Man Caught With His Testicles In A Jar

When Newscastle police spotted a man parked in a no-stopping zone, they thought they saw him doing something with his hands that indicated he might have a weapon. The man did indeed have a weapon in his hand, but not the kind the coppers expected:

Police drew their weapons when they suspected Keith Roy Weatherley, 46, was armed.

 Instead, they found him partially clothed with his genitals in a jar, a police statement said.

Weatherley saw the police and drove away, despite them flashing their lights.

 The chase lasted five to 10 minutes, with a top speed of just 20 kmh, before Weatherley was stopped at Centenary Drive, Newcastle. He refused to leave the car.

 Four officers used batons and capsicum spray to remove him.

 They found a 750-millilitre jar around his penis and noted that Weatherley attempted to continue “pleasuring himself in between bouts of wrestling”.

A search of his car uncovered pornography, a home-made sex aid, women’s stockings and a Jack Russell terrier.

This guy is one serious masturbater. As a matter of fact, he’s the kind of guy that takes the cake, and then sticks his cock in it. If they had a Fantasy Masturbater League, just like they have a Fantasy Football league, this guy would be Ladainian Tomlinson. The visual of this is outstanding. He’s got a face full of pepper spray and four officers beating him with clubs, yet he still manages to pull his pud in between the thrashings. I’m not so sure they should have even arrrested him, the guy’s kind of a hero really. As for the Jack Russell? Well that’s just weird.

And it all happened at Nobby beach. Go figure.

NEXT–Meg Ryan and Her Stomach Breasts

ALSO–Paul Krugman-Fucking Idiot

2 Responses to “Man Caught With His Testicles In A Jar”

  1. Fenris Badwulf Says:

    Sounds like a poster boy for some leftist cause. Can you name them all? Recycling? (the jar) Animal rights? (the dog) Immigrant rights? (some darn village people like to have jar-sex or dog-sex). Use your imagination

  2. dmorris Says:

    “A search of his car uncovered pornography, a home-made sex aid, women’s stockings and a Jack Russell terrier.”

    I suspect the Jack Russell terrier was the current incarnation of Satan, (the Demon, not the hockey player), and he was busily telling the unfortunate chap to jar his nuts.

    This is why we must be ever vigilant for signs of His maliferous presence.

    This is not without precedent, look at how he corrupted the Former Nice Guy, David Berkowitz!

    You kinda wonder if the old expression, “there’ll always be an England” is true anymore.

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