Feb
8

Horoscope for the week


When am I going to get paid? Where is my money? I want my money.

Yes, we have all had this problem. Remember the time you lent twenty bucks to your drunken friend at the Superbowl … years ago, now. And the miserable cactus has not paid you back. Hundred dollar emergency loans to decrepit relatives and fawning in-laws. Or the boss or business partner. Or the bank. Did they lie to you? Take advantage of your spiritual, caring nature? So many questions. The self doubt begins to ooze out of your eyes and armpits like black snot.

Astrology, the science of predicting the future, older and better than the snake oil mumbo jumbo and endless pills of the white coated wallet rapists of the public health care system, has the answers. Be at rest. Send me your money. Solutions will come after. Why wait? Your friends are consulting astrologers about stuff.

You want answers. I want your money. Go suffer without your horoscope for a while. Go to your room, no dinner. Brat. Send me your money.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.

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Feb
8

Victory Coffee


Performance art that packs a message. Here, consciousness is raised to the oppression of women by housework, but in a setting that is sensitive to our Muslim refugees’ culture. You cannot see any skin here, but you can experience the oppression.

Watch this a few times and meditate upon the message.

Get to work!

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The year was 1982, The Mayor was just a teenager. His hair was feathered back and he was grooving to the sounds of Nina Hagen. The Mayor was a punk. And an asshole.

He bought his first leather jacket that same year. He bought it from Danier leather. For $300. That was the last leather jacket he ever bought. Not because it is still around, shit no. That jacket disintegrated years ago.

That was the last leather jacket The Mayor ever bought, because 1983 was officially the last year anyone would be seen dead wearing a leather jacket.

Which brings us to the shit show called Danier Leather:

After struggling for years to revive its flagging fortunes, Danier Leather Inc. will liquidate its stores if no buyer steps forward with a rescue plan.
The firm announced Thursday it has started insolvency proceedings under the Bankruptcy and Insolvency Act. For now, the stores remain open and all creditor claims are on hold pending the outcome of the proceedings.

And the reason(s) behind the demise of this semi-successful Canadian company?

“This is a company that has struggled to offer the right product at the right time, in the right amount, and given the warm weather this holiday season, it significantly affected their business,” said Randy Harris, publisher of Canadian Apparel Insights, a monthly industry newsletter.

Not only that, but Danier Leather was pretty much garbage from about 1990 on.

You see, there was a time long ago, in a galaxy far away, when Danier product was designed and MADE in Canada. Those days passed, and like every other product that was reasonably good, was sent offshore to be made in China. And The Mayor doesn’t think he’s talking out of turn, but if you happen to notice, Chinese goods are sometime’s not the bestest in the world.

Danier then became a shit-show like every other shit-show up and down the block. Row after row of pieces of blood-streaked shit pretending it was actually decent product. Vomit. Spit. Puke. Seizure.

Danier was like the chick you took home from the bar on a Saturday night, thinking she was good looking until you woke up the next day to find out you just had sex with a moldy hacky sack.

Or not. Hey, look over there!

Danier. Tits up.

Designed in Canada, Made in China.

Liquidated in North York.

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Feb
3

In the morning, before school started, all the students would sing California is the perfect place for people. Our hero, Brit, used to be one of those students. He now listens to the students singing as he waits by the side of the road, waiting for a car to pass. Brit is a dancer, there are three of them in the mountain village of Che. To show how happy they are, the mountain village of Che (which has a breathtaking view of the valley) have their village dancers do tribal dancing. Brit was chosen by the school shaman at an early age to be a dancer; Brit was also identified as trans-gendered (at age five, again by the school shaman) and was put in the education and health care stream for such people. Lucky Brit! Such is the progressive future in California. And in the future, better place that it is, the gendered pronoun thing did not quite catch on. Brit is still called a He, even if he has state health care double d boobs on his slim frame, still has his penis and testicles, and underfunding and law suits means no hormones, but he does get sex trade worker training.

WARNING! Are you offended? Do not press to continue.

Read the rest of this entry »

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Feb
2

Green Shoots & Leaves


Whenever someone says something to The Mayor, or re-tells negative financial news, or anything that isn’t positive, The Mayor covers his ears and says out loud, “La la la la la la la la la” very, very loud.

It helps. It helps alot.

OPEC’s Serious Decline Forecast For U.S. Shale Is Exaggerated

The Seneca Trap

Negative Interest Rates Already in Fed’s Official Scenario

Whether it’s falling oil prices, trouble in China or geopolitical uncertainty, Wall Street has a long list of worries steering money towards safe havens like gold.
“As we have seen stock markets around the world tumble dramatically, the need to protect capital has increased — and gold has benefited from that,” said Juan Carlos, director of investment research at the World Gold Council.

GoPro is Poster Child for IPO Market Scams

The credit ratings of ten of the largest energy companies just got downgraded by Standard & Poor’s.

