Keyser Falsely Accused (and Mitch’s Existence Impugned)!

The on-going theater of the absurd known as “Caruso and Me and Everyone Else on the Planet” gets more and more ridiculous. “The Stalker Chronicles of Vixen hater and Caruso defender Sara has posted a lot about Keyser’s posts about>this situation, and has managed to fuck everything up (and insult Keyser and, implicitly, The Mayor into the bargain). First, in a post with some other crap in it we get this:

Yesterday, the David Caruso feeds updated with a new blogger who had the misfortune to stumble upon one of Heidemarie Schnitzer’s four hate blogs devoted to disparaging David Caruso. Unlike the usual feed results seen on a daily basis that promote Jim Carrey’s Caruso imitation or the overused one-liner videos, KeyserSoze’s Lair noted that Schnitzer’s blog had published 61 posts in December alone. Well, what else are a fugitive Austrian stalker and her aliases supposed to do in a Tijuana spider hole?

As is standard operating procedure for Schnitzer, she beat a path to The Lair’s comment section gushing, not to mention lying, that she had tried to find something positive to post about David Caruso. Next Dojo weighed in warning Keyser who and more importantly what he was dealing with. I too notified Keyser to watch his traffic stats especially those coming in from a certain Tijuana i.p. address.

Then BOOM, the David Caruso feeds again updated with another blogger weighing in on Keyser’s observations. This new blogger hailed from a site called Mitchieville and oddly enough sounded a lot like Keyser. As it turns out The Lair and Mitchieville are related. Keyser writes both of them.

For the last twenty-four hours, the comment sections of both sites have been overrun by Schnitzer and Caruso fans alike with Keyser and what I suspect are some pseudonyms, weighing in. Now, Keyser has at least 3 posts on each site devoted to what he is referring to as the Caruso crisis.

Schnitzer even sent Keyser her very favorite TVBarn article that she apparently has never translated well enough to understand that it outs her and who she really is. So she sent Keyser selective portions of the article she felt supported her case. What case? Criminally stalking and threatening to murder three people? Posting pornography about Caruso’s then two-year old toddler?

Keyser is being a very good sport thus far, but he seems to have fallen for Schnitzer’s lies stating that Schnitzer “seems pleasant enough”. His comment sections remain open so take a look at these sites listed below and post a comment. Watch “Vixen” as she is calling herself find a few more friends, uh pseudonyms from Tijuana, to support her mentally unbalanced obsession with David Caruso and any site that mentions his name.

Where to start, where to start? Keyser started the whole thing after a totally innocuous posting about the website “Caruso and Me” (which he found by accident while googling for a South Park episode entitled “Douchebag of the Universe,” which generated this post). This much is true enough. But Sara then says, “As it turns out The Lair and Mitchieville are related. Keyser writes both of them.” This is a flat out falsehood. Mitchieville is an entirely separate site on which Keyser was invited to post. When the mood strikes, Keyser crossposts his own postings from the Lair verbatim, the only difference being a jocular little tag at the bottom (see below) indicating that the post came from the Lair (and you’ll never find the same at the Lair, as everything there is original: Everything). (And as a Mitchieville aside, this post was of course originally written for posting over at the Lair, and while Keyser has tried to modify appropriately any references to “here” and the like that signify the Lair, there may remain one or two that Keyser overlooked in his righteous anger.)

Presumably, Sara caused herself this problem by jumping to an unwarranted conclusion. In a private email, she asked Keyser, “So are you associated with the Mitchieville Blog in some way?” to which he responded straightforwardly enough, “Of course. That’s how it wound up over there.” She seems to have connected a number of dots that weren’t there.

