Applied post Christian Pagan

I do what I can to make the Mayors’ life easier. I read his mail, to save him from the eye strain. Here is a great letter …

Dear Mayor:

I have never written to you before today. I enjoy your site and it makes me laugh.

A few weeks ago, I took Fenris’ advice and made a burnt offering to Set, the Snake God. That was easy. I got some bacon and put it on the bar-b-que. The Maple Syrup scent was wonderful.

The next day, strange things started to happen. My supervisor, at work, died. I got the promotion into his job. I had to clean out his desk. That was pretty creepy.

The strangest thing was when I went out for a walk last night. I was walking down an alley (I do not live in an area of diversity, so it is safe to walk around at night) and this dog started barking at me. The owner came out and wondered what was going on. She told me that the dog never barks at people, only dogs. I was alone … there were no dogs.

I choked on my own words: I wanted to say ‘There are no dogs out here’, but something grabbed at my chest.

Am I turning into a werewolf, Mayor?

Your devoted reader,

Heck, what should the Mayor tell this guy?

7 Responses to “Applied post Christian Pagan”

  1. Flea Says:

    I cannot speak for the Mayor, obviously. But were I in his shoes I would suggest your correspondent stop confusing a feature for a bug. Many would die – I speak literally – for the opportunity this man so casually enjoys.

  2. Sargon Says:

    This is terrible.

    How many of these cursed wretches are there out there? Does this explain the consistent series of climatic disasters to afflict the Global Warming movement?

    Send this fellow the antidote.

  3. marc in calgary™ Says:

    While this “man” was cleaning out his former boss’ desk, what did he find? was there anything worth leaking to the press? Was there any secret correspondence between him and the office girl down the hall?

    Does wiki know?

  4. mare Says:

    Ask this guy if I can write a series of books based on his life as a werewolf (aimed at preteen and teens). This is gonna be great!

  5. J.M. Heinrichs Says:

    … a Were-Shih-Tzu?


  6. The Mayor Says:

    I totally dig the spam in this place.

  7. Steynian 432nth « Free Canuckistan! Says:

    [...] MITCHIEVILLE– Horoscope for the week of December 12, 2010; Applied post Christian Pagan; Yup, That’s Pretty Weird Week; Green Shoots & Leaves 1; MENSA Teaser; The Sleeping Sword; [...]

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