Mills McCartney doesn’t have a leg to stand on

Any article that involves someone losing a prosthetic leg is good enough for the pages of Mitchieville any day.

Paul McCartney’s wife Heather Mills McCartney lost her prosthetic leg during a violent confrontation with security guards at Jennifer Lopez’s New York office.

This is sounding like it could get pretty sexy.

The incident happened on Tuesday as the model turned animal rights activist attempted to deliver a People For The Ethical Treatment Of Animals (PETA) DVD showing creatures being killed for fur to Lopez.

After striding into the building opposite Manhattan’s Bryant Park, accompanied by an entourage of journalists and photographers, McCartney Mills – who lost a leg after being hit by a car in 1993 – was confronted by burley minders who yelled: “You have no authority to be here.

“Get out! Leave the floor immediately!”

In the tussle that ensued, Mills McCartney’s prosthetic leg became detached. She bent down and clutched her knee in pain, before asking to use a bathroom so she could reattach the leg.

No word yet if Mills McCarney started rubbing herself with her broken prosthetic leg, but in my mind that’s exactly what happened.

Why was she clutching her leg in pain, isn’t it prosthetic? Could it be possible that Mills McCartney is so in tune with nature that she can actually feel the pain of wood when it is snapped? That would be pretty impressive.

According to, Lopez’s guards continued to verbally attack the group – screaming: “Call the cops! Call the cops!” – until Mills McCartney recovered her composure and was able to leave the building.

Technically, yelling “Call the cops” isn’t considered *verbally attacking* someone.

If the guards were going to verbally attack Mills McCartney, they might have screamed something like this: “Hey, Hoppy, you are in this building ILLEGALLY, I ask that you take your chunk of wood and leave immediately, you self-righteous, preachy, sanctimonious, holier-than-thou, hypocritical, spurious glory hound”.

Let’s review. Mills McCartney has called on the world to boycott Jennifer Lopez’ music, clothing line, and movies, all because she wears fur. Mills showed up to Jennifers apartment with reporters and an *entourage* of photographers. She has been in every major paper denouncing Jennifer Lopez, and has been brutal to her for years. And why? Because Jennifer Lopez is making a choice that Mills disagrees with.

That’s like Jennifer Lopez asking the world to boycott anything of Paul McCartney because he has such terrible taste in women. Okay, so it’s not like that at all, but he does have terrible taste in women.

I’m glad her leg fell off, I just wish it was her head, that would have been super cool. I’m not a big fan of big-mouthed British women who try to ruin peoples careers and lives because they don’t believe in wearing fur. It would be laughable if it wasn’t so tragically pathetic.

I was going to have a salad for lunch today, but after reading that article I’ve decided otherwise. Now I’m going to go find the neighbours dog, skin it, eat it’s carcass, and make a nice pair of mittens out of its skin. Yes, dog meat and mitten skin for lunch. Yummy. Thanks Mills!!


Leave a Reply

Protected by WP Anti Spam