Effective immediately, the Mitchieville human Rights Commission has seized power of the apparatus of the City of Mitchieville. In the absence of the Mayor (who is off getting married, by the way), the MHRC has taken over.
In order to secure the public good,
1) A public curfew … when the street lights get off, get off the streets! Go to your homes! Listen to the radio for fresh political instruction from the CBC.
2) A gasoline tax of a dollar a liter will be levied instantly on all fuel purchases. People who use gasoline are bad, and must be punished.
3) Pistols, rifles, and ammunition will be issued to certain trustworthy citizens. Those who support the work of the MHRC will be supported by the MHRC with an ammunitions subsidy.
Long Live those that Seek to Secure the Public Good!
Report to your friendly local police station to determine what your fate is!