Language Lessons


As part of our pursuit to bring you linguistic excellence, I present to you another edition of Language Lessons.

For those of you not familiar with this segment, I will translate a useful phrase or sentence that will help you in your travels abroad. On your next trip overseas, or perhaps to your local inner-city, you will find that having these phrases memorized – or at your fingertips, if you will – is nothing short of a Godsend.

The sentence I am about to give you will help you if you need to speak with medical personnel. If you’re in a hospital or a doctors office, or perhaps even a medical clinic, this popular sentence will get you the medical attention you need. I have found in the past it’s an indispensable sentence to memorize, and I’m sure you’ll use it over and over again in every country you visit. And here it is:

“If this itching doesn’t stop, I am going to start wasting hostages.”

Chinese: 如果發痒的這不停止,我開始浪費人質

Italian: Se questo che itching non si arresta, sto andando cominciare sprecare gli ostaggi

Greek: Εάν αυτό το να φαγουρίσει δεν σταματά, πρόκειται να αρχίσω τους ομήρους

German: Wenn itching dieses nicht stoppt, werde ich Geiseln, zu vergeuden beginnen

Spanish: Si esto que pica no para, voy a comenzar a perder a rehenes

The Mayor notices that the word *itching* doesn’t translate in every language. In case the medical professional doesn’t understand what you’re saying, I suggest you make the “scratchy scratchy” motion. It should drive the point home rather well. But be careful not to over-act, you could be quarantined with people that have polio and the likes.

4 Responses to “Language Lessons”

  1. paul mitchell Says:

    Dude, I am itching right now. I’VE GOT POLIO?!?!?!?!

  2. The Mayor Says:

    Yes,PM, I’ve got a HUGE case of the itchy polio right now. Take some Anacin. It’s good for what ails ya.

  3. Andy Says:

    I’ve got some crutches you can have Paul.

  4. dmorris Says:

    You’re in good company,Paul, FDR had polio.

    So did my friend Johnny Wright.

    Though he never got to be President.

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