State Mottos
Alabama: Yes, We Have Electricity
Alaska: Jeez, it’s cold.
Arizona: But It’s A Dry Heat
Arkansas: Literacy Ain’t Everything
California: By 30, Our Women Have More Plastic Than Your Honda
Colorado: If You Don’t Ski, Don’t Bother
Connecticut: Like Massachusetts, Only The Kennedy’s Don’t Own It Yet
Delaware: We Really Do Like The Chemicals In Our Water
Florida: Ask Us About Our Grandkids
Georgia: We Put The “Fun” In Fundamentalist Extremism
Hawaii: Haka Tiki Mou Sha’ami Leeki Toru (Death To Mainland Scum, But Leave Your Money)
Idaho: More Than Just Potatoes. Well Okay, Not Really, But The Potatoes Sure Are Real Good
Illinois: Please Don’t Pronounce the “S”
Indiana: 2 Billion Years Tidal Wave Free
Iowa: We Do Amazing Things With Corn
Kansas: First Of The Rectangle States
Kentucky: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
Louisiana: We’re Not ALL Drunk Cajun Wackos, But That’s Our Tourism Campaign
Maine: We’re Really Cold, But We Have Cheap Lobster
Maryland: If You Can Dream It, We Can Tax It
Massachusetts: Our Taxes Are Lower Than Sweden’s (For Most Tax Brackets)
Michigan: First Line Of Defense From The Canadians
Minnesota: 10,000 Lakes And 10,000,000,000,000 Mosquitoes
Mississippi: Come And Feel Better About Your Own State
Missouri: Your Federal Flood Relief Tax Dollars At Work
Montana: Land Of The Big Sky, The Unabomber, Right-Wing Crazies, And Very Little Else
Nebraska: Ask About Our State Motto Contest
Nevada: Whores and Poker!
New Hampshire: Go Away And Leave Us Alone
New Jersey: You Want A ##$%##! Motto? I Got Yer ##$%##! Motto Right Here!
New Mexico: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
New York: You Have The Right To Remain Silent, You Have The Right To An Attorney
North Carolina: Tobacco Is A Vegetable
North Dakota: We Really Are One Of The 50 States!
Ohio: Where one of your dad’s friends lives
Oklahoma: Like The Play, Only No Singing
Oregon: Spotted Owl – It’s What’s For Dinner
Pennsylvania: Cook With Coal
Rhode Island: We’re Not REALLY An Island
South Carolina: Remember The Civil War? We Didn’t Actually Surrender
South Dakota: Closer Than North Dakota
Tennessee: The Educashun State
Texas: Si’ Hablo Ing’les (Yes, I Speak English)
Utah: Our Jesus Is Better Than Your Jesus
Vermont: Yep
Virginia: Who Says Government Stiffs And Slackjaw Yokels Don’t Mix?
Washington: Help! We’re Overrun By Nerds And Slackers!
Washington, D.C.: Wanna Be Mayor?
West Virginia: One Big Happy Family – Really!
Wisconsin: Come Cut The Cheese
Wisconsin: Come Smell our Dairy Air
Wyoming: Where Men Are Men (And The Sheep Are Scared)
January 20th, 2010 at 12:52 pm
HA! I saw that this morning, and started to steal it. But, I’ve got a friend/reader who is a Mormon that might not appreciate it…the Utah deal. I’m a sensitive guy, ya’ know!
Man, Kentucky & New Jersey really made me giggle.
January 20th, 2010 at 5:27 pm
Y’know,this post just reminds me of how deprived we Canadians are, culturally and licence platishly speaking.
Our Provincial mottoes,at least any I can think of,are uninspiring at best and just plain boring at worst.
B.C.: “super natural”! Why not: “Our Bud’s For You”?
Alberta: “Wild Rose Country”.
Saskatchewan: I can’t remember this one…help! (“Land of Stubble Jumpers?”)
Manitoba: “The Keystone Province” Dull! Dull! Dull!
Ontario:”We’re smug and we like it that way”.
Quebec: “Je me Souviens” Translation: “We remember how much we hate you Anglo pig-dogs”.
New Brunswick:”Same As the Old Brunswick”.
Prince Edward Island: “Land of a Million Spuds”
Nova Scotia: “Home of Hank Snow”.
Newfoundland: ” Lard T’underin’ Jayzuz,Bye”.
The Northern Territories:”Frozen in the Dark”.
No wonder we hate and envy the Americans so much.
January 20th, 2010 at 7:38 pm
dmorris: Bwahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha! Oh man, good work.
Jeepers, I wish I was from Nova Scotia.
“That big eight-wheeler rollin’ down the track, means your true-lovin’ daddy ain’t comin’ back, ’cause I’m movin’ on, I’ll soon be gone!
You were flyin’ too high, for my little old sky, so I’m movin’ on…”
Now, them’s some lyrics for the Nova Scotian textbooks!
I know you won’t believe me if I tell ya’ that I met Hank Snow once. He was on contract with RCA along with my “Uncle David” Houston. He passed through here when I was a kid, and actually did a performance at the crappiest dive on Caddo Lake…a place called “Kool Point Lodge.”
Hank wasn’t too particular about where he played. Obviously. I was just a little bitty kid, but I remember it like it was yesterday.
Dang…sometimes I wish I was Canadian.
January 20th, 2010 at 8:31 pm
Correction: Ontario’s motto is “You Can’t Do That”
January 20th, 2010 at 10:13 pm
Thanks for the memories,Andy! Y’know,you’ve met just about everybody in this world that’s important,Grandpa Jones, Junior Samples, Hank Snow! Some day,in the distant future, you can die knowing you knew all the good ones. Lucky dog!
If you EVER tell me you met Hank Williams, I may be so jealous I’ll never speak to you again!
January 20th, 2010 at 10:41 pm
dmorris: I did not meet Hank Williams. He died before I was born. But, he did live here in Bossier City before he croaked.
My beloved Granddaddy sold him the first color television ever sold in the area from his TV/Appliance store. It was a special order, because Westinghouse was just launching the deal, and Hank had heard about it, and wanted one. Heck, I’m not even sure that the CBS station could broadcast in color…but Granddaddy sold him one anyway.
Tilman Franks was a side-man for Hank, and then went on to play with Johnny Horton, and eventually my Uncle David. Daddy knew them all, and I think dated some chicks in common.
Hank Jr. was born here at a hospital in Shreveport, but they lived in a little house over on Rome St. in Bossier City. It is exactly two blocks over from where I live now. There is an old dago grocery store on the corner, “Cascio’s.”
Whenever Hank Jr. stumbled his way back through these parts, he always stopped in to visit with old man Cascio. Old man Cascio almost had a stroke one day when his son moved the picture of him and Hank Jr. when they were rearranging stuff in the store.
Oh man…I’d better shut up. Nope! I never met Hank. And, I never met Hank, Jr.
But Don, I’ve got something I’ve been dying to give to someone that could really appreciate it. If you’re a REAL Hank Williams fan, e-mail me your address, and I’ll send it to you…no charge.
You know how to find me.