Keyser should be so lucky to have the traffic Mitchieville gets. Keyser had read that blog for years before starting his own last February, and he felt honored to have been asked a few months ago to post there. Keyser is most certainly not Mitch (that is, the guy who runs Mitchieville). For one thing, Keyser still has his appendix, and he has no daughter. And for another, it would be called Keyserville if it were his, would it not? Or at the very least, Mitchieville would be the place where you have to watch out because the canary died, but you don’t. QED

Next, we have the statement “…with Keyser and what I suspect are some pseudonyms, weighing in.” Sara’s entitled to suspect whatever in the fuck she pleases, but her suspicions should rest on some evidence. This is pure and unadulterated bullshit. Keyser is Keyser and does not play stupid games like talking to himself using a pseudonym. One’s enough!

As if this weren’t enough erroneous logic, we have another groundless and totally false assertion. “Schnitzer even sent Keyser her very favorite TVBarn article that she apparently has never translated well enough to understand that it outs her and who she really is. So she sent Keyser selective portions of the article she felt supported her case. What case? Criminally stalking and threatening to murder three people? Posting pornography about Caruso’s then two-year old toddler?” No, genius, this piece of information (cited in>this post) did not come to Keyser from Vixen or Heidimarie or anyone else. Well, that’s not exactly true. See, there’s this thing called “google.” It’s what they call a “search engine.” The way it works is you stick in some words and it gives you links to websites relevant to the search items. As it happens, Keyser has a doctorate from Harvard, but even a number of people with lesser qualifications have managed to master this piece of cutting-edge technology. Write in something like “heidimarie schnitzer sara kanne caruso” and see what you get.

And as if one calumnious posting about Keyser weren’t enough, we get a second one!

Banned by Digg for using seven different aliases and with her beloved Vipix now defunct and TVGuide’s Fan Forums recent closure due to her manipulations, machinations and multiple pseudonyms, Heidemarie Schnitzer has gone into a tailspin and has reinvented herself on Mitchieville. She is now engaging in an ongoing war of words with me, Sara. As is par for the course Heidemarie Schnitzer, David Caruso’s fugitive Austrian stalker, hasn’t bothered to respond to facts about her criminal flight to avoid prosecution in Austria.

Instead, she has resorted to her usual juvenile attacks, standard operating procedure whenever Schnitzer finds herself backed into that corner occupied by the truth. She has even stolen Dojo’s expression “sweet cheeks” claiming it as her own much as she did with Lindy’s “Icon of Idiocy.” Nothing original can or will ever emanate from the brain of the mentally unbalanced Schnitzer who is being compared to Margaret Mary Ray, David Letterman’s former stalker. She’s even accusing me of being her, another one of her strategic defense mechanisms she turns to whenever she’s cornered.

Like she did in the summer of 2007 when she overran Rob Steiner’s Moblog, Schnitzer has moved into Mitchieville for the long haul. As we write, Keyser who less than 24 hours ago stated in a private e-mail to me: “Rest assured that the Lair is an open forum, and you and anyone else are welcome to come visit and post if you like. Whoever wants the last word in the comments is welcome to it” has now apparently had a change of heart. Can we blame him? Comments are now being moderated on Mitchieville and I suspect Keyser will eventually be forced to close them down. He’s in good company. Time Magazine’s highest rated blog of 2008, Ace of Spades HQ, was compelled to do likewise nearly a year ago when Schnitzer assaulted his comments section.

Serious bloggers who cross Schnitzer’s line and mention the words “David Caruso” neither want nor need the negative publicity that this woman generates when she inundates a blog with negative comments designed to defame and libel CSI Miami’s star. If Mitchieville is re-thinking his position, we applaud him. He won’t be the first and until Schnitzer is captured by Mexican authorities, he won’t be the last blogger to be assailed by this extremely sick woman.

Once again, Sara can’t keep her facts straight. Keyser received a personal email from “Sara Kanne” (make of that what you will), in which she said inter alia, “Schnitzer moves in and spams the comment sections always attempting to get the last word. Most bloggers eventually have to close down their comments to get rid of her. It’s kinda like throwing the baby out with the bath water. You have a very real hater on your hands. This woman has published editorials supporting Josef Fritzl, the Austrian monster who locked his daughter in the basement for 24 years and raped her over and over.” Keyser replied to this, “Keyser is grateful for the information. Rest assured that the Lair is an open forum, and you and anyone else are welcome to come visit and post if you like. Whoever wants the last word in the comments is welcome to it.” You will note (as Sara apparently did not) that the Lair is said to be open, but she refers to a “change of heart” on the basis of Mitchieville having moderation for its comments. That may well be true, but of course Mitchieville is not the Lair, and Keyser has nothing to do with the moderation policy over there!

