Saving Conrad Black
As Canadians, we must save Conrad Black.
Born to an immigrant family, struggling in poverty in intolerant Montreal in the oppressive Eisenhower era, young Conrad faced many obstacles to survival. His is a courageous fight against the forces of intolerance, heteronormativity, religious bigotry, and race hatred.
Conrad’s father barely earned enough for the family to survive. Welfare was not enough to supplement the family income. Soon, Conrad’s parents had turned to drink and tobacco as a distraction from the oppression of heteronormative Anglo-Montreal. Opportunities were non-existant for the children of immigrants in those days. Their only options were work in the Asbestos Mines or seasonal work in the Seal Hunt or Clearcutting Forests. Soon, Conrad, with nothing to do, was running with a street gang. There was no midnight basketball or needle exchange van or social worker for Conrad to turn to. Teacher-Librarians were unheard of. Education was ability centered, insensensitive to special needs and without focus on creativity and no free breakfast or lunch.
Caught up in crime, as all children are forced to do when social spending is inadequate, Conrad was sent to Upper Canada College, a school for hard cases and delinquents set up by an uncaring society that had turned its back on Conrad and types like him. Here, Conrad turned his life around thanks to an outreach group that introduced him to the teachings of Mahatma Ghandi. Conrad turned his back on street gangs and glue addiction and turned his energy over to becoming a social activist and champion of the downtrodden.
Conrad paid his way through college with scholarships for academic excellence and part time jobs as a hospital caregiver. Many people remember his kindness, feeding their invalid grandparents or returning lost kittens. He became a vegetarian, refused to burn wood in his fireplace, and would read books of inspiring literature to the blind in the local park.
His first public claim to fame came as a Pension Rights Activist for the Workers of Dominion Stores. Conrad was fought tooth and nail by the greedy owners, capitalist blood suckers, of that corporation, but his street sense, sharpened in the rough gang warfare of Westmount in Montreal served him in good stead as he led his fellow workers to victory. He was acclaimed as a Friend of Labor! Conrad was frequently found having a beer or toke with his union buddies, especially with his second family at the Canadian Auto Workers in their Oshawa hangouts.
Success came hard for Conrad after that. The establishment hated Uppity Blacks, especially Conrad, whom they hurtfully called Conrad the Black. There were not enough employment equity hiring quotas or subsidized positions to help him overcome the glass ceiling that existed to keep types like him down. Most of his peers turned to gun crime and drugs because of oppression, but Conrad struggled on against race hatred and Christian religious bigotry.
Conrad began to build a chain of newspapers aimed at social justice. To further his agenda of equality, diversity, and multiculturalism, he adapted a strict policy of editorial discretion and integrity which is the platinum standard to this day in the Main Stream Media.
As a role model for ethnic immigrant Canadians, many of whom have come to this country illegally, Conrad Black is a shining example of modesty, tact, and success. He faced public scorn when he announced his love for Barbara Amiel, in a move that broke obsolete societal norms and brought in a refreshing waft of diversity into the normally heteronormative atmosphere at the Toronto Sun, one of Conrad’s Socialist Vanguard Newspapers. Conrad is certainly one of the first to come out of the closet as a supporter of male/female marriage … a brave act at the time of the pre-AIDS anti-Gay hysteria that gripped the fascist state of Ontario under the jackboot of Bill Davis and his Gang of Meanies.
Conrad Black is a well known volunteer in the food bank and homeless shelters close to where ever he is working, especially at his simple head office on Toronto Street in the downtown core. Many people have been saved by his gentle words of encouragement when he was working at the Suicide Distress Line.
Now Conrad is facing prison at the hands of the American Empire. How can we let this activist go into some horrible G’itmo concentration camp? Tears are running down my face at the thought of the kind and gentle man being denied access to vegetarian buffet and limited access to the diversity television of the CBC. Conrad will be unable to make his yearly pilgrimage to see his friends among the Orca when he goes out to Vancouver Island to be with his Native Canadian brothers and sisters and go whale watching. No more Beachcombers, no more Bruno Gerussi.
I emplore you to include a note in your monthly donation to the Liberal Party to ask Paul Martin to restore Conrad Black’s Canadian Citizenship. I am sending my monthly Amnesty International cheque to Conrad’s legal defence fund. You should do the same, please. Please.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.
