Horrors of Unbridled Kapitalizm: One-Legged Edition

We have had occasion in the past to animadvert upon the travails of Sir Paul McBeattle’s ex-wife, the one-legged sex kitten Heather Mills, but there were no sense at the time of the foul malignancy that lay just beneath the surface of her scantily clad snap shots. It turns out that Heather is an “employer” who makes Ebenezer Scrooge look like the tooth fairy. Never since the horrific employment scheme concocted by Fritz Sauckel and Albert Speer has Europe seen such an outrage. Indeed, the ghost of slave-driving King Leopold of Belgium was said to have flinched upon reading of this atrocity. Be forewarned that this is not for the faint of heart:

Heather Mills is being taken to court by her nanny over allegations of sex discrimination and intimidation.

Sara Trumble claims Heather was ordered to go above and beyond her role as Beatrice’s nanny.

She has complained she was made to work as late as midnight, blow-dry Heather’s hair and even give the former model naked spray tans.

A constructive dismissal claim was lodged with an employment tribunal last week.

The two sides have 28 days to come to a negotiated settlement or face airing their dispute in open court.

Sara, 24, says she was only supposed to look after Beatrice, now aged five, Heather’s daughter with ex-husband Sir Paul McCartney.

But she claims her job was altered when she went back to work after taking maternity leave earlier this year.

She resigned in September and, after an argument with Heather, refused to work her notice.

A spokesman for Heather said yesterday: “This claim will be vigorously defended.”

Heather, 40, is expected to argue that Sara was a housekeeper as well as a nanny, and that she bought her a car, took her on holidays and allowed her to work flexi-time after she became a mum.

To think that such barbarities can still take place in this day and age. Makes you wonder about the possibility of reforming the evil that lurks within the human heart. Forced to give naked spray tans to millionairess amputees. What would Upton Sinclair have made of that!

Oh, and a tangential fun fact. Fritz Sauckel was delegated by Hitler the task of rounding up workers and shipping them to Germany, where they worked in terrible conditions for the economic system run by Albert Speer. Sauckel was of lower-class background and wasn’t very well spoken. Speer, on the other hand, was an educated man of upper-middle class origins and made a contrived apology and defense (“I had no idea!”). This was a rather odd notion to accept from a man who was actually in charge of “employing” the labor of concentration camp inmates. But the judges at Nuremberg hanged Sauckel for providing the abused labors and gave Speer only twenty years’ imprisonment for the actual abuse. No doubt they felt that Sauckel was declassé, but Speer was one of their own. Plus ça change, plus c’est la même chose!

[This testimony was given in the docket over at Keyser's Lair.]

2 Responses to “Horrors of Unbridled Kapitalizm: One-Legged Edition”

  1. cudgel Says:

    Mills hasn’t got a leg to stand on…the nanny wins.

  2. Chris Says:

    I’d volunteer for the job of naked spray tans, at least until Mills’ boobs devolve to boob-knees.

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