It’s Gabrielle Carteris’s Birthday

I’m sure had you known that today was Gabriele Carteris’s birthday, you would have baked her a cake. I’m sure if Gabriele Carteris’s knew you baked her a cake, she would have eaten the whole thing in one sitting. And then eaten the fork. And then eaten you.

Who is this Gabriele Carteris creature of whom I speak? She is no other than the guy girl that played Andrea Zuckerman on 90210 way back in 1990. I’m fairly sure that Gabriele was introduced to the show to make Tori Spelling look good. And that aint no easy feat. Yet Gabriele pulled it off in splendid fashion.

Today is Gabriele’s 48th birthday, which means that back in 1980 she was 30. So, she was playing a 17 year old at the time. She never did quite pull that off, especially with her crows feet, saggy ass, and wrinkly hands.

What is she doing nowadays, you ask? How the hell do I know, do I look like a guy that follows the careers of talentless, butt-ugly broads?

Anyway, happy birthday, you hag, may you live to be a million years old.

**Is it just me or is this chick morphing into Anne Murray?

6 Responses to “It’s Gabrielle Carteris’s Birthday”

  1. Two Dogs Says:

    No clue who this person is. Happy Birthday, mysterious un-person!

  2. Rocky Says:

    Probably the most annoying aspect of her was when they pronounced her name “On-DRAY-uh” like it was so chic. The fact that she looked like Bob Saget was pretty creepy, too.

  3. The Mayor Says:

    haha–Bob Saget, that’s great.

    Two Dogs–she may be a un-person to you, but she’ll always be the ugly broad with the fat ass to me.

  4. Francesca Says:

    Wow, Could it be? I’ve found some people who hate “Ohnndrea” more than me! Which is why it sooo pains me to admit that in that hat pic, by early 90s stds., she actually doesn’t look that ugly or insufferable. Sorry. Never thought I would say that.

  5. Francesca Says:

    “Today is Gabriele’s 48th birthday, which means that back in 1980 she was 30. So, she was playing a 17 year old at the time. She never did quite pull that off, especially with her crows feet, saggy ass, and wrinkly hands.”

    I just couldn’t get past the face like an octogenarian troll’s ass, or the deep fried hair.

    Or the personality, which, impossible as it sounds, was much more annoying than her face. What a whiny self-righteous know it all-yeck.

  6. The Mayor Says:

    If you got any more bitter towards her, I’d give you free access to write on this site.

    Good job.

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