Nicole Ritchie Ate No Fat

Looking at this picture of Nicole Ritchie sunbathing on a Malibu beach, it suddenly dawned on me the three things I want in a woman.

First, the woman of my dreams must have a beautiful smile, she must light up a room with her pearly whites. Secondly, the woman of my dreams must be a product of an interracial mixed marriage. Thirdly, and most importantly, the woman of my dreams must have a chest that I can play like an xylophone.

Nicole Ritchie is the woman of my dreams.

As an added bonus, think of all the money I’ll save on pork chops!

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