Sep
21

Fenris Badwulf, caring person


Someone has to be Human Resources Manager for Mitchieville, and that someone is me. I live in an administrative hell: state regulations, corporate rules, and the unspoken norms of behavior that evade the one way justice of the informants and provocateurs of the Human Rights Tribunals. I am the one who wields Occam’s Shovel: if the diversity hire urinates in the paper recycling bin; that is diversity is strength and their reward is a paper hat; if the non-diversity mutters about urine a-slosh, stinking up the office, and making coffee break time a time of nausea and discord, then a paper trail of administrative actions must appear in files and meeting room schedules, sufficient to delude the inquisition that everyone expects to come, efficient enough to allow the workers to keep working, and complicit in appeasement enough to convince the diversity that a paper hat is a Crip culture token of a reparations wide screen TV.

Keep on reading!

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Sep
16

In the Heavens: The Moon is in first quarter on Sunday. Cast your spells of increase like the pagans are wont to do.

Mercury forms a trine to Pluto on Sunday. Communications relating to collective wealth. The victorious side will be the one that has done its homework and prepared for the trial.

Mars squares Uranus on Monday. Accidents and unexpected assaults, injuries that draw blood to the shins and burns to the throat. All new technology is suspect. Beware of microwave ovens, electrical devices you hold close to your head, and mechanical chicken de-boners and their ilk.

The Moon conjuncts Saturn on Monday. Those that break the rules will get a lesson in why we have rules. Expect Jaywalkers to get run down, cell phone chatting drivers to get mangled, and lazy tradesmen to fall off buildings. Falling from heights is the favorite of Saturn, followed by crushing. The Moon favors drowning: those that did not heed mandatory evacuation orders will start to stink as they decompose.

The Moon conjuncts Pluto on Tuesday. Emotions more powerful than reason motivate the powerful in an attempt to control ‘the people’. As the Moon is in detriment in Capricorn, the attempt will be brutal and barbaric. Mars in Aquarius (being idealistic in a steady paycheck and pension benefits sort of way) is the saving throw: the minions of the emotionally driven powerful will only do the minimum required. You will realize from the events on Sunday (Mercury trine Pluto) what side you are on; conveniently, the powerful are not driven by reason and are completely ignorant of the warnings or foresight.

Aries: You are the leader foretold in the prophecy. The great battle will be Monday. You will face the enemy in the front rank in the center of the line. All eyes will be upon you, even, unfortunately, the rheumy eyes of the war elephants of the enemy.

Taurus: Some questionable decisions made while you are drunk and playing dice will turn to your advantage when you find a large sum of money in the trunk of your car. Nobody seems to have missed it, and the unmistakable scent of a cologne known to you from a drunken debauch will help you remember.

Gemini: You will be transformed by a realization. The room will spin and you will perceive the movement of the planets. Your mind is operating at a higher level, well above the norm of fifty thousand decisions per second. You will manifest supernatural powers, being able to compel people with your thoughts.

Cancer: You will find yourself oppressed by the unthinking actions of the mob on Monday. You will be delayed unfairly and often. Even surrendering to rage and going on a spree of mayhem will give you no relief. Only the blood of your enemies will quench your thirst.

Leo: A face, which you will realize is familiar to you from your dreams, will come to your notice in a crowded cafeteria. From this incident you will be lead, indirectly, to a substantial increase in your fortune.

Virgo: Someone other than you did not bother to read the instructions leading to a horribly miscast spell. The forces of Chaos are unleashed and someone gets sucked into an opening chasm. You are prepared, and now you needs must up your game to be prepared for the splash damage from those who are not prepared.

Libra: Keep a mask handy at your place of work for one of those ’someone put LSD into the jasmine tea’ days when not much gets done other than appreciation of cloud formations. Someone is making an illegal surveillance of the work place, but only to slake their depraved lusts. A promotion not earned with merit should still have some style.

Scorpio: Go shopping and get a new pair of shoes; even used shoes from a thrift shop will do. In fact, you will find some incredible bargains and save big. Break the jaw of a street beggar when they refuse to polish your shoes in exchange for a cigarette.

Sagittarius: It is one of those rare moments when the normally surly and disreputable are cheerful and honorable. A moment to savor! Complete outstanding projects to your advantage … you are the victorious tortoise, and your supposedly faster and better competitors are so much street dog in a village of hungry peasants.

