I Like To Ride My Bicycle
I know to most of you this is how your *Dear Penthouse* letter begins, but this is serious business:
Police in central Sweden are on the hunt for a gang of tattooed women who sexually molested a 50-year-old man as he was riding by on his bicycle.
The incident took place around 9pm on July 8th as the man was cycling down Vintergatan in central Örebro, the Aftonbladet newspaper reports.
Suddenly, someone grabbed hold of the rack on the back of the man’s bike, causing him to fall to the ground.
“The girls ran up to him and pulled the bicycle down so he fell,” Örebro police spokesperson Annika Haaster told the newspaper.
As the man was lying defenceless on the ground, the women proceeded to pull off his trousers and underwear and molest him sexually before fleeing the scene.
According to police, the 50-year-old was not otherwise beaten or physically assaulted by the gang of five girls.
The victim told police that the girl who actually pulled down the bicycle was about 175 centimetres (5 feet, 7 inches) tall and had tattoos on her forearms.
Authorities are hoping that tips from the public can help them apprehend the suspects responsible for the bizarre attack.
“It’s downright unusual for five girls [to do something like this]. Perhaps there are others who’ve had the same thing happen to them,” Haaster told Aftonbladet.
I’m sure that when first reading this story, most men got the image in their head that the tattooed attackers looked something like this.
Nice try. But you couldn’t be more wrong.
If there is an actual gang of young sexual predators taking advantage of old bicyclists, they are going to look more like this. Or even this. Possibly this.
So, get this and this and this out of your head, because it’s definitely this, this and this.
Or maybe that’s your thing.
Sicko.
July 20th, 2009 at 11:21 am
I skipped the last three links, does that make me a bad person?
By the way, in case you are of a mind to please your readers, quit actually posting words and just bring more of the Sung Hi Lee photos. Dammit, boy, I’ll take a half a dozen of those.
July 20th, 2009 at 5:25 pm
The first three links were enough to make a guy swear celibacy for,well…forever! The next three were, in fact, exactly what I had imagined, and I’d just pasted an “I am submissive” sticker to my forehead,and oiled up the old five speed!
The last three sent my gonads into possibly permanent retreat. Let’s have our lawyers do lunch.