A frequent request made to Financial Astrologers is to summon an Army of the Undead to provide short term staffing solutions for industry, business, construction, and food services. Sargon and Associates is Ontario’s leading supplier of Undead Temporary Help to the Construction Industry.

Why are the undead better construction workers?

a) You do not have to pay them

b) They never have to go to the bathroom or eat food, improving productivity.

c) They frighten your other employees. No more problems with glue sniffing and/or masturbating in the portable toilets!

d) They do not smell as bad in the cold weather, the best time of year for construction.

e) The Undead are immune (sort of) to the effects of lethal voltages, toxic dusts, lethal liquids, falls from heights, crushing hazards, and boredom related accidents.

f) Undead Construction Workers are upwardly mobile: we have placed superior zombie staff into management and administration positions!

The undead are making money for your competitors, why not you?

Sounds good to me. How do I get in on the ground floor of this money making opportunity?

Its simple! Sargon and Associates will supply you with all the zombie electricians, plumbers, drywallers, sheet metal artists, carpenters, laborers, and brickworkers you need. Start with a small work force of twenty, then work you way up to two hundred lost souls of construction! Our prices are competitive. You will not regret it, in this world or the next!

Just ask our field staff at the new Brampton Hospital at Boivard and Bramalea Road in Brampton, Ontario …

Bob, Electrical Foreman: Sure, they smell bad, but they work 24/7. Now that the cold weather is here, they last longer. A zombie can last up to twenty minuites working with live voltages before they smoulder into a bubbling puddle of rancid fat. And the raccoons just come in at night and eat the mess, anyway. It is great. Thank you, Sargon.

Why not take a tour of the job site? Everyone not wearing a white hat is a zombie! Call and book your tour today. See how using the undead can make your business better!

Contact Sargon the Magnificent for an instant response to all your business needs for astrological services and undead staff requisitions

This entry was posted on Friday, December 2nd, 2005 at 10:40 pm and is filed under News. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.