The significator of the common people transits into Sagittarius this Tuesday. There will be a fresh scandal to irk the aristocrats. It will expand to involve women and be of interest to women by Wednesday. Thursday will bring sudden and unexpected developments to this scandal. Short sell your holdings, and buy gold.

Aries: You will lose a sock, which will vex you. Nothing else will stand in your way, but this small thing will be a pebble in your shoe. Do not share your discomfort, as this will bring comfort to your enemies.

Taurus: Ancient kings and warlords often looked to your sign for executioners and doers of unsavoury deeds. This week, your boss looks to you for less grim, but no less important work. If they do not pay you what you demand, break their fingers. Slowly.

Gemini: If you do not buy a ticket, you will not win the lottery. The choice is yours. And someone around you has the plague. Avoid them and the diseased cup of coffee they bring you.

Cancer: Re-make contact with a parted friend. Lay in a supply of proper stuffs for cooking for Christmas, or Saturnalia. As this festival approaches, you will become irresistable to the opposite sex. Only if you are gay will this be a problem.

Leo: You will be thwarted, but will crush your opponents. You will enjoy crushing them. Keep a spare set of shoes handy.

Virgo: Something evil will try to grab you when you are close to a kitchen sink drain. Do not explore any form of underground structure if you value your soul. There are others that value it, for their own use, or for sale.

Libra: You will forget you lines when you go to the ritual at your secret society. Nobody will notice. But remember what you mis spoke! A certain mysterious person will come calling.

Scorpio: Space aliens are interested in your superior liver. The one that can handle alot of booze, that one. They will attempt to get a sample of your DNA. Expect to be seduced by a shape shifting space alien, perhaps Thursday. They will wear mis matched socks.

Sagittarius: You are the focus of attention, well, actually, some work you did. Be a sport and submit to change. Nobody will give you credit, anyway. Reawaken your interest in Prussian march music.

Capricorn: You will discover something about someone, which will cast light on your own interests. Which could be good. Which could be bad if you are having one of those rare Capricorn moments of self-realization. Go figure.

Aquarius: You will profit from your investments in munitions, weapons, and the suffering of others. They should have listened to you, shouldn’t they? Oh well. And change your socks.

Pisces: What you recollect you were doing a year ago will shed light on what you should be doing right now. You do not have much time because you will acheive Nirvana next week, on Tuesday. So, enjoy this week, you last moments before you begin to emit light.

This entry was posted on Sunday, December 13th, 2009 at 6:44 pm and is filed under Horoscope. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.