Sharon Osborne Hates Madonna’s Guts – Saved in drafts 8.11.05

**Saved in drafts 08.11.2005. Thems a long time ago.

Straight from the pages of WWTDD, comes more verbal pearls from my newest, bestest friend, Sharon Osborne:

“It’s like dressing up with [Madonna]. One day you’re in fucking gun gear, then you’re in horsing gear, then you dress like a fucking dyke, then you dress like a hooker, then you’re in a flowery dress reading kids poetry looking like a fucking librarian — then you’re back looking like an old hooker again. And writing those painful silly books and reading them to your kids! If my mum came to me with a book like that I’d say, fucking stick it up your ass. Fucking English Roses. Fuck.”

It’s slowly ocurring to me that Sharon Osborne dislikes Madonna.  There really is only one way to resolve this feud: Sharon and Madonna must have a knife fight in an octagon.

I’m a big fan of the UFC, and one thing that I know is no matter what the combatants say about each other before a fight, everything is resolved inside the octagon.

I’m pretty sure that if the brains behind the UFC charged $49.95 for a pay-per-view event that gave people the chance to see Madonna get stabbed in the face by Sharon Osborne, they would take in close to 2 trillion dollars.

Let’s just see how powerful the Kabbalah God’s are, Madonna. Step up to the plate, little girl. What do you have to lose? Are you going to let some British hillbilly talk about you that way?

When asked for a comment on this ongoing feud, Ozzy said “argrbratmrinsop..fuck fuck..SHARON!”

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