The International Maritime Organization said it had received a shipping warning from North Korea of its intention to launch an earth observation satellite between 8 and 25 February.

How The Masses Deal With Risk (And Why They Remain Poor)

Relatively immune until now, Montana is being positioned for a flood of “refugees” over the next 18 months, as the IRC is urged to open offices in heavily populated Missoula, Montana

Retail Apocalypse: 2016 Brings Empty Shelves And Store Closings All Across America

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Feb
1

Victory Coffee


Sadly, the mainstream media (that is the Leugenpresse) is not much covering this story.

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Jan
31

Horoscope for the Week


Aries: Long term strategic planning for the conquest of a distant planet is being performed on your computer by an alien intelligence. You should pay more attention to the games loaded on your devices.

Taurus: Eating too much never was so good than it gets this week, Taurus. Growling will impress your host, and this host is someone you want to impress. Study Polish war movies for dining etiquette.

Gemini: A dark power has planted dragons teeth close to where you walk your dog. Make sure you clean up after your pet. Piddle is ok, but the nascent war spirits do not much like turd. Best to keep on the good side of the war gods.

Cancer: The long dead spirit of one of your heroic ancestors is looking for you. If you hear martial music when no one else can, in places where you really do not expect to hear it, then they are close by. Be assured, they like you.

Leo: You are the one calm one in the room. Someone needs a punch in the throat and who, but you Leo, are the one to administer administrative justice? Not enough people admire you for your shining example.

Virgo: This week will be all battle stations, alarms, and, on Thursday, a close call. Be judicious in your choices of routes to work, and keep your negotiating wits about you when you are approached by an extraterrestrial power looking for mercenaries for a high (very high) tech conflict. Ask for more, and get it.

Libra: Soothing words are needed during a difficult moment at one of those Roman orgies you like to attend. Let the Senator drink the wine first. If you do not know the words to the Peronist march, just pretend you do.

Scorpio: Does your bookkeeping system account for found money? There is just too much money around. You will find it, in large amounts, in all sorts of hilarious places. Do not let these windfalls make you too serious.

Sagittarius: Study the forest laws of King John for some good examples to guide you in your work this week. If members of the clergy are not pleading for mercy on behalf of some one, then you are not doing your job. Do not get soft.

Capricorn: You will win the lottery this week. Listen to German march music for inspiration. You need a steady pace and a good siege mentality to get through this week of obnoxious primate chatter.

Aquarius: You will find one of the lost notebooks of evil this week. If you are brave enough to read it, you will find yourself nostalgic for the simplicity of the Dark Ages. Maybe you should read more history. Maybe live it, too.

Pisces: Your mastery of an ancient art will pay off in gold, silver, and diamonds this week. Make a suitable offering to Thor, Wotan, and Frey to show how reasonable you are. As for those other religions around you, just pretend you care.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.

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Jan
28

Carlos Hathcock – Priviledged


Can someone tell The Mayor again what a hero Caitlyn Jenner is, please?

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Jan
27

Green Shoots & Leaves


Last year the Chinese infrastructure party ended and the shale oil boom went bust. More recently the FANG stocks went from pulling the market up to pushing it down. And today Apple — whose sales would always go up because everyone on Earth wants an iPhone and there were still some people in Africa and the Amazon Basin who don’t yet have one — reported that not only is its revenue no longer growing, but it might shrink in the year ahead.

Emerging market stocks will outperform U.S. equities when another bull market comes, noted bear Marc Faber contended Tuesday. But Faber sees one problem — he believes markets will not enjoy another bull run in his lifetime.

Refugee Murders 22-Year-Old Swedish Woman In Knife Attack

Who Gets to Pay for the Italian Banking Crisis?

FOLLOWING more than a decade of aggressive growth, global coal demand has stalled, the International Energy Agency, IEA, said in its Annual Coal Market Report, released last week.

Brazil is a mess,” Alberto Ramos, the chief Latin America economist at Goldman Sachs, said at an event organized by the Brazilian-American Chamber of Commerce in New York on Wednesday. “Number 10 used to mean Pele. Now it’s inflation rate, unemployment rate and the popularity rate of the president.”

Apple’s Tim Cook sounds incredibly depressed about the global economy

Forex Factory

A Los Angeles County girl who had traveled to El Salvador late last year was infected with the mosquito-borne Zika virus, health officials confirmed. Elsewhere, a Minnesota traveler was also confirmed to have contracted the virus.


Rush for the exits
: why China’s capital flight carnage will continue

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Having lost over 50% of its market value since the end of 2013, the outlook for Whole Paycheque Foods is somewhere between miserable and suicidal. And then along comes Kelly Bania of BMO Capital Markets who conducted a survey of 1000 Whole Paycheque Food shoppers. And as you will see, Kelly manages to rub overpriced organic salt into the festering gob-hole of Whole Paycheque Foods (or something like that, The Mayor’s analogy abilities are lacking today):

More than 70% of the respondents told Bania that they had not noticed any changes in prices in Whole Foods over the past three months — even though the company has touted its efforts to lower prices to be more competitive with supermarkets.

