Junk Mailers

I guess The Mayor is a piker when it comes to the proper way to mess with these companies. Typically, I take the “no postage necessary” envelopes, spray them cologne or perfume, write a brief note – “Thanks for your offer, you are very generous”, and then send them off from whence they came.

I do like today’s idea though.

11 Responses to “Junk Mailers”

  1. DMorris Says:

    This will never work in Canada as our mailboxes are Red, not Blue.

  2. marc in calgary Says:

    What I’m seeing here, is an excellent method of disposing of those new twisty mercury laden light bulbs that are said to last for about 1001 hours but don’t quite make the grade. This also works for old batteries and a variety of your other recycling needs.

    More healthy home tips from The Mayor? it is thursday after all.

  3. The Mayor Says:

    What fantastic suggestions! Although Dmorris is right, it won’t work (red mailboxes, and all).

  4. Nihilady Says:

    you can’t leave these in post boxes anymore in the U.S. if they are over 15oz. You have to give it to a live person.

  5. The Mayor Says:

    how much does a couple AAA’s or a firecracker weigh?

    For that matter, 14 oz of dog shit still would stink up a storm.

  6. DMorris Says:

    marc,are those cfl bulbs supposed to last 1001 hours or 101 hours? All the ones I’ve bought have lasted about three months,I’d say closer to 250 hours of use.

    BUT,you’ve given me a great idea, I’ll mail the burned out bulbs to the Environment Ministry and they can dispose of ‘em.

  7. The Mayor Says:


    I installed a few CFL bulbs and six months later had to get glasses. The bulbs are horrible. I really hate the environment for doing this to me.

  8. The MaleMan Says:

    Good colour coordination DMorris. Some people I have spoken to have taken all the crap that comes with the return envelope and mailed it back via return envelope. I think this will have you removed from the list quickly yet have never bothered with it myself so cannot honestly support the method. Mailing a brick may work, just make sure there is no clue as to where it came from inside or out as the cost should go to the recipient but who knows for sure when you play games with the Postal Service. By the way, there may be a strike this year so have your pension,. etc. checks direct deposited to alleviate any hardship on your account…

  9. The Mayor Says:

    That’s some good advice, double M.

    As for the pensioners, if they don’t receive their cheques quick-smart every month, I could see a LOT of bricks being mailed back to various gov’t organizations.

  10. DMorris Says:

    Gee,rather than mail the bricks,wouldn’t hand delivery,with force ,be a better idea? ;-)

    Thanks,MM, I’ve been able to recognize colours since,oh…..about Tenth Grade….always had trouble with “puce” though.

    “Strike”,eh! Privatization,here we come!

  11. marc in calgary Says:

    .. and don’t forget to wrap the brick with a handout of “Ace Window Repairs” latest special offers.

    h/t : Gary Larson, “The Far Side”, about 25 years ago.

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