lifesaver, while the old guy in the background looks on approvingly. Speaking of the old guy and his approving gaze, have a boo at the next picture:

It seems he approves of man et woman as well. Good on ya, old guy!

And don’t you dare move a muscle, keep your facial expression the same for the next 900 intimate pictures.

Speaking of the gay pride parade:

Trudeau is expected to march in the parade on July 3.

The word *march* in this context seems a little heavy, it’s kind of microaggressive and makes The Mayor wish for a safe space. Couldn’t they use the word *prance* instead?

When The Mayor said earlier on in this post that all the great Canadian leaders are attending, he wasn’t fibbing!

Along with Trudeau, Finance Minister Bill Morneau, Ontario Premier Kathleen Wynne and Toronto Mayor John Tory are also slated to take part in the festivities.

And now with extreee special guests this year:

Organizers also have said gay Syrian refugees will have a place at the Pride events.

If that doesn’t make Islamic extremists love us even more, then nothing will.

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Feb
23

Victory Coffee


How about this for your home project this month … what a great way to encourage women, minorities, and trans people to go into science, technology, engineering, and mathematics than to make this at home!

For those of you who asked: Black History Month at Mitchieville is being held in a safe space for N-people.

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Feb
22

Victory Coffee


For those of you who are impatient for the endgame of our progressive betters, time to get a leg up and get your women folk ready for what life will be like in ten years time.

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Feb
22

Horoscope for the week


The sun enters Pisces this week, so new secrets are concealed, old secrets are revealed, and dreams take on a prophetic meaning. Practical concerns overshadow the spiritual, to the extent that one may raise up false idols. There may also be distractions from revelation. But that is just for everyone. What about your personal astrological forecast? Read the rest of this entry »

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Feb
19

Jeb Bush – Representing the 1%


If $100 million got him 1%, imagine what 50 billion would do for his campaign?

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