Horoscope for the week of December 6, 2009
Mercury has transited back into Capricorn, and is conjunct Pluto as the planet of communication does its function of communicating between above and below. Astute observers note that the difficulties and scandals that erupt to thwart the progressives are triggered by planets entering or exiting Sagittarius. Expect political news on the 14th of this month then, when the Moon makes its way back into that sign.
Aries: You should make room for excitement for Friday. The week will drag, true. You will feel frustrated by the sluggards and the dullards and the inept, until friday. Make your move then, like an unleashed coiled spring, or a samuri, or whatever metaphore suits you best.
Taurus: You will be one ingredient short in all your cooking. Even an extra shopping will, somehow, leave your larder short of one special item. Your shoe lace will break on Wednesday.
Gemini: Power will come into your hands when you arrive at work on Monday. Some powers you will keep, some will slip away. You may wish to pass off some of the crappier assignments to minions. Tuesday will be a day of crisis, with you as spokesman of doom.
Cancer: Social intrigue will orbit around you this week. Every day, something new and shocking. Your bed and warm comfy blankets will be a refuge. Beware of noxious children, especially the one with a concealed listening device.
Leo: Prepare for the adventure that is to come. Your 2010 will be full of excitement; a hint of which you get this Wednesday. So, stock up on sex toys and breath mints.
Virgo: Your observations about the future are especially accurate this particular week. Good luck trying to tell the dinosaurs around you. Especially in the early hours of Tuesday, when you should have a prophetic dream.
Libra: Someone has left their underwear in your sofa, which will cause you no amount of embarassment, especially when you realize whose under garments they are, which will happen in the middle of something else you are doing. A mystery and a puzzle, all solved by Saturday.
Scorpio: Keep your car trunk empty for the body you have to stuff in there on Thursday night. Plans about dinner might have to wait while you do some quick shovelling. Just pretend you are hiding the evidence the proves Global Warming. No one will ever find it, er, them.
Sagittarius: Your calm approach to crisis is not as appreciated as just going to panic stations. You can see a way out of the hole, but a whole bunch of other people cannot. Let them suffer. And get a new pair of shoes.
Capricorn: Your plans for Total World Domination move forward another square. And speaking of squares, you should memorize that speech for your secret society. You will be called upon to give it when you next meet this week. Materialism is you, Capricorn.
Aquarius: Yes, the neighbours cat is really a space alien. It watches you with far too much intelligence. These things happen. So, go out and get some lottery tickets. You will win the lottery this week.
Pisces: Travel is on your mind. Just watch out for Rod Serling. And, of course, when you do travel, you will find that what you are looking for is right where you came from. Keep bandages handy for your sensitive feet.
