This is perhaps one of the best video’s The Mayor has ever seen in his life. It pretty much sums up why we, as a species, are finished.

“It’s a little cold today, but the sun is shining and it’s promising to be a spectacular day. David stayed on the ship, as he got kind of wasted last night at the bar and is feeling all topsy turvy this morning. Gotta go, the kids and I are taking a pilates course in about an hour on the main deck. Fun fun fun!”

Is that guy in shorts, or underwear? It makes a big difference if you’re trying to explain why he’s running away from that really big cat.

Isn’t that the name of the tiniest dinosaur in those Barney shows? You know, Barney, the purple dinosaur? I love you, you love me?

Ya right, pretend you don’t have a clue what The Mayor is talking about. Real nice. REAL nice.

Every couple of days The Mayor receives a comment from a Mitchieville newbie, a comment that is sitting in moderation, waiting to be approved or axed. These comments nearly always have to do with an old post, sometimes from posts The Mayor doesn’t even recognize. Many times, the newbie commenter’s from these posts insult The Mayor and his constituents, saying some rather nasty things about us. 

And that makes The Mayor smile. For The Mayor believes that no matter how idiotic these malcontents are, they do have a right to their stupid opinions. 

The Mayor will link up these posts as they come along, because he knows how much his constituents like this sort of outrageous entertainment. Here’s one to get you started – Kathleen Turner’s Looking Good. 

Speaking about people with names that are difficult to pronounce, Mr Fnortner was the only person who correctly identified both questions in MindTrapthe last time we played. As the kids would say, “Mr Fnortner did rather well”. It’s so good we have well-mannered children. 

Mr Fnortner stands alone. He is quickly becoming legend around these parts. Most likely he drives a foreign car and speaks upwards of two languages. The Mayor supposes he likes expensive scotch and has small dinner plates, possibly the 8″ kind. He’s good with animals, no doubt, and is wife is always satisfied when it comes to matters of the sexual nature. My Fnorter can still climb a tree, and he can throw a curve ball when asked. He has an expensive laptop, and the drapes in his living room are vacuumed by a team of professional maids every three years. That’s Mr Fnortner for you. You people never stood a chance. 

Here are today’s MindTrap questions, and try not to hate Mr Fnortner too much: 

1) There is an ancient invention still used in some parts of the world today that allows people to see through walls. What is it? 

2) All the vowels have been removed from the following proverb, and the remaining letters broken into groups of three letters each. Replace the vowels to find the proverb. 

BRD SFF THR FLC KTG THR 

And there you have it. Good luck to all our MindTrap players. Everyone is encouraged to play, you don’t have to have a small, expensive, European sports car to get into this game (like Mr Fnortner does). We all all treated pretty much equal in the eyes of your Mayor. 

Start!

Every Canadian that just read that comic strip nodded their head in agreement, for we all know it’s true. And, we’re sorry for it.

Let’s face it, Miss Piggy was one hated Muppet. Of all the Muppets, she was by far the most despised. That’s why The Mayor didn’t cringe when he saw this cartoon. He saw it coming ages ago. He just thought it would have happened sooner. Good job, Kermit, you’re a true hero.

Sits two on either side comfortably, the Ikea Fluffenheistermeister Chair® is available in brown or black. It now comes with 40 extra screws, for your convenience. At $29.99 the Ikea Fluffenheistermeister Chair® won’t last long, so get yours now!

The Mayor likes this ad because it reminds him of the time he himself was trying to get rid of about 200 cinder blocks. He himself? Sure, that sounds right.

Although the ad above may seem way over the top, buddy is correct in everything he’s saying. When The Mayor was trying to get rid of a bunch of cinder blocks – and keep in mind they were FREE – people would email him asking all sorts of stupid questions about them. Like, what is the size of a cinder block? Are all the cinder blocks the same size? What colour are they? The Mayor kids you not, those were but a few of the questions idiot people asked.

Then, when someone agreed to pick up a bunch, they just couldn’t help but talk about their boring project and what they’re going to use the cinder blocks for. As if The Mayor cared. “Wow, you’re building a small retaining wall? Would you mind telling The Mayor all about it? And make sure not to leave out even the smallest detail”.

Anyway, buddy seems to have some decent cinder blocks, you may want to consider picking some up for that project you’ll never do.

The Mayor thought our friend Buck might get a snicker out of this one. Well, are ya snickerin’, Buck?

The Mellow Jihadi got this excellent tattoo the other day. He was looking for something that wasn’t too gaudy, didn’t draw unwanted attention, yet it had to have a cultural and religious impact. Ta da!

The Mayor has to say, that really doesn’t look an awful lot like Allah though.

Tragic, yes:

A Saudi woman who defied a driving ban in the kingdom was injured and her companion killed when their car overturned in the northern Hael province, a police spokesman said on Monday.

“One woman was immediately killed and her companion who was driving the car was hospitalised after she suffered several injuries” when their four-wheel-drive vehicle overturned late on Saturday, said police spokesman Abdulaziz al-Zunaidi.

Ultra-conservative Saudi Arabia is the only country in the world where women are not allowed to drive.

The Mayor isn’t saying he agrees with the Saudi driving ban, but maybe these laws were put in place for a reason.

Just shittin’ ya, Man, The Mayor can really be an insensitive boob sometimes.

Hahahaha, “boob”.