In other words, the perception of Whole Foods being a place where you spend your Whole Paycheck remains.

And in an even more troubling development, only 24% of customers said organic products at Whole Foods were “definitely” higher quality than organic food at grocery stores.

Fifty-four percent of those surveyed said the quality of the food was “sometimes” better at Whole Foods while the remaining 22% said “not at all.”

That’s bad news for Whole Foods. If Whole Foods’ own customers don’t think the products are worth the price, then how much longer will they remain loyal shoppers?

Whole Paycheque Foods is too expensive, and the people that regularly shop there are the types of people you would like to beat unconscious with a shovel. There is no denying that. There is no denying that there is very little value in anything Whole Paycheque Foods (WPF) sells, and the store is just another status symbol for those that will be the first to be crushed when the upcoming revolution arrives.

$2.20 a lb for organic bananas? Do they come with a monkey attached who will peel them for The Mayor? No? Then The Mayor will stick to the .66 non-organic bananas he can pick up any day of the week at No Frills.

It’s true that a lot of food at WPF is organic, but that doesn’t resonate with the average Joe/Jane when organic food is ridiculously expensive. Sure, everyone would like to eat organic if they could, but then again, everyone would like to have been born with golden nipples that spew champagne when rubbed betwixt their index finger and thumb. The thing is, you can’t always get what you want. You can try sometime, you just might find, you get what you need.

The economy isn’t right for WPF. Other than The Mayor, there aren’t a lot of people willing to pay $11.99 for a 250ml of onion juice. It’s so delicious, and totally refreshing. People are tight right now, debt is out of control, and places like WPF do not cut it. We are in No Frill’s and Food Basic times, not WPF times. That again, is the truth. The Mayor doesn’t expect a hallelujah, but a head nod would be nice once in a while.

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Jan
26

Sears – Just Die Already


Sears Canada is about to drop the Craftsman hammer on more stores throughout Canada, as sales have been sucking more than an Eureka SuctionSeal upright vacuum cleaner:

Sears’s sales declines over the past decade underline the urgency for it to reduce its footprint. The retailer’s sales have plummeted by almost half to what is expected to be just more than $3-billion in fiscal 2015 from about $6-billion 10 years earlier

According to the article, the big difference between this round of store closings and the previous 6 billion rounds of store closings, is that this time around, landlord’s don’t have businesses to replace Sears with. Before this, landlord’s would happily rip up a Sears lease because there were tons of other businesses ready and willing to have their asses handed to them on a platter (Target, Best Buy, Big Lots, Staple’s, etc). But now? Not so much. Landlord’s are stuck with giant anchor holes filled in between with 50% junk stores that are already dead but don’t know it yet (Rikki’s, Cleo, Dynamite, Claire’s, Tip Top Tailor, Old Navy, American Eagle, Bluenotes, Fairweather, Le Chateau, etc).

Brick and mortar for the most part has had it. The high end malls will still do well for a while, but sooner or later they’ll be finished as well. Outlet malls will survive until people realize that they are broke and outlet prices are ridiculous and the quality of their merchandise is pure shit.

Nothing is new and exciting, people are broke as a joke, quality isn’t a real word any more, and The Mayor looks terrific when he wears tight shirts. That’s the truth, and the truth shall make you horny.

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Jan
25

Green Shoots & Leaves


The only way to confirm if a fish is actually dead, is if the fish has X’s over its eyes. If there isn’t an X over each eye, then there is a 100% chance that fish is still alive. Keep that in mind, it will serve you well.

The Mayor told you a few days ago that the world is perfect and no one should worry about the temporary downturn in our perfect stock market. Get your rally caps on, take some speed and grab a bottle of Valu-rite vodka, because today (Friday) is going to be one humdinger of a stock day. The Mayor is calling 400 pts to the upside. Muppets rejoice, the FED has your back.

I don’t think China’s economic slowdown is that severe to threaten the global economy,” said Bernanke at the Asian Financial Forum held in Hong Kong. Bernanke argued that the global economy was more troubled by a global savings glut, which had long been a drag on investments.

Schlumberger Loses $1 Billion, Raises Layoffs to 30,000, Doubles Share Buybacks to $20 Billion

As its fortunes collapse due to falling oil prices, Royal Dutch Shell PLC will fire 10,000 people in an effort to bolster margins.

On Wednesday, we learned that the MSCI All-Country World Index has fallen a total of more than 20 percent from the peak of the market. So that means that roughly one-fifth of all the stock market wealth in the entire world has already been wiped out.

What Sent Stocks Soaring Overnight: DB’s Jim Reid Explains

Debunking the Myth “Consumer Spending is 67% of GDP

“Bowels Emptied! Women Molested!” German Media Reveals “Monstrous” CCTV Footage Of Refugee Pool Mayhem

Syria: The Battlefield Negotiations Now Favor The Syrian Government

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