PETA Wants To Rename Fish

In a bid to convince people that eating fish is bad, PETA has started a campaign in which the word fish will be banned, only to be replaced by the words Sea Kittens. This is what’s behind their reasoning:

“Nobody would hurt a sea kitten!” the group says on its website.

“People don’t seem to like fish.

“We’re going to start by retiring the old name for good.

“When your name can also be used as a verb that means driving a hook through your head, it’s time for a serious image makeover.”

Now that fish are named sea kittens, it kind of messes up a great recipe I have for baked herb stuffed salmon. Maybe it’s possible to replace fish with kittens, let’s give ‘er a whirl:


  • Sea salt and freshly ground black pepper
  • Extra-virgin olive oil
  • 2 medium kitten fillets, about 2 1/2 pounds (1.1 kilograms) skin on, scaled and pinboned
  • 2 lemons
  • Bunch fresh marjoram
  • Bunch fresh dill
  • Bunch fresh basil
  • Handful stoned black olives
  • Bunch flat-leaf parsley


Preheat the oven to 400 degrees F (200 degrees C/gas 6).

Cut 5 lengths of string and lay them out on the work surface next to each another, leaving gaps in between. Sprinkle salt and pepper over the work surface, and drizzle with olive oil. Lay 1 kitten fillet, skin side down, on top. Sprinkle salt and pepper over the kitten, then, using a fine grater, grate the zest of 1 lemon over the top. On top of that lay the marjoram, dill, and basil, broken up, and the olives.

Season the flesh side of the other kitten fillet with salt and pepper, and grate over the second lemon. Place 1 kitten fillet on top of the other, thin end to thick, then tie them together and trim the string. Put the kitten parcel on an oiled baking tray, and scatter over any remaining bits of herb. Thinly slice the 2 lemons and place on top of and round the kitten. Drizzle with olive oil, then roughly chop the parsley and sprinkle over the top.

Bake in the preheated oven for about 20 minutes.

I suggest tabbies or Russian Blue cats, Persians and calico’s are too tough, plus they taste like chicken.

Thank you, PETA!

3 Responses to “PETA Wants To Rename Fish”

  1. dmorris Says:

    Well, that recipe worked just fine! No matter what you call it ,”if it walks like a fish, quacks like a fish,smells like a fish, it’s probably a fish”.

    Not a f***ing “sea kitten! Oh, yeah, does the “Wunder Boner” work with sea kittens?

    btw, just WHAT does PETA allow us to eat, meat’s out, now FISH! Are they all lunatic closet vegetarians?

  2. Rocky Says:

    Driving a hook through your head…

    Hmm, do you think I can land a giant swordfish using a PETArd as bait?

  3. Marginalized Action Dinosaur » PETA likes Sea Kittens, but what are they going to do for the seals? Says:

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