The Joy of Homelessness
Here in Ontario, the beating heart of Canada, there is an unexpected layer of snow this morning. Global Warming seems to rather silly to all those souls out shovelling. But they are not thinking about the scam that was Global Warming. No, on this morning they are wondering which homeless shelter they will be living in, now that the economy has up and died.
Cars do not seem all that bad this cold, Global not-Warming day. Turns out all that stuff about cars being evil, killing baby dolphins, making you fat, and lynching N-people, was, well, a bunch of lies. Cars are not all that bad. They, like the Apis bull of the ancient Egyptians, created jobs and wealth. And this is now apparent to those suckers now out shovelling out the snow that the Global Warming con artists promised would not come this morning.
Now that the tricksters have done their job, convincing you all that eating vegetarian grass was better than, well, food, now you have to eat grass. Nobody buying cars means nobody making cars, selling cars, fixing cars, putting gas in cars, financing cars, or making a wage doing something related to cars. And with those people not with money, well they don’t spend it on a whole bunch of stuff, like whatever it is you are dependent on. Yep, without a job, it is off to the homeless shelter. But the Global Warming people who told you that snow was never coming again, like this morning, have made sure their friends and relatives have good secure jobs staffing the homeless shelters. They will give you a small towel and a small bar of soap when you line up for the shower, and the bed you sleep in will reak of bedbug killing disinfectant. You got the economy they sold you. Great, is it not, comrade? And the CBC is blaring on the televison all night, and you get a free copy of the Toronto Star with your instant coffee and bran muffin in the morning!
That Leave it to Beaver culture does not seem so bad now, does it? Everyone in the Global Warming racket used to make fun of it. Having a job, and being a square was square, man. And that square, Beaver, all he wanted to do was grow up and have a car. He was a square, he scoffed at Global Warming, he did his homework, and he aspired to heteronormative sexual relations with women. And now, as the homeless shelter thinking proletariat (what a silly term we now realize!) shovels the snow that the Global Warming con artists told us would never come again, having a Leave it to Beaver world would be alot nicer than the cold socialist paradise they tricked us into having.
Remember the bad old days when the Christians ran things? It was terrible back then, you felt a little guilty when you did not go to church on Sunday. Well, now you cannot go to church on Sunday, because you need to line up to get into the homeless shelter. Things are so much better, except for the snow that should not be, and the economy that went away. But think of how happy the prancing dolphins will be!
Myself, as I type this in the public library, and watch the time so I can shuffle my way to the homeless shelter, I take refuge in the reparations for past injustices. Sure, as a homeless guy I have better access to health care. They bring a doctor and nurse right to the shelter on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I get free dental care, where before I had a job, a house, vacations, and control of the television channel I wanted to watch. I get to go to a free legal clinic, too. Which is good, because in keeping with my cultural traditions, I, like my illustrious activist ancestor William Wallace, am going to take one of the fatherless Bolshies who killed the Apis bull with me. As I push my thumb into his eyes (er, eye, because I do it one at a time), I think about how life was really much better being a square in a square economy. Having access to a safe injection sites, whores who can get complementary abortions, and condoms for buggery, was not really a good trade for a job, a home, and apple pie. But I am homeless, a victim, and the activist judiciary will shed a tear at the horrific Jack the Ripper adventures I intend to enjoy as a way of striking back for the cause of freedom. I will roam the snowy streets, hunting the con men of Global Warming, and take them, eye by eye. Something to look forward too.
I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this.
xpd Mitchieville, DustMyBroom
