Ship arriving too late to save a drowning witch

And if you got that obscure reference I applaud you.

WINNIPEG – Someone claiming to be a sister of the young man stabbed and beheaded on a Greyhound bus in Manitoba last month has been trying to use the horrific killing to collect money.

The unidentified person posted messages on the Facebook social-networking site last week, claiming to be Tim McLean’s eldest sister, Amanda.

The pleas for donations were on a handful of McLean tribute pages for a couple of days before people got suspicious. They pointed out the McLean family had already set up an account to accept donations at branches of TD-Canada Trust.

At the same time, someone reported the matter to the RCMP and the person posting as Amanda McLean was removed from Facebook.

You know I pulled the same stunt with Bernie Mac… dice.

Bono-fied fatty

Bono has reportedly been ordered to lose weight before U2 release their new album and start a proposed world tour next year.

The singer – who has been entertaining celebrity friends including Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie and Robert De Niro on his yacht in France this summer – has been told he needs to lose his excess pounds before the band start their promotional duties again.

A source told the New York Post newspaper: “U2 have an album coming out around January. And then the band is going on another world tour in March and April – so the boys have been told to start exercising all the summer weight off.”

I don’t think he looks that bad.

Crocodile rock

A crocodile killed and devoured a 25-year-old man in Bangladesh who waded into a pond next to a shrine hoping to be blessed by the animal, police said Thursday.

Inspector Humayun Kabir told AFP that Rubel Sheikh and his mother travelled 50 kilometres (30 miles) from their home to visit the Muslim Khan Jahan Ali shrine, where the attack happened.

Kabir said hundreds of people visit the shrine every day to offer hens and goats to the five crocodiles living in the pond. Part of the ritual also involves bathing in the water.

Seems like a great place to take a vacation….with your enemies.

She’s too sexy for herself

Avril Lavigne is getting under the skin of Malaysian censors.

A hard-line Islamic opposition party in the Southeast Asian country is calling on the government to scuttle an upcoming concert featuring the “Sk8er Boi” singer, calling her stage act way “too sexy” for local tastes.

Officials with the Pan-Malaysian Islamic Party’s youth wing contend Lavigne’s Aug. 29 performance in Kuala Lumpur would set a bad example for citizens, especially coming two days before the nation’s Aug. 31 Independence Day holiday.

“It is considered too sexy for us…it’s not good for viewers in Malaysia,” party official Kamarulzaman Mohamed was quoted by the Associated Press as saying. “We don’t want our people, our teenagers, influenced by their performance. We want clean artists, artists that are good role models.”

Man, someone should tell her, she’s got to stop hanging around Bono.

Truth is stranger than Strange

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