Lindsay Lohan is S-M-R-T

Lindsay Lohan released a statement Wednesday, sending her condolences to the Altman family. And what a treat it turned out to be:

“I would like to send my condolences out to Catherine Altman, Robert Altmans wife, as well as all of his immediate family, close friends, co-workers, and all of his inner circle.

“I feel as if I’ve just had the wind knocked out of me and my heart aches.

“If not only my heart but the heart of Mr. Altman’s wife and family and many fellow actors/artists that admire him for his work and love him for making people laugh whenever and however he could..

“Robert altman made dreams possible for many independent aspiring filmmakers, as well as creating roles for countless actors.

“I am lucky enough to of been able to work with Robert Altman amongst the other greats on a film that I can genuinely say created a turning point in my career.

“I learned so much from Altman and he was the closest thing to my father and grandfather that I really do believe I’ve had in several years.

“The point is, he made a difference.

“He left us with a legend that all of us have the ability to do.

“So every day when you wake up.

“Look in the mirror and thank god for every second you have and cherish all moments.

“The fighting, the anger, the drama is tedious.

“Please just take each moment day by day and consider yourself lucky to breathe and feel at all and smile. Be thankful.

“Life comes once, doesn’t ‘keep coming back’ and we all take such advantage of what we have.

“When we shouldn’t….. ‘

“Make a searching and fearless moral inventory of yourselves’ (12st book) -everytime there’s a triumph in the world a million souls hafta be trampled on.-altman Its true. But treasure each triumph as they come.

“If I can do anything for those who are in a very hard time right now, as I’m one of them with hearing this news, please take advantage of the fact that I’m just a phone call away.

God Bless, peace and love always.

Thank You,


Lindsay Lohan

Before you suggest otherwise, these really are Lohan’s condolences to the Altman family, I didn’t add or subtract anything from the statement.

What a beautiful statement this is, I’m very surprised Lindsay is smart enough to pen something so beautiful. And the part about “BE ADEQUITE”, well, she certainly has the market cornered on that. I’ve always said to anyone that will listen, “BE ADEQUITE”, for if we aren’t adequite then we are nothing at all. Or we are possibly more than adequite, I’m not sure which, but it’s one of the two.

A statement such as this must have been very hard for Lohan to write, and not just because I was nearly positive that Lohan couldn’t write. Think of all the Crayons she had to choose when she wrote this masterful piece of work, and think of all the sad faces :( she had to put on the paper. Very laborious.

Of course, Lohan isn’t the first Hollyweird *star* to send condolences to the Altman family, I’m sure every Hollyweirdo and their small dog has sent something to them. I have heard and seen the tributes pouring in regarding Altman, and I have only one thing to say, “Robert Altman was a fucking hack whose movies were pure shit. Take away M.A.S.H. and this guy would have been making informercials for Ronco”.

That’s the truth, spread the word. Or as Lohan would have said, “Spread the werd”.

Picture from Use My Computer…Who else?

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