Capricorn: Your completion of tasks to further your agenda is gaining momentum. A sinkhole is responsible for the shifting of the street pavement; do not jump up and down at the center of the depression. A scandal involving the introduction of human flesh into fast food comes to your attention.

Aquarius: You are surrounded by primitives, but that is because you are enlightened. Eat your fill this week. Food will taste better and you will find wonderful bargain at the stores. Do sit naked in your residence and feel the breeze of freedom on your genitals.

Pisces: A confusing error in communication starts your week off on the wrong tentacle. Your spirit animal for the month is an octopus or squid. This will be a difficult choice to make. You will experience great fortune while food shopping. Lurk in the store and think of being a greater predator than you are.


I, Sargon the Magnificent, wrote this horoscope.

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Sep
11

Victory Coffee


Get to work, worker. The rent seekers are just going to bed; you have to go to work.

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Sep
10

Victory Coffee


Worker, go to work. This has european content which is both progressive and not to be criticized. Drink your Victory Coffee and take your racist rapist white supremicist ass to work, scum. The rent seekers need your confiscated income.

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Sep
9

In the Heavens: New Moon on Sunday at the start of the week. The New Moon is in Virgo, and in opposition to Neptune, ruling in Pisces. So, the normally healthy and uplifting ‘bring in the harvest’ energy which we associate with Virgo, will be undermined by some foggy, illusionary, deceptive narrative. Neptune, while ruling in Pisces, is also retrograde, so the critics are doomed to some typically Pisces undoing down the road. I suspect our Silicon Valley know-betters do not have access to competent astrologers who would advise them to more auspicious timing for their censorship in the service of social engineering.

Venus and Mars are in square. This aspect of domestic violence, infidelity, rough sex, and the intense which flows out of male-female relationships (and has been doing so since the start of time) peaks at the start of the week. Venus (still in aspect) changes sign from Libra (which she rules) to Scorpio (where she is in detriment). This happens on Monday. Characters caught up in the Venus role move suddenly from control to subjugation. They fall. On the Monday when this happens, Mars, as opponent, is still en-nobled (being that Mars is exalted in Capricorn). So, the fall of these characters does not fall to the darker depths that Venus in Scorpio can experience. At least until Wednesday, when Mars itself changes sign from Capricorn to Aquarius. Mars loses it’s exaltation and transforms from quest knight to something more MGTOW. So, there are three phases: the second phase begins with a fall on one actor, and the third is the withdrawl of the other actor. These events are best observed, participation will put you in danger of infamy and incarceration.

Aries: Your pursuit of an opportunity lasts until Wednesday, when new facts change your direction. What you were after was not real, or has changed it’s nature to something unappealing.

Taurus: A vision of the future hastens your steps. A complication arises on Wednesday when an associate is unveiled as an immoral fraud. Road rage and a mob scene could occur on Wednesday as well. Be cautious in travel.

Gemini: You will discover a cache of misfiled books in a library or book store. The mystery of who is responsible and who is profiting from this will be up to you to discover. Be discrete.

Cancer: Rabies is spreading in your community. From housepets to obnoxious humans. Be cautious on Thursday that you do not get bit.

Leo: Wonderful money making opportunities exist until Wednesday when some young punk interjects himself into the cash flow pipeline.

Virgo: You rule this week. The world is full of gardens that need weeding. You will the lottery on Friday. Impose order.

Libra: A lover out of the past will be discovered to have third stage syphillis. Get thee to a doctor for some needed anti-biotics. Be discrete. Your current stable of lovers might be queasy about the grisly details.

Scorpio: Food served to you will be unacceptable, and questioning its compliance to food preparation laws in your jurisdiction could lead to charges of racism. Some problems need back alley solutions.

Sagittarius: You will be drawn into a distasteful secret combination that multiplies complexity through the week.

Capricorn: A full week of moving your agenda forward even as you look to the past for examples of how not to get things done.

Aquarius: You will be revitalized on Wednesday, with both a romantic opportunity and an intellectual question.

Pisces: You will have a mystical experience on Monday, to be experienced by yourself alone, although other non-corporeal beings will be in attendence. You stand at the threshold of the future as shaped by the past, and the present in reaction to the past.

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Sep
7

Victory Coffee


This installment of Victory Coffee should be savored and contemplated. You can pick up some style pointers, too.

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Sep
5

Victory Coffee


The actors in the movie The Seventh Seal, remember them? Their part in the plot? Well, in our time, in your personal journey as knight on a quest in your own personal Seventh Seal experience; the actors will be played by ABBA.

