There’s an Elephant in the Room, and It Ain’t McCain

All right, Keyser isn’t exactly proud of the fact, but he voted twice for George W. Bush. Well, Penn (or is it Teller – Keyser can never keep them straight) notwithstanding, you can in fact vote against. So let’s be honest. Keyser voted once against Algor and the second time against Jean Fran├žois Kerry.

If Algore had managed to get five more votes in Florida (or whatever the necessary number), can you imagine what his reaction to the destruction of the World Trade Center would have been? He’d have sent a letter to the UN denouncing the hijackers for leaving such a big Carbon Foot Print and demanded a resolution deploring this situation and calling up on the perpetrators to buy a suitable Carbon Offset to compensate the world for the crime of contributing to Climate Change.

And if JFK II had won in 2004, he would have started an immediate withdrawal from Iraq, awarding the troops three purple hearts apiece plus a jar of Grey Poupon.

Along these lines, Keyser has to conclude from the failure of CNN to continue screeching about what a disaster Iraq is that it must have ceased some time ago to be a disaster, which presumably means that the “surge” worked, in a limited sense at least. Keyser remembers having CNN on while exercising in the morning something like two years ago, and all they could talk about was how many car bombs had gone off, with a ghoulish interest in body parts. Then they led the charge to argue that increasing the number of troops (the so-called “surge”) would just turn into some sort of Vietnam-esque quagmire, and we don’t have enough troops, and Petraeus and everyone is lying and it can’t conceivably work blahblahblah. Well, if it had in fact not worked, no doubt they’d be going on about it incessantly as another reason why we need the Great State Senator from Illinois to rescue us. As it turns out, there’s silence on Iraq, so things are presumably going okay, which naturally isn’t worth reporting on.

Which brings us back again to the monumental disaster of a president called George W. Bush, who will no doubt rank up there with such luminaries as James Buchanan and Ulysses S. Grant. He took a position of world-wide sympathy after 9/11 and invaded Iraq for no readily apparently reason (except perhaps to finish the job his father botched) and then proceeded to turn a pretty easy military victory into a monumental fuck-up of an occupation. And for a so-called Republican he never saw a spending bill he couldn’t sign (at least as long it was passed by a Republican Congress) and happily went on increasing regulations, programs and spending without caring much about how much borrowed cash this spending spree would cost. In effect, he’s a socialist who talks about God a lot. Unfortunately, God won’t pay the bills. Oh, and let’s not forget that this “compassion” also extended to increasing minority homeownership by forcing banks to give mortgages to people who couldn’t afford them. Since that was also the policy of Barney “Fat Toad” Frank and his irresponsible Democrat coconspirators, we can see what a traditional Republican policy that is. And Keyser doesn’t have to tell you how well it turned out.

So what’s the upshot? Does McCain want to have the president’s help in his campaign. “Gee, George, that’s great of you to offer, but I think I’m going to be campaigning in parts of the country that you don’t normally get to… Oh, I dunno, pretty much anywhere outside of Washington… Yeah, so if you could lie low for the next few months, that would probably be best. You know, keep doing pretty much what you’re doing now. Nothing.”

As for Barry O, there is some talk of “not another four years of Bush,” but as far as Keyser can tell, they’re not pushing it much. Why? Because it’s ingrained in everyone’s head anyway. Bush is undoubtedly the least popular president in decades (perhaps since LBJ in the spring of ‘68), In effect, Bush has destroyed the Republican brand name, which had made something of a comeback in the years after the Gingrich seizure of the House in 1994. (Remember the talk back then of a permanent Republican hold on the House? Pretty funny in retrospect.) First, he starts a war that may not be a running sore, but seems pointless and hardly worth the cost in money or blood. Then he hugely increases spending and abets the feckless Republican leadership in Congress in their pork barrel spending spree. The Democrats got the House back in 2006 and despite reneging on all of their disingenuous proposals for reform, seem set to increase their numbers.

So what’s the upshot? McCain is considered Bush II (or Keyser supposes that should be III) because he backs the war, and even though it turned out okay, it’s still thought to be a bad idea. And even though McCain is hardly a hardcore social conservative and has been a longtime opponent of earmarking and advocate of reining in the excesses of Fannie Mae, the voters want and change from Bush and that change has to be a Democrat, regardless of the fact that there’s no reason to think that The Great Kenyan has a clue what to do, and his socialist background makes it likely that whatever he does will just make things worse. But give the voters an option for Change and throw in a bit of groundless Hope, and McCain is toast.

George W. Bush: Asshole of the Decade and (unwillingly on both sides) Barry O’s best campaign supporter.

Sarah Palin in ‘12!

[Another delightful piece of bric-a-brac that's priced cheap, cheap I say, at the garage sale going on over at the Lair.]

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