Obama Is In Great Shape – For A Smoker & A Drunk


Last week, Barack Obama had his first medical examination since becoming President, and the results show he’s as healthy as a horse.  A cigarette smoking, drunken horse:

His health was described as excellent and he does not have to return for another medical until 2012. Obama, who is 48, has 20-20 vision, weighs 179 lbs in his shoes and clothes, and requires little medication.

And his clothes and shoes account for about 8 lbs, so he’s really around 170 lbs soaking wet. He’s also 6′2″ tall. I use to know a guy who was 6′2″ and 170 lbs, his nickname was “Crackpipe Jerry”. I’m not suggesting Obama is still using cocaine, but when you get down to that weight it’s generally because you’re a drug user or you have AIDS. I’m not saying Obama has AIDS, but according to any height/weight ratio chart, a healthy weight for a male that’s 6′2″ is anywhere between 175 lbs and 197 lbs. Then again, that’s a pretty decent weight for your average Kenyan. I suppose that eating plates of arugula and all that time spent bowing to foreign leaders have really trimmed down the young Community Organizer.

Obama is sensitive about his cigarette habit and tetchy with reporters who raise it. But after his 90-minute medical at the Navy hospital outside Washington yesterday morning, his doctors confirmed he had not yet managed to conquer the habit and suggested he “continue smoking cessation efforts”.

The doctors said the president used medication to try to ease the pangs, they described it as “nicotine replacement therapy, self-use”.

Obama is sensitive about his smoking habit because he’s always Jonesin’ for a smoke. You saw what he was like at that health summit circus the  other day, he was hanging so bad I thought he was going to start gnawing on Nancy Pelosi’s face. Not that Pelosi would have been able to feel it, what with Obama’s sensitive baby teeth and Pelosi’s face that’s as tough as the tread on my massive SUV.

But I thought Obama promised a certain woman with an enormous ass that he was going to quit when he became President?

Obama promised Michelle when he embarked on his campaign to become president he would quit, at the time he said he was smoking about eight a day.

About eight a day? Like maybe ten a day then? Or 15? I use to be an amazing smoker, a little less than a pack a day. But when someone asked me how much I smoked, I never said, “Ahhh, about 22 cigarettes a day”, I said a pack a day. When Obama said ”Eight a day” , he’s trying to minimize the fact that he’s a smoke hound. His clothes stink, his teeth are yella, his lungs look like Vladimir Putin’s head.

So Obama lied to his wife and children. Big deal, I suppose, none of our business. It’s not like he’s lied to the American public. Right? Buehler? I mean, his lying isn’t some sort or pattern. Right? Buehler.

Oh well, so he’s a smoker. Lots of people smoke. Not many Presidents mind you, but lots of people do, none-the-less. It’s not like he’s a drunk:

The doctors also recommended “moderation of alcohol intake”.

Come again?

The doctors also recommended “moderation of alcohol intake”.

Say that slower…

The      doctors      also     recommended     ”moderation     of     alcohol     intake”.

One more time for the record:

The doctors also recommended “moderation of alcohol intake”.

How many of you occasional drinkers have had a physical and after all is said and done, the doctor recommends that you should “moderate your drinking?” Even if you have a glass of wine a day, no doctor is going to tell you to moderate your drinking. Because that’s not a big deal. The only reason a doctor would tell you to moderate your drinking is if your drinking is problematic enough that it warrants moderation.

So Obama is in excellent physical health, but he’s underweight, he’s a smoker and a booze hound? Like River Phoenix, he is.

Believe me when I say I have no problem with a smoking, drinking, lying, underweight, Kenyan Manchurian President. If Obama wants to smoke, it’s his own choice. If he wants to pound back the wine coolers (because you know that’s all the lightweight could handle), then so be it. Lying to his wife? That’s between Obama and Allah.

If Obama’s “excellent health” is the prognosis of the state-employed health care physician, then by God, when socialized medicine is rammed through in another month, that will mean every American will suddenly morph into perfect physical condition.

7 Responses to “Obama Is In Great Shape – For A Smoker & A Drunk”

  1. marc in calgary Says:

    somewhat related… “halal or not? you decide”


  2. The Mayor Says:

    lol- lovely.

    Who says he’s against drilling?

  3. dmorris Says:

    There’s nothing wrong with a President who does coke,it helps keep you awake and alert, and if anyone dares fuck with you or your Country, you’ll nuke ‘em to oblivion,which is near Andy’s home town.

  4. Sisyphus Says:

    Naturally, if a Republican President was drinking and smoking, the Stalinist American media would make it front page news.

    That same media is hoping no one in America remembers that Obama has not released his medical records yet (or any other document with his name on it). (No, the fraudulent Hawaiian Certificate of Live birth doesn’t count.)

  5. Andy (With white letters) Says:

    For eight years we heard a continuous stream of insinuation that Bush was secretly drinking, was a drunk, on coke, yada yada ya. I’d like to say “It’s amazing how filthy the MSM is”, but it’s neither surprising nor amazing.

  6. Andy Says:

    “…you’ll nuke ‘em to oblivion,which is near Andy’s home town.”

    Andy, you aina’t gonna just take that lying down from dmorris, are ya’? ARE YA’?

  7. marc in calgary Says:

    I always thought that “oblivion” was just about an hour east of Thunder Bay, and you’re totally correct on the “8 cigs” a day bit. Nobody says that.
    They’ll say a pack or a half a pack, or not quite a pack (as I did as well many years past), or maybe they’ll say “only about 6 packs a day” like King Zog of Albania did, for a few months…
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Zog_of_Albania (under “Life as King”)

    but nobody, will say “8″ nobody will say, “I smoke 14 cigs a day”
    well maybe if you were a controlling islamist that insisted upon bowing down to Arabia and showing his ass to the rest of us while running the greatest country in the world into the ground, then maybe. But an honest man that didn’t lie regarding everything and I mean absofuckinglutely everything, he wouldn’t say 8.

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