Now Keyser has no idea who in fact any of these people are. Maybe Vixen is some renegade Austrian. Maybe Sara is. Maybe they are the same person. Maybe both of them or neither of them are Heidmarie. But what “Sara” says about Vixen being a nuisance simply isn’t true as far as the Lair is concerned. She’s never said anything one way or the other about the accusations, but in fact she hasn’t said anything about that hack Caruso at all. She’s been nothing but pleasant on the Lair (an assessment noted with disdain in the comments to one of those posts on the Stalker website). Vixen is welcome (along with anybody else) to comment at the Lair in any way that she wishes (and Keyser has no grounds for complaint about her, which is more than can be said about a certain other commenter).

In a comment on the Lair post “Caruso and Heidimarie and Me and Dojo,” Sara concludes by saying, “You seem like a smart guy, but where this woman is concerned, naive comes to mind.” Maybe to your mind, Sara, but not to Keyser’s. Keyser has entirely reserved judgment about a matter for which he has no verifiable evidence to assess the accusations one way or the other. (Did Heidimarie Schnitzer do the things alleged? Is she the person in Tijuana? Is Vixen Schnitzer? Is Vixen really in Tijuana? Who are all these people showing up on the Lair and attacking Vixen? How the hell is Keyser supposed to know?) Keyser simply deals with visitors to the Lair as they present themselves. Vixen has been civil and has said nothing out of line. Sara, on the other hand, has reached all sorts of false conclusions about Keyser and Mitchieville on the basis of misunderstood evidence and incorrect inferences, and gone so far as to publicize them on her own site without the decency to ask Keyser the least question about her (as it turns out, totally wrong-headed) suspicions. And Vixen has never insulted Keyser (on his own blog at that!). If this is the sort of reasoning that rests behind the case against Vixen, it doesn’t seem as if it would get much of a hearing in a court of law, does it?

[In this libel case, judgment was given against the defendant in the Old Bailey over at Keyser's Lair.]

21 Responses to “Keyser Falsely Accused (and Mitch’s Existence Impugned)!”

  1. sarakanne Says:

    Sorry for the error Keyser. I wrongly concluded from your e-mail that Keyser’s Lair and Mitchieville were one and the same. We all make mistakes as you have in mischaracterizing Heidemarie Schnitzer as “civilized” and “pleasant enough.” You ARE being naive and yes I am afraid that you have been hoodwinked.

    “How the hell is Keyser supposed to know” you ask. You can read your site stats right? When was the last time one of my posts came in from Tijuana? And how many posts have you had from the Tijuana i.p. How many times do I need to tell you that you are dealing with a nutjob and you my friend are simply her latest victim.

    Talk about connecting the dots–you have failed miserably where Schnitzer is concerned and she’s sitting back in her Tijuana spider hole having a good laugh at this whole mess.

    You have also been sent several links to reliable news sources that covered this story about Schnitzer. No, they don’t publish her name because Austrian privacy laws prevent them from doing so prior to conviction. And since most of the news about Schnitzer originates from Austria, well need I say more.

    She’s been on her very best behavior with you because she has either been banned from so many sites recently i.e. Digg or the sites have simply closed down due to massive amounts of complaints about her manipulations i.e., TVGuide’s Fan Forums. This mentally unbalanced woman used seven different names on Digg to manipulate that site before they banned her.

    And of course you don’t know who is who. It Schniter’s MO to cast doubt. I will tell you this with certainty: I have never been sued by Heidemarie Schnitzer and I never will be. She knows all of this is true. You should have seen her denials when I located and published her photo on my site. Schnitzer’s greatest fear is that eight by four cell that awaits her in Austria, not me.