This thought will give you waking nightmares, unless you watch this video before you wake up and drink your Victory Coffee.

Oh yeah, human resources has designated today ABBA day at work. You better have something to wear. You don’t want to be a square.

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Sep
2

In the Heavens: Saturn goes direct on Thursday. As this happens in Capricorn (which Saturn rules), you may expect a change for the better for those entities which comprise the Administrative Intelligence in your personal world. This wonderful event occurs with a reinforcing trine from Uranus (itself retrograde in Taurus), so some high tech treachery (attempts to manipulate the surface appearances of things) will be turned against the evil souls who created it. Thursday, the tables are turned on high tech manipulators.

The Moon is waning towards the New Moon (which happens next week). Those of you who practice pagan expedient means will see those problems you have enchanted wane away, to disappear on the New Moon (next week, Sunday, September 9, 2018).

A Grand Trine forms. On Friday, Mercury moves into Virgo to complete a grand trine with Saturn (in Capricorn), and Uranus (in Taurus). Oh dear. Expect some communications that will restore perception’s conception of reality from the fairy dust present to something more concrete. Jordan Peterson will smile.

In the Zodiac:

Aries: Your week begins with an opportunity to make money. A camera has been installed in the alley where you usually leave the drunks you have robbed, so be discrete. Your car key will work on more cars than your own on Thursday. Check out the mall for bargains.

Taurus: You may be caught up in a lurid sex scandal unless you don a disguise. Some mud encrusted peasant reveals a secret on Thursday, make sure they are not yours.

Gemini: You are working to a deadline, and that deadline is Tuesday. Clearly formulate your desires and visualize the outcome before you place your signet and seal on a request to Set, the Snake God. Your wishes will be granted.

Cancer: On Wednesday, take the opportunity to run naked on bare floor and carpet. After the revelations of Thursday, set aside time to get your mundane material chores dealt with. When the weekend arrives, go full pagan and slake your lusts in decadent pleasures.

Leo: Some dirty peasant will approach too close to your august personage on Wednesday. You are in peril of an infestation of bedbugs, foot fungus, or creeping skin pox. Push them away if you value your weekend of pleasures.

Virgo: Your actions have not gone unnoticed. You will be offered command of a Cossack regiment in the great rebellion which is brewing. Knowing the correct spelling and location of Zaporizhia will further your ambitions.

Libra: That fling you had a few weeks ago reappears later in this week. You used them as a toy, and discarded them without a qualm. None the less, your skills in the art of love have drawn them back for more humiliation and trembling ecstasy.

Scorpio: You can use your powerful sexual magnetism to wiggle yourself out of a legal complication on Wednesday. You are the sweet lickings than drip off an ice creme cone on a hot summers day.

Sagittarius: You will win the lottery this week. Actions of the state are in your favor but offend your sense of justice. Expect some excitement to come into your world after the events of Thursday.

Capricorn: An obstacle to your advancement will choke on something on Thursday. It will be a long five minutes watching while you think about what to do. Push their cell phone away from their hands so that they do not damage it.

Aquarius: You will have a prophetic dream on Thursday night. When you go shopping for clothes in a second hand store, you will have a vision of an alternate future.

Pisces: An alternate universe has established a beach head in your personal space. Let someone else do the heavy lifting. Be a creditible witness to a work place accident on Thursday.

I, Sargon the Magnificent, wrote this horoscope.

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Aug
26

Aries: The beginning of the week is your optimal time for contemplation and training for the maximum effort towards your agenda later in the week. If you are inclined towards the ambush, this is the perfect time for a surprise attack, but do so after Tuesday.

Taurus: Your discerning eye will recognize an exciting scientific discovery that will transform your future life. On Monday, you will witness a public drama.

Gemini: Events that are good for the mob are not necessarily good for you. Events Monday will stew away until next Monday, when a reform is made in your favor. Things aesthetic are wonderful this week.

Cancer: On Monday, you are in danger of a maritime disaster. Do not rule out sabotage. And, your estate can look forward to a hefty settlement with the magic smiley face words ‘double indemnity’. Choose carefully which boat or bridge you choose.

Leo: Details work out to your advantage. People that appear and disappear are most likely extraterrestrial tourists. Take note of the neighbor whose shrubs grow unnaturally fast.

Virgo: The Old Gods are making a come back, and your aura is most attractive to their retro sense of taste. Participate in pagan ritual on Monday!

