Stop Harper!

I have never been so terrified as I was last night. I was, like all telemarketers, forced to look for another job after that arch-fiend Harper trampled democratic priniciples and the rights of women to choice, by passing that fascist-reactionary act that has annihiliated so many hopes and dreams of telemarketers. So, I accepted an invitation to attend a right-wing, and by right-wing I always mean extreme far-right Christian extremist right-wing, right-wing blogger party. All I wanted was a job, instead, I had pint of draft fear, straight from the tap.

My endless horror began right after I was seated between an Albertan arms dealer and the Queen of the Witches. Arms dealer was here to sell discarded pistols and dumm-dumm ammunition to gangbangers; The Queen of the Witches was just sitting and listening, like a cat watching a bird feeder. I sipped my beer and felt small and insignifigant and fussed with my Pierre Burton style bow tie.

The it happened. It was like being slapped in the face with a salmon, or an octopus. I realized that they, the these people, these there right-wing bloggers, these plotters, were gloating over the plans of Stephen Harper to stage a coup! Stephen Harper is going to use military force to seize power if it looks like he is not going to get a majority government! Inside my horrified soul, I screamed like a girl.

You are not safe. Have you ever felt safe when Stephen Harper was running things? Well, your fears were not fearful enough. It is worse than you thought in your nightmares. Soon, combat troops with weapons and shiny boots will be in the streets of Toronto. Thats what I heard from these bloggers. They know these things. I am afraid. Stephen Harper frightens me.

The Canadian Army hates the left. From every soldier spit upon on the streets of Toronto, to the vandalized graves of our war dead, to the desecration of regimental traditions by snot nosed Bolsheviks, there is a rich harvest of hatred of these armed, trained killers for the progressive activists who spit on them. Soon, so these bloggers told me as I drank myself numb, tanks and polluting armored fighting vehicles will be idling in our streets, and parking in bicycle lanes, and discarding trash in the wrong recycling bin. Corporals will spit where once only gangbangers could spit, The clean air of Toronto will be filled with second hand smoke of warrior Canadian soldiery, and not the cannibis and crack smoke of oppressed people yearning for more and bigger handouts.

After discussing Stephen Harper staging an armed seizure of power, the conversation turned to names upon the mass arrest lists, the indignities to be heaped upon the arrested, and the effects on the economy of hiring and promoting people based on ability. I felt sick, and could only manage to pass out a few of my business cards and press upon the Satanic High Priest present that he hire me as a common laborer for his rock band, maybe someone to fluff the nipples of his groupies.

You lefties are doomed.  By this time next week, you be wearing pyjamas in a concentration camp.  No more tofu, no more chardonay, and no recycling.

xpd DustMyBroom, Mitchieville, StormyDaysofMarch

One Response to “Stop Harper!”

  1. dinosaur Says:

    I think this is a distinct possibility south of the border.

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