    And Keyser let me ask you this: Why would two completely different people devote entire blogs to exposing Schnitzer and her crimes if none of this was true? Believe me, I have better things to do with my life, but I just happen to think it’s wrong to threaten to murder three people and flee to another country to avoid being prosecuted on those charges.

    You certainly are entitled to your own opinion, but accusing me of being Heidemarie Schnitzer is wholly untrue and I don’t take too kindly to it. Much like your reaction to my mistake about The Lair and Mitchieville.

    At least I will admit it when I am wrong. Your assessment of Heidemarie Schnitzer IS wrong and you have absolutely no idea who and what you are dealing with because she has managed to dupe you. I will await your apology which if and when it comes, will probably be after Schnitzer is finally captured. And she will be.

  2. sarakanne Says:

    And to further drive home the point I have been trying to make all along, please see Dojo’s excellent assessment:

  3. The Mayor Says:

    Mitchieville doesn’t moderate comments–we kill spam, but we don’t moderate actual humanoids.

    BTW–further to a previous post, ACE HQ gets about 50k hits a day.

  4. Vixen Says:

    Thnk you, Mayor!

    Sweetcheeks, better check facts again before you get caught lying again.
    Remains the question how believable the rest of what you say is.

  5. Vixen Says:

    Thank you, Mayor!

    Sweetcheeks, better check facts before you get caught lying again.Remains the question how believable the rest of what you say is.

    To make a long story short – sars has failed to deliver proof that any of her allegations are true. Everybody can say things – if there are no hard evidence to go with those things – those things are just opinions. Neitehr saras nor dojos blogs are anything but opinions, they are hardly proof.

  6. Cupcake Says:

    Vixie girl,those old women must have rader on you,following you everywhere,everyone by now know they have their panties in a bunch.(GIGGLES)

  7. sarakanne Says:

    The question remains: why is Vixen so interested in this story? This story has gotten quite a bit of attention, but Vixen is the only who is taking exception with the facts and attempting to discredit Sara and Dojo who have openly exposed her for who and what she really is. Hmmmmmmmmmm.

    The answer: because Vixen IS Heidemarie Schnitzer, an indicted celebrity stalker who sent David Caruso 100s of letters demanding an autograph, took a transatlantic flight from Austria to Miami and stalked the actor to a local restaurant, sexually propositioned him, was summarily rejected and went off the deep end and threatened to kill him and his family. These are facts and a matter of public record. Both German and English papers have reported them.

    Isn’t it odd that there has not been one other person whose interest rises to the level of Vixen who has hit this site and The Lair multiple times each day from a Tijuana ip address. Vixen (Heidemarie Schnitzer) has already hit The Stalker Chronicles from her Tijuana ip over 10 times today alone.

    Schnitzer has pulled this exact same stunt on other blogs so many times that her presence is easily recognized. And she won’t leave until she thinks she has gotten the last word here on Mitchieville. That is, unless the blog owner wisely closes the comment section like so many other bloggers have been forced to do to get rid of her i.e. Aaron Barnhart, Rob Steiner, Ace and Digg. Schnitzer spammed Ace of Spades HQ’s site for nearly 6 months.

  8. Vixen Says:

    The question remains: why has sara to make up things???Hmmmmm .More importantly: can Sara prove all her allegations?

    The answer is simple: She can’t.
    And I doubt anyone will believe anything she says after you have been publicly caught lying. Ouch.

    All she has are assumptions and guesses and fabrications- nothing more or less.

    There is no need to close anything down (a decision that rests with the BLOGOWNER ALONE) since Schnitzer isn’t posting here.

    Sara LOST again.

  9. Vixen Says:

    LOL. CUPCAKE. We should start a game: find the lies and fabrications in saras posts. The one who finds the most will get a price. LOL.