Libra: The War God smiles upon your plans. The earth will shake with your footsteps. The unwashed mob and their media handlers will cower at your shadow. You will step in dog poo on Monday.

Scorpio: Find time to get rich quick this week. Drag your attention away from your sex life to spend a few bucks on a lottery ticket. Other opportunities for fabulous wealth seek your attention.

Sagittarius: Your ambition to have a private army is fulfilled this week. The logical next step are private courts, and some sort of ‘rehabilitation’ system. Perhaps the basement could be up graded. When setting bolts into concrete, follow the instructions on the box.

Capricorn: A frontal assault upon the foe is called for Tuesday. You will have the advantage of surprise. Now is the time to get a return on all that food you have been feeding to the War Elephants.

Aquarius: You will be rewarded with a bounty of shopping bargains in all areas of consumption. You need new shoes … go get them! The universe values your suggestions about urban forest development.

Pisces: Use your superior skills in necromancy to unleash a Cossack Uprising that the establishment will remember. Well, those that survive, anyway.

I, Sargon the Magnificent, wrote this.

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Aug
25

From the Desk of the Darklord


When one peers into the fog and listens to the distant rumbles (an arrayed illusion crafted by partisans with base and venal motivations) one rarely comes to a comfortable conclusion. However, financial expediency dictates that your risk averse capital needs must be pre-positioned for optimal long term advantage taking. Nobody can disagree with that. And with that it comes that, well, maybe yes, if our progressive diversity knight, Justin Trudeau, son of Pierre, does not bring the human industrial communities of Planet Earth into compliance with the Kyoto Accord, then, indeed, the institution of slavery will return. In your lifetime, you will see society change. Where now there is Global Warming flooding of the sacred landfill of the Toronto Islands, there will come to be found The Slave Market of Toronto. If you wish to avoid this horrible future, I suggest you go into debt and give generously to the political party of the last hope of Diversity; then, sacrifice your free time as party fundraising telemarketer, or neighborhood garbage recycling standards compliance prefect, with opportunities to rally for staged photo performance theater for corporate media sympathetic to the Global Warming narrative.


I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.

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Aug
25

Cooking with Fenris


Quick and easy to prepare, this Diversity Menu recipe will make everyone smile! Very rich in nutrients and fibre.

Ingredients:
1 cup oatmeal
2 cups water
1 bag shredded cabbage

Mix the oatmeal and the water in a microwave safe bowl. Microwave for 99 seconds, stir, microwave for 99 seconds again. Remove from microwave and stir in a half handful of shredded cabbage. (If serving Connaught style, just make a thatch of cabbage and do not mix). Top up with water and ladle into a dog bowl (to show solidarity with Canine-Canadians). To reduce carbon footprint, do not use cutlery.

The basement people love this, and will even eat it twice a day on those days they get fed twice.

Diversity Menu
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.

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Aug
19

Aries: Wednesday, you are drawn into an episode by people that do not know what they are doing. Friday, there is an explosive crowd scene. You are in danger of being bitten by an old man.

Taurus: You will be told something disagreeable by someone who just wants to savor your distaste. Mark this person down on your shit list.

Gemini: Your week begins with a recharged you. Everything works! Your special skills will draw attention. Monday, your superior driving skills will be challenged by a transport truck loaded with large animals.

Cancer: Dip into your cache of comfort food for solace on Wednesday and Thursday. Just before midnight on Wednesday, an opposing army will be obliterated using your suggested tactics.

Leo: A last minute birthday present arrives. Late Thursday, you will be in danger if you go into a back alley.

Virgo: A secret admirer will reveal themselves on Friday. Some questions will be resolved at that time.

Libra: You will have a week of barbarian pleasures. Cast aside your nominal veneer of civilization. At least once this week, run naked through the trees.

Scorpio: You can win the lottery this week, but you have so many reasons not to. This inner struggle will push you towards taking up smoking again.

Sagittarius: The plot thickens at work. Your independent research points towards a conspiracy. You will learn more on Monday, and they will make their first move on Wednesday.

Capricorn: Someone in your dungeon will finally spill their guts. This is a tribute to your foresight and good trade craft.

Aquarius: Somehow, your resistance just makes the opposition stronger. This is the spiritual moment in your quest when you throw yourself into the abyss and are saved by angelic forces.

Pisces: You will win the lottery with a ticket you buy on Monday. Maybe buy three, you will feel better until you get the results.

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