How To Beat Your Wife

I think the key to beating your wife, as explained in the short video, is to not beat them like you would an animal OR a child. Because that would be wrong.

**Peace be to Ol Remus

10 Responses to “How To Beat Your Wife”

  1. Buck Says:

    My ex- used to beat me all the damned time. She was the Scrabble Queen. But I did manage to beat her once or twice.

  2. The Mayor Says:

    Yes, but after she beat you in Scrabble, did she stick you in a pit and whip rocks at yer noggin’?

  3. mare Says:

    Definitely the religion of peace. Definitely.

  4. dmorris Says:

    I’d beat my wife, but she says she’ll hit me if I do.

    Such insolence! Allah, give me strength.

  5. marc in calgary Says:

    I guess this isn’t beating, strictly speaking, but it is in the face.

    http://blogs.tampabay.com/photo/2009/11/terrorism-thats-personal.html

    serious visual warning. / religion of peace ect…

  6. Natasha Says:

    If they’re not supposed to beat a woman in the face, how do they find her face in those body bags?

  7. Andy Says:

    Mayor, is that what TLDG does to you?

  8. The Mayor Says:

    Natasha – that’s a fine question. Plus, if the women are behind the veil, what difference does it make if they get hit in the face, who’s going to see them anyway?

    Andy – TLDG and I have around the house what’s known as a “love stick”. When feeling frisky, we are allowed to pick up said love stick and beat each other with it. Sure, it’s as light as a feather, but it’s the beating part that counts. It’s like a ritual. An African ritual. West/South African ritual.

    It has worked well over the years and brought us many children.

  9. Andy Says:

    Nyuk! We have our own love stick, and it’s brought us many children, too…I just never heard it called that. ;)

    Actually, I came back to listen to this video again for a reason. My Arabic is a little rusty, but after listening to this again, I’m pretty sure it’s a faked up deal. Ya’ know, kind of like those “Hitler hates YouTube,” or “Hitler is pissed at Obama” videos.

    After carefully listening, I think the guys are actually discussing the gentlemanly way to screw a new goat…ya’ know, kinda break ‘em in gently. I’m pretty sure that’s it. I’m gonna forward a link to my Linguist son. He’s not an Arabic linguist, but he knows a bunch of ‘em. I’ll get back with a full report.

  10. Buck Says:

    Yes, but after she beat you in Scrabble, did she stick you in a pit and whip rocks at yer noggin’?

    Yes. Metaphorically speaking.

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