  10. Cupcake Says:

    I got $100.00 cyber bucks..the old hag had no right to attack Jeannie/myself because we call you our friend,now the old s**t-head is over here attacking “KEYSER” I know he don’t need any help,I just want to talk nasty to the nitwit fool..maybe she didn’t get poked for the holidays..oops..sorry Keyser,but thats the way old women act when they need poking..(GIGGLES)

  11. Vixen Says:

    sara’s clearly losing it.

  12. sarakanne Says:

    Vixen IS Heidemarie Schnitzer. She has been posting here and on The Lair all along and will continue to do so until she’s able to get the last word. See the following link to a German blog where Schnitzer posts as “Anna:”

    The only person lying is Heidemarie Schnitzer who remains at large hiding out in Mexico. Schintzer is thought to be armed and dangerous. If anyone sees this woman, please do not attempt to apprehend her yourself. Contact the U.S. Border Patrol at 1-800-232-5378 , the FBI at (310) 477-6565 or Austria’s Bundeskriminalamt at +43-(0)1-531 26-0.

  13. Vixen Says:

    really sweetcheeks?
    Based upon what? Your hallucinations? No proof no game.
    I and everyone posting here hasn’t seen Heidemarie Schnitzer posting here EVER. And that’s a fact.

    In short – the things you say, sweetcheeks, are not to be believed- after all you have been caught lying yesterday, haven’t you? One just has to read the article above.

    You lost, sweetcheeks. BIG TIME.

  14. sarakanne Says:

    Check out Heidemarie Schnitzer uses three different names: QB2Die4, DavidCaruso and DiamondsandHearts to promote her anti-David Caruso propaganda on the David Caruso Revealed page.

    I know “Vixen” is claiming that she’s not Schnitzer, but something tells me she will definitely post a response. Why she cares so much remains to be seen.

  15. Vixen Says:

    I know “sara” is claiming that she’s not Schnitzer. Why she cares so much remains to be seen.LOL

  16. Chris Taylor Says:

    Okay this is getting ridiculous.

    First of all, this is the internet, where surely you both realise that substantive fact can not be measured by blog comments alone. Provide hyperlinks to back up these accusations of sock puppetry, stalking and so on. Definitively link stalker’s address with IP of commenter, otherwise this whole argument is just retarded and lame.

    In the absence of real evidence I hereby move that the Mayor should start amending their comments to be as humourous and personally degrading as he sees fit, and that the rest of us shall place bets on which competitor breaks down and cries first.

    I wager 50 quatloos on the newcomer.

  17. Vixen Says:

    And before I forget it – I know “sara” is claiming that I’m Schnitzer (which I’m not.) Why she cares so much remains to be seen.LOL
    Especially after she has been caught lying about Keyser and the Major (see article above).

  18. Cupcake Says:

    Have never backed down from the truth…Now Sara if you are so sure of the lies you are spreading,why haven’t at least one/two off these agencies interested in your helpful information.Maybe you can enlist David Caruso help,he has money for his many tarts and trips to Rome/Paris..go where people give a s**t,we come here to enjoy “KEYSER”….nuff said..go way…I come here to be entertain…not to listen at your “CRAP”

  19. Cupcake Says:

    O.K. Chris I win pay up…I am the new kid on the block,they haven’t beaten us yet…

  20. Old Guy Says:

    Mayor, what the hell are all these people rattling about? The cast is so confused now I can’t keep them straight and you’re talkin’ to a guy who once re-strung his own venetian blinds. Perhaps Fenris could use a few more telemarketers (after suitable training of course). Lets just see how this kerfuffle stands up against less important things in the news like the Israeli bombing runs on Gaza, the tension between India & Pakistan, what President-Elect Obama will do to change the world opinion of the U.S., or the latest activities of the Canadian HRC’s, shall we?

  21. dmorris Says:

    All this fucking space used up over the Wrong Caruso! For crissakes no one in their right goddamned mind cares a whit about the twit!

    Go wrap yourself in dynamite and do something useful!

    This once was a renowned Humour Site, finished in the top five in the Blog Awards.

    Been downhill ever since, and this is what the bottom looks like.

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