Mandatory Voting? No Thanks
Every few years when there’s either a provincial or federal election, some jackwagon journolista type fills up some white space of his or her newspaper with the idea that since very few Canadians actually vote, the government should MAKE them vote. Mandatory voting. “It works well in Australia” we’re told. Up to 93% of Australians vote. Whatever. Keep in mind that Australians also like to eat kangaroos and grope sheep.
Not only is mandatory voting a bad idea, it’s a terribly bad idea. Have a look around you when you’re outside later today and try to keep a straight face when you tell The Mayor that the slack-jawed, drooling imbeciles you met on your travels should be voting. Hell, most of those people shouldn’t be driving, shopping or seeing the light of day without a full Silence of the Lambs body armoured suit strapped on.
You see, not only should we not have mandatory voting, we should figure out a way to weed out and dispose of 75% of the people that do vote as it is. Ask the average Joe voter a simple question like, “What do you think of Canada’s foreign policy as it pertains to the Middle East?” and you’ll instantly see in that persons eyes that they are either thinking of how the Maple Leafs can shore up their blue line next year (they can’t, btw, because they suck), or, they can’t answer you because they are soiling their pants.
And we need more poopy-panted voters? The Mayor thinks not.
“But, but but….it’s your duty to vote!” No, no it isn’t. It’s your duty not to vote. When you vote, you are sending the message that you are happy with the crooked system we currently have in place. We don’t have political party’s in Canada as much as we have political cartels. These cartels all have the same message and have milked this country dry since confederation. Voting for any major political party at this time, while not even knowing what their message is is nothing short of a disaster. Anyone who votes and doesn’t know the issues should be bound and gagged and thrown into the murky waters of Lake Simcoe. It would also be a good idea if they had their pockets filled with rocks first.
Every vote cast in Canada pads the pockets of the political elites to the tune of $2. If we have mandatory voting, that would mean each political party would get even more taxpayer money than they already do. The big three political party’s are fat enough piggies as it is, they need less money, not more.
If you’re looking to send a message when it comes time to vote, don’t vote. Which would send a bigger message to the political cartels – having 90% of eligible voters vote, or, having only 3% of the populace come out and vote? Eh? Huh? Whuzzat?
On election day you need to do your civic duty and stay the hell away from the polling stations. Voting is for losers. For suckers. Possibly for communists and definitely for people that soil themselves on a regular basis. Are you a commie? Is your diaper filled with doo-doo? No? Then go get drunk, asshole.
April 21st, 2011 at 3:14 pm
Ummm… the thought just occurred to me: when are ya up for re-election, Mr. Mayor? If no one votes does the tree make a sound?
April 21st, 2011 at 3:49 pm
Exaaaaaaaactly.
April 21st, 2011 at 5:02 pm
Emma Goldman said, “If voting changed anything, they’d make it illegal.” Smart woman. A large turnout gives the politician cover so he can say, “Look at how many people voted for me. I must be doing the right thing.” In my experience, voting for a politician is like having the people on the train decide whether they want Jesse or Frank James to lead the next robbery. BFD.
April 21st, 2011 at 6:17 pm
Weed them out. Dandelion Canadians.
April 21st, 2011 at 8:56 pm
If one of the choices was “none of the above” I could be persuaded to go with mandatory voting, especially if those on the ballot defeated by “none of the above” were not allowed to contest the vote in round #2 … round #3…
Perhaps throw in some recall legislation too. Say if Mr. My-ginn-ty was elected with a total vote of 12,000 it would require 12,001 signatures to recall him, and hold a by-election. Every riding in the country. Like musical chairs.
No I don’t care how much it costs, more money can be printed.
I’d also like a republic, if we can keep it…
April 22nd, 2011 at 10:28 am
Since marc in calgary brought up taxes, why, I ask, do we have the insane US tax system? At this point our government can easily do either of the following: seize from our bank accounts, or merely print, any amount of money they need. One, why do we have to go through the annual ritual of filling out a tax return, submitting forms already provided to the taxing authorities by our employers and stock brokers, and writing a check? Surely the taxing authorities already know how much they want from us, and they have the wherewithal to seize money. So why don’t they just compute what they want and take it? Two, why bother with all that taxing crap, and enormous cost, when the government can just print however much they need in the basement of the Treasury? There’s no gold standard, and no governor on the dissipating value of money, so why bother with taxes? Just print. That would be QEForever, and would work just fine. Wouldn’t it?
April 22nd, 2011 at 6:15 pm
Yes, or, why not have a flat rate of 15% for EVERYBODY. No deductions, no nothing. Just one form with a space for gross income and another space below it that says 15% of gross income.
Two spaces, that’s all.
April 22nd, 2011 at 7:12 pm
I think the economy would explode in a good way if we were ever to have a truly flat tax.
Do they still have the flat tax in Hong Kong? given that they don’t have any natural resources or land to build long flat assembly plants, they seem to have done quite well anyways.
15% for everyone. all colors. no exceptions.
April 23rd, 2011 at 5:33 am
[...] of Lake Simcoe. It would also be a good idea if they had their pockets filled with rocks first. mitchieville April 23rd, 2011 | Category: Canadian Politics | Leave a [...]
April 23rd, 2011 at 11:08 am
You realize, of course, that taxes are theft. Money is taken by threat of violent force from productive members of society and given to the non-producers, including government workers themselves. The only fair tax is actually a fee, one charged by an administrative authority for consumers of its services, preferably in competition with other businesses also providing the same service. Parks, libraries, museums, schools, plus police, firefighters, and courts, for example, could be for-fee services. This would be a much wealthier place all around under this method.
April 23rd, 2011 at 1:57 pm
There’s nothing wrong with mandatory voting, Mayor, if you approach it correctly. The mandatory part is simply showing up; the voting part is secret, so just spoil your ballot. The message would be clear: you can make me attend, you can’t make me participate the way you want. Imagine the news getting out that almost 100% of Canadians voted but the vast majority of the ballots were useless or had “Fuck you!” scrawled across them.
April 23rd, 2011 at 10:33 pm
Who said that compulsory voting works well in Australia?? If you saw the debacle of a federal government that we have now made up of unrepresentative swill from the idiot end of the voting spectrum, you couldn’t possibly say that it is working well. The reason it was incorporated in to the Oz constitution is that our founding fathers were pricks who thought that we should share the responsibility for government equally. The idea being that if we got a truly crap government, we were all partially responsible. Yeah, total wank, I know. Obviously things were diferent 111 years ago.
Also, the eating kangaroos and groping sheep comment I take offence to. Roos are delicious and groping sheep is no longer compulsory, though the large canadian lobby over here is trying to reintroduce it, as they say that it is like moose fiddling, but slightly safer.
April 24th, 2011 at 10:44 am
In the US today, we are celebrating the Spring Festival of the Rabbit-Who-Lays-Eggs. Enjoy, all!
April 28th, 2011 at 2:06 pm
[...] I cannot say, because we do not have freedom of speech; MENSA Good Friday Teaser; Mandatory Voting? No Thanks …. [...]