Michael Bolton Is Homeless–Nicollette Sheridan Is A Bitch

Nicollette Sheridan made it official that she and Michael Bolton are history, by throwing him out of her house in Los Angeles, rendering him apparently *homeless*:

“Michael is basically homeless. He and Nicolette split the Los Angeles house, but she wants to stay there and not have him anywhere near it.

“She also doesn’t particularly want to pay him for his half and thinks he should just give the house to her.

“Michael’s kind of screwed. He pulled up his longtime roots in Connecticut to live with her, and now she booted him. He’s got nowhere to go.”

I’ve heard conflicting stories about these two–some folks tell me that Nicollette is a real bitch, while other folks tell me Michael Bolton is a real bastard. I like to believe both sides are true.

I can hardly believe that someone as talented as Michael Bolton is actually homeless. I feel terrible for him. You would think that Bolton would have been wise to put a little money aside, maybe in a jar or something, from those 50 million albums he sold during the 80’s. My mom use to say, “Son, put some money away for a rainy day.” It’s too bad Michael’s mom didn’t have the same common sense my mom did, maybe had Michael heard those words, he wouldn’t be sleeping in a dumpster and eating shit sandwiches right now.

Perhaps we can help Michael. I think I have an idea. No, I definitely have an idea. Let’s work together and raise enough money to get the first and last months rent so Michael Bolton can get a decent apartment to stay in. I’m sure if the shoe was on the other foot, Michael would do it for us.

All you need to do is click on the PayPal icon I have set up on the right side of the page you are reading. I figure if we can raise $3000.00, we can hook Michael up with some suitable living conditions. Just make a *love offering* of $100.00, $250.00, or higher, and we can get Michael back on his feet. If we raise more than $3000.00, I’ll get some gift certificates at some local grocery store so Michael can have some good food to eat. He needs to keep his strength up.

With a little love, and a lot of money, we can resurrect Michael Bolton and his shitty singing career. Will you help The Mayor help Michael Bolton? C’mon, let’s make a difference in a baby boomers life.

7 Responses to “Michael Bolton Is Homeless–Nicollette Sheridan Is A Bitch”

  1. Richard Evans Says:

    I like Michael Bolton. The veins in his forehead scare children. That’s a good thing. I hereby pledge any and all future profits of any and all future gigolo monies received toward helping Michael find a new home.

  2. Chris Says:

    And yet ANOTHER example of why Chris has stayed single, financially solvent, and with a roof over his head.

    Even if Bolton is a prick, I’d still take his side over the mummified has-been next to him in the picture.

    Bros before Hos.

  3. Steve B Says:

    Come on. The dude is Michael Bolton. He could probably have his pick o’ betties. Why would he shack up with the blong Crypt Keeper? Ewww.

  4. River Rat Says:

    Fuck Michael.

  5. Godless Commie Says:

    If nothing else, Michael can get a job as an air-raid siren. Not much call for that sort of thing, still ….

  6. The Mayor Says:

    Haters, please…this isn’t Carrot Top we’re talking about here–it’s Michael Bolton!

  7. OMMAG Says:

    Hmmmmm two truths in one post and I can’t find a reason to give a crap!

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