More Great One-Liners
Hallmark Card: “I’m so miserable without you, it’s almost like you’re still here.”
I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
Whoever coined the phrase “Quiet as a mouse” has never stepped on one.
I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
I should’ve known it wasn’t going to work out between my ex-wife and me. After all, I’m a Libra and she’s a bitch.
You are such a good friend that if we were on a sinking ship together and there was only one life jacket… I’d miss you heaps and think of you often.
There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
When in doubt, mumble.
July 1st, 2009 at 11:33 am
Thanks,Mayor. I especially like #8.
July 1st, 2009 at 11:52 am
That’s my fave, too. Followed closely by #2.
July 1st, 2009 at 12:38 pm
I just peed laughing.