Horoscope for the week of November 14, 2010

Boy, are you ever lucky to live in interesting times. What ever happens this week in the stars? How about a coup d’etat on November, 19, 2010? Both Jupiter and Venus are ruling the stars, and they both shake off the doldrums by going direct on that day. These are the two planets that dominated the Roman Empire, so something Roman Empire-ish will happen. What could be Roman Empire than armies marching on Rome? So, you can quote your astrologer, Sargon the Magnificent, when he says that.

Aries: Squirrel goes with Parsley, is your astro-tip for this week, Aries.

Taurus: People should stand aside when you walk, Mighty One. Your displeasure comes at a price in their life force. Your plan is best, after all. In Victory, eat a lot of food. For the rest of your life, you will eat plenty *

Gemini: The worlds best product is the worlds best, worlds cheapest flavor additive: flavor ants. Of course they grow them in a simple ant houses which even you can make keep fed … *

Cancer: There is something in your dislike of Dark Lord-ism, that forces you to become the peoples choice to become one yourself. Ultimately, you have the best wardrobe tastes * .

Leo: A Hero, of course. There is a baby trapped and easily rescued in some easily accessible place, you will carry it out on your lunch break while your lunch prepares in the coffee shop. Cameras, Lights, Action …

Virgo: If you had assurances that the Pope had approved of a coup, would you strongly approve, or somewhat approve? The Big Guy in Rome, you do not think he is the real owner of Las Vegas? The Master of the Five Families? Which side will you be on? How about changing sides?

Libra: Buildings will fall around you, but you will be untouched. The Survivalists (the Order of the Iron Rat) bring you into their plans for plunder.

Scorpio: Amidst your plunder and treasure, you will realize you could have had it all, sooner, if you had been a pirate. You wisest friend comes from a family of undertakers.

Sagittarius: The Death Star of the Iron Ages was the Horse Archer, which in latin is Sagittarius They were so successful, as a group, that they got their own spot on the Zodiac. Wild Card Mercenaries, Ultimately. You are the heir apparent to an aging man. You must prepare to become The Man.

Capricorn: Always associated with sieges and the conquest of cities, a taste for urban pleasures * , your sign will do most of the heavy lifting as far as plundering goes. The New Order will be a New Place, where your talents will be rewarded quickly, and lavishly, by your Prussian benefactors.

Aquarius: Yes, the Water Bearer: which is to say the big guy on the battle field. Sometimes he carried water, but mostly he carried some form of war hammer or spiked ball chain flail weapon. Symbolism, eh? * Cat installed, indeed.

Pisces: When those powerful spirits come back from the dead, take form, clothe themselves in bodies, and sell financial products; they also have a taste for fresh baked scones. Depends where you are in the world ranking in making scones; as the powerful spirits back from the dead find it easier to use facebook, than walk in sunlight; and they will make you an offer you cannot refuse. An obscenely profitable one, actually.

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