My Celebration of Set Parade With Fenris Badwulf

Fenris called me a couple of days ago and invited me over to his place to watch the annual ‘Celebration of Set The Snake God Parade’ in his neighborhood. I’ve never been to a parade that celebrated Set before and happily agreed to attend. Fenris (that’s him standing on the stairs) had me meet him at his house in Eastern Toronto. I thought I heard a neighbor scream ‘for the love of God don’t go in there’, but decided it was the wind. Damn wind is always playing tricks on my mind. We headed inside for some breakfast.

It’s rude not to eat food when it’s offered but after my third bowl of Bean and Tuna Mush I just couldn’t eat anymore. Fenris had Sonjia DeSade ensure I ate every last bite. The joke is on Fenris, when he wasn’t looking I vomited my stomach contents into his heating ducts. Sonjia didn’t seem to care and then proceed to force feed me with an implement she called a “mouth shovel”. This would never happen at The Mayor’s place. With a smiling Fenris and a weak stomach I headed of to the parade. Everybody loves a parade!

This parade is a parade of full inclusion and Fenris was sure to see that skip-rope jumping obese-clown-Canadians had a spot in his parade. I thought I heard Fenris say that ‘the sales wolves are hungry’, but in hindsight I’m sure he said “it’s what Set would want”.

This inviting young minx offered everyone at the parade a lick of her lollipop. Those who said no were brutally beaten and taken away by gentlemen wearing dark black uniforms and driving Volkswagen’s.

This young girl, Gabrielle, is in her second year at the “Fenris Badulf School of Telemarketing Young Overachievers After School Program” funded 100% by the money you send Fenris. Gabrielle liked the Army Tanks the best. I was going to take a picture of them when something like a fist hit me in the back of the head. Must have been and excited parade watcher jumping up and down.

I’m not sure who this guy is but he answered to the name ‘Logan’. Logan likes cats as they help him ignore the thoughts that haunt his dreams at night. Fenris told me to not make eye contact and keep walking. I learned the hard way once before to never disobey Fenris.

Fenris had his favourite minstrel lead the parade in the songs of his youth. No ‘Smoke on the Water’ here, the songs Harry played were the marching tunes usually reserved for the July 12th ‘Battle of Boyne’ parade. I doubt William of Orange could handle an instrument like this.

The parade drew to a close with young Emilye reminding everyone of the Valentine’s Day Parade in a few short weeks.

Always remember: Set The Snake God loves you, Fenris loves you, The Mayor and Reg love you and Sonjia loves you too – for a small fee of course.

Send Fenris your money and Vote for Mitchieville as Canada’s Best Humour Blog ! It’s what Set wants.

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