Women’s Feet Are Getting Bigger
That according to research conducted at Debenhams, which I believe is a shoe retailer in Britain. Medical experts believe it is due to the obesity epidemic (not at all like the swine flu epidemic, as the obesity epidemic is supposedly real), where high-density foods eaten during puberty stimulates the growth hormone. Anyway, enough of the sexy talk, let’s hear what some pointy-headed geeks had to say about this:
The research from Debenhams found that in 2009, ladies’ size nines sales increased by 23 per cent, while sales of size sixes jumped by 17 per cent.
The largest shoe it currently stocks as standard is a nine, but they are now considering stocking size 10 on a regular basis.
Ed Watson, from the department store chain said: “Big shoes, especially heeled styles, have to be made much stronger with sturdier load-bearing points, able to cope with greater levels of stress and wear.
Michael Paynton, British Chiropody and Podiatry Association chairman, told The Daily Mail: “I have been in practice 42 years and in that time standard foot sizes have changed dramatically. At one time it would have been difficult for a woman to get a size 6 shoe. Now that is the norm.
“It’s part of the process of evolution, as generally people are getting bigger and taller. We are seeing it clinically in both men and women as modern diets and lifestyle change.
So the obesity epidemic might not be the sole reason (haha) for larger footed British women, but one of many reasons why British women have to wear shoe boxes in order to fit their gigantic hooves.
I know that many specialists would like us to believe that we are getting bigger because we are eating worse than we were in the”olden days”, but the truth is we are eating much better now than we did in the “olden days”. Hence, that’s why we have a life-span that’s greater than 43 years old, like it was in the “olden days”. You see, the “olden days” were shit.
True, we are a gluttonous society, but over-consumption sure beats the hell out of not knowing where your next meal is coming from. I’d rather have too much than not enough. I’d rather have a bloated tummy from eating like a pig than being so hungry that I start to worry about the vultures flying over my head. We are taller, bigger, stronger, and live way longer than our grandparents did. As little as 40 years ago, if you had a sliver in your pinkie finger, the chances of you not seeing your next Birthday were about 50/50. Nowadays, if your heart stops ticking, they’ll just replace it with the heart from a hyena and you’ll be playing volleyball by the weekend. Or something like that.
So what if British women have bigger feet, it’ll just match their bigger heads, bigger hands, and bigger asses. And that’s all I have to say about that.
If I had to rate this post, with 10 being the best and 0 being the worst, I’d give it a 7 based solely on that crack about having your heart replaced with a hyena’s. That was worth the price of admission right there. Haters.
January 11th, 2010 at 3:52 pm
About a year ago,I read an article,also from Britain,that women’s breasts were becoming much larger on the average.
I found that article MUCH more interesting than this one, which could only be of interest to shoe salesmen,podiatrists, and fetishists.
January 11th, 2010 at 4:21 pm
I believe I posted about that. I may have titled it, “Rule Brittania!”
You’re right, the breastisis post was much more interesting, but I promise that my next post will be exhilerating.
January 11th, 2010 at 4:27 pm
I’d give this post an 8.5, but not for the same reason, Mr. Mayor. I think the “sole reason” crack, and the “wearing shoe boxes on their hooves” deal pushed it over the rest of the competition.
I actually knew an old lady with dementia who would put shoe boxes on her feet when she went to pull weeds from the concrete driveway. Bless her heart. Her daughter (a friend of ours) finally put her in a home. She’s dead now. Been dead a loooong time. In fact, her son-in-law is in the hospital right now. Dying. Yep…dying just like his Mother-in-law did. Yep…
Okay…what was I talking about? Oh yeah, considering Don’s comment, wouldn’t you love to see the top side of the chick that’s gonna wear the one in the picture?
January 11th, 2010 at 9:37 pm
I think the extra large hooves of the british women may only be a sign of their supreme greediness. They’re not content to simply be known as having “the british teeth” that ruddy complexion or that hair like string hanging straight from their scalps, not to mention “her Royal dowdy-ness” no, no I say.. Now they’ve moved on to corner the market in sturdiness. What’s their collective problem? Such an ugly people, that island race. I’m thankful you’ve mentioned the british gal’s big ass. It’s more than I can bear to witness.
bunch of B+ cows.
January 12th, 2010 at 10:52 pm
Oi marc in calgary! Bear in mind that some of us British women are reading this very blog! *runs off in disgust on excessively large hooves*
January 13th, 2010 at 12:37 am
Hey, what’s with those dainty, sexy footprints heading up Courtenay Place all of a sudden?