FNMF–Picked By The Mayor

I am a big fan of Friday Female Flesh. When I was asked to pen a post for Friday Flesh, I was giddy with joy. When I found out that I was to pen a post on Male Flesh, I wasn’t as giddy. Actually, all the giddiness pretty well left my body and went to wherever the hell giddiness dies. Probably New York. Or the soul of a liberal.

Having said that, I welcome this opportunity to show you that not only do I have excellent taste in women, but I’m sure the women of Mitchieville will be pleasantly surprised at the male flesh that I have chosen just for them.

Ladies, enjoy.


Woody Allen–oh ya, he’s as yummy as a lollipop. He’s as good looking now as he was when he was a teenager in the 1920’s. A devilishly handsome man, chiseled like a rock, and sources say he’s hung like a squirrel–therefore, you will not have to worry about him hurting your most private parts. Woody Allen–slurpalicious!


Next up is Michael Moore. You will never have to worry about missing a meal with this bear on your arm. Some women like hairy and smelly–you know this guy will satisfy that need in spades. He is always in fashion with those sporty baseball caps. And those chubby, porky fingers–the only thing could be hotter is if he had the shakes. Just imagine, oh ya, go with that visual.


If you demand that your love interest has crazy orange hair and outrageously huge tits to wrap your mouth around, then Carrot Top is for you. He’s got the rugged good looks of a young Jeff Goldblum and the sex appeal of Lyle Lovett. He’s got the fresh face of a middle age Elton John and the beastly appeal of Nick Nolte with a dash of Marilyn Manson and a smidgen of Bill Gates thrown in for good measure. Enjoy the hell out of Carrot Top, ladies!

Wow, I was really in the zone tonight. You can thank me later.

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