10 Great One-Liners
Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR”. What’s my mother going to do?
Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
I saw a woman wearing a sweat shirt with “Guess” on it…so I said “Implants?”
I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks.
If I agreed with you we’d both be wrong.
Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
Did you know that dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish?
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
June 26th, 2009 at 10:14 am
Heheh! Good one,Mayor.
I especially like,”If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong”, and ,with permission, will use it often.