MENSA Teaser
Anyone with little children can tell you how their kids think there is some sort or magical healing powers in their parent’s kiss. When a child hurts their finger or hand, all they have to do is receive a kiss and their boo boo’s are wiped clean. Magical.
Which brings me to The Mayor’s doctor appointment on Tuesday that just passed. It turns out The Mayor is going to be laid up for a stretch as he has a sprained neck, thorax and lumbar caused from that auto accident he was in last week. So, I suppose what I’m saying is if any of you parents actually do have magical kiss powers, could you please come to The Manor and kiss The Mayor’s thorax and lumbar.
Appreciated.
Last week’s hairy back MENSA Teaserwent very well, dontchathink? There was quite a bit of participation, but when all was said and done, Mr Fnortner came away the winner by virtue of looking up the answer on the mighty Google. Google can be our friend, Google can be used for good.
The Mayor is going to be totally honest with you right now – it’s 7:40 in the am and he is pretty stoned right now.
With that said, let’s get a MENSAing.
1) Put the same four-letter word on each line below to make three new words.
For______
Home________
To________
2) The Retired Geez is looking at a new pair of sneakers and trying to figure out how much they cost originally. “Reduced by 50%, then 20%, and now cost $40.00″
How much did they cost originally?
Yo, Geez, just steal those sneakers. Stop worrying about how things were and start living in the now, man. Steal dem shoes, steal dem shoes.
And just like that, poof!, the MENSA Teaser game begins. We’re sorry we can’t promise you any hairy back questions this week, but maybe next week, maybe next week.
Oh, btw, kiss my thorax.
April 8th, 2011 at 8:34 am
Really sorry to hear that, Mayor. Prayers for you definitely. Stupid accidents they always have lingering bs to deal with.
Have you ever noticed I don’t do the Mensa Teasers? I may be dumb, but I’m slow!
April 8th, 2011 at 8:39 am
Forward
Homeward
Toward
The shoes were $100
April 8th, 2011 at 9:21 am
1) Forerunn/Homerunn/Torunn
2) Running shoes for The Geez recv’d a further Seniors Discount of 10% hence a cost of $36.00.
3) An injured lumbar may not be ideal today but in a court of law tomorrow it is very difficult to disprove, as for the thorax, who knows?
April 8th, 2011 at 9:23 am
Mayor, sorry about your Dr. Seuss paining you. Hope you feel better soon. You really should fire that chauffeur.
That said, I have found three words that work perfectly in your puzzle, stump, play, and ward. Let’s go with STUMP.
The shoes were too cheap from the get-go, do not wear shoes that start out at one hundred smackeroos, they’re bad for your dawgs.
April 8th, 2011 at 9:33 am
Oh, I didn’t know in the Teaser you could just make crap up.
April 8th, 2011 at 11:22 am
Cudgel was correct: Running shoes for The Geez recv’d a further Seniors Discount of 10% hence a cost of $36.00.
I only had to look at the receipt to verify that.
Hey, there’s an Online Survey on this receipt. Perhaps I can save an additional 1% on my next purchase.
I’m going to apply it to that huge box of Depends, that I’ve had my eye on.
April 8th, 2011 at 12:27 pm
I will have Sonjia DeSade come by, Mayor. She will use her lips to draw the pain and tension out of your stiff neck and back. There will be no bodily contact because she will be in her cobra themed latex catsuit.
April 8th, 2011 at 2:14 pm
Get well soonest, Mr. Mayor.
April 8th, 2011 at 2:39 pm
Mr. Fnortner, having just waked up at 2:30 in the afternoon, is not yet up for the Mensa Teaser, and so will take a pass. Thanks for the honor for last week’s question. Google is a nice source of information but ask yourself, “How could Mr. Fnortner type all those math symbols into the Google search box?” Mr. F asks for just a little slack to permit him to have recognized the equations, and THEN Googled {Schroedinger back tattoo}. Have fun y’all.
April 8th, 2011 at 8:04 pm
Yeah, well then how come the tests they gave me looked like
this?
Psych_____
April 9th, 2011 at 1:30 am
I’m gonna say that #1 is “WARD.” He was The Beaver’s Daddy, and this is all about wholesome family junk, as we all know.
As to #2, I’m gonna say they were a C-note to start off with, and ended up at 40 bucks. Which is probably still about a 200% profit to the Payless shoe store, because some poor Pakistani, or chink kid was forced into slave labor just so that Mr. Fnortner could get a deal on shoes that he probably doesn’t even wear because he’s a lazy bum that sleeps through all the normal human productive hours.
Sorry that you’re still stove up, Mayor. Paint your bedroom dark mauve…it has healing powers that not many folks know about.
Just sayin’…
April 9th, 2011 at 1:39 am
ward
forward
homeward
toward
I hope your Dr. visit turns out well for you…
April 9th, 2011 at 6:18 am
1. “nite”- for’nite, homenite, to’nite.
2. $40 less 50% = $20; $20 less 20% = $16. Which is 4/25ths of an answer.
Cheers
April 9th, 2011 at 10:36 am
I read this this post yesterday, and was left speechless…I mean, it’s awkward to say, Mayor, but your thorax?
I didn’t even know humans had thoraxes. I knew insects did. Dang…I totally get it now.
Cause you bug alot of us.
The things you know..it’s like you’re a fly on the wall,
you’re crazy as a June bug, and you ant got any scruples.
Holy Cow…
Does this mean your lungs and heart are in your abdomen and shit?
oh my, my dear Mayor,
you have all my sympathy, really.
April 9th, 2011 at 4:47 pm
At times, the Mayor has difficulty retaining his human form.
April 9th, 2011 at 8:58 pm
Who’s human form????
Cheers
April 10th, 2011 at 4:51 am
I asked my 12-year old grandson the discount question and he gave me the answer, off the top of his head, in about 4 second. I was impressed. I asked my spousal unit that same question, and she answered immediately without even a momentary processing delay. That’s the difference between theoretical knowledge and practical experience.
April 10th, 2011 at 10:03 am
Nancy – The Mayor can assure you that he is a human and not an insect.
When The Mayor first read your comment, his antanae immediately went up. He was going to write you back a rather biting, stinging comment, but decided otherwise.
Instead, he put on his yellow jacket, sat back in his chair and pondered. That’s what we wasps (white anglo saxon prtoestants) do. Sure, your comment TICKED me off, and I felt a mite bad, but I figure you’re just being a lady bug.
April 10th, 2011 at 6:52 pm
I’m just pestering ya
If you’re in pain it’s not effected your sense of humor.
Recover fully.