Denouncing Capitalism

Denouncing capitalism is just one of those things you have to do to get and keep your job and lifestyle of tax payer subsidized privilege. An acquaintance of mine went into a rant about the evils of capitalism; which narrowed down to the evils of corporations. Corporations. Corporations are evil. Which leads to the question: what do you mean by Corporations. As in, how do you define Corporations. Being so hork spit in the granola evil, they must be identifiable, eh what?

I know the definition of Corporation from my accounting studies. The CBC is a corporation; that is the last C of the CBC stands for ‘corporation’. Are they evil? Should they be denounced in the collective hatred of capitalism? My acquaintance laughed and said no. They were different. What about his precious pension plan. They invest in corporations through share capital. Are those corporations evil corporations, their share capital evil capital? I wondered. The acquaintance thereupon did a strange thing: it was like his diskette drive had been re-loaded. Instead of talking details and definition of the evil corporation, he went back to the same words, using the same tone of voice: Corporations are evil.

The CBC is a corporation. Workers pensions are derived from corporations. Really does not matter. My acquaintance has the symptoms of hypnotic suggestion, not the wreckage of a sloppy logical argument. The flushed skin, the droopy eyes, the ‘impaired critical reasoning’. I nodded as the acquaintance rattled off his third repetition of the same thing. He was a perfect model; all I had to do was to slip into a hypnotic trance and I could have the same waking dream sense of peace and tranquility. Just close your eyes. Think of a peaceful place. Corporations are evil. I will count backwards from ten using the voice of Bruno Gerussi. When you awake you will feel relaxed and refreshed. And when I awake from this involuntary session, will you put money in my pocket, rather than taking it out?

Corporations are evil. How else would I have learnt that watching television is hypnotic. What does ‘hypnotic’ mean? Something bad, like capitalism. Maybe capitalism is ‘hypnotic’. Corporations are bad, and ‘hypnotic’. These sorts of mysteries interest my curious mind, or did in the past before I learnt to not tell people what I believed and did and keep up a politically correct front. Which is to say I know that you can use a television to induce a hypnotic trance, plant suggestions, all without the obligation of telling people what you are doing. I model myself on the CB(not)C. And my acquaintance, as he rattled off the fourth iteration of Corporations are evil, was watching television. Hmmm. What would Fenris Badwulf do?

I live in Toronto now. There is that wonderful place called Dundas Square. There are those huge television screens there. And there is a diversity of whores, a multi-cultural selection of drugs to abuse, and the gang bangers have brawls you can bet on. Everything Hockey should have been in Canada, except for the evil agenda of that capitialist Ballard. I used to hang out down there in the days before the last election. Hundreds of thousands of people pass through there, under the flickering light of those giant screens. They hurry through, not paying much attention to me (I dress like a bum; only my dragon ring gives much of a clue as to my non bum nature); just hurrying through on the prowl for pussy, dick, smoke, or a friendly wager on the flying molars. Me, I was doing research on the primate mind.

Do you have a conscious memory of actually marking the ballot? Of course you do! You voted for Trotsky, or Trudeau, or Dick Turpin. I can only nod in agreement with you. But, strangely enough, if you inspect the actual ballot, and quiz the test subject on the details, they fail. The ballot they describe marking isn’t the ones you find out back in the trunk of the car of the liberal war room lawyer. If you enquire further you will also observe that people look away when they make the X. If you are familiar with automatic handwriting *. you will recognize the symptoms. They look away, but will tell you in a pleasant monotone that they voted for Trudeau, they voted for Trudeau, they voted for Trudeau. I see, I see, I see. It is a snap your fingers moment.

So, getting back to the subject, that Corporations (except for the approved list headed by the CBC, and those the Teachers’ pension plan invests in) are evil. The details and facts are scanty, unlike the crystal clear memories my acquaintance has of voting for Tommy Douglas in the Etobicoke-Beaches riding. He can describe the ballot, as clear and as fresh as the exactly the same ballots from the other times he voted for Tommy back when he went to school in Guelph, or back in his home town of Rumpelstiltskin, Ontario. Too bad the details about how to find the tree of knowledge of the difference between the good corporations and the evil corporations are so vague, hidden by a fog, when the memory of making that same X on the same ballot, over and over again, is so clear, for all the times you did the same thing. I will just have to muddle along, looking to the guidance of my politically correct, ability challenged betters, those African dance trained intellects.

Speaking of which, I have yet to meet anybody who actually voted for the conservatives in the last election. Sure, here on the internet, they say they did. But on the streets of Toronto, all is grumbling. The whore with bedbugs, wondering when the social services are going to come by and clean her place and give her new furniture; the lawyer with bills to pay, wondering if his pregnant mistress can get the 10:30 appointment for her third trimester abortion so they can make the flight to Cuba; the hospice worker worried about the slow process of probate; the homeless person stuck with the suite next to the garbage chute; none will claim to have voted for the extreme right wing party of white male Christian privilege. Just go down to Dundas Square, and talk to the angry, underfunded tax spenders; the students, the whores, the pimps, the drug retailers, the lawyers looking for boys dressed as girls, the bureaucrats with testicles to squeeze, and the never workers out comparison shoplifting. Their hands twitch when they talk about how they need more funding; their fingers grasp an invisible pencil and make an X when I mention the (post birth) baby killer Harper, even as their lips demand better condoms made of thinner latex and earth friendly broccoli oil lubricant. Their hands twitch.

You can stand under the light of the screens at Dundas Square and convince yourself that nobody voted for Harper. And nobody notices. Like all these evangelical Christians that supposedly dominate Canadian society. The only one I know stands at the North West corner handing out tracts. Maybe he should work the crowd, wear different clothes, alter his tone of voice, use stream of consciousness interruption inductions, and study (er, model) the work of Ernest Hilgard. Works for me when I want results. Not that hypnosis does anything. You can convince yourself, right now. Go look at yourself in the mirror in your bathroom. Nod in agreement even when you do not have anything to agree with. Do you feel hypnotized? Of course not. Now snap your fingers together. Do you feel like someone has planted thoughts inside your mind? You are a mind controlled zombie, waiting orders to rise up and overthrow the rule of reason. This is ridiculous, and even in the presence of empirical evidence (nobody votes for Harper; nobody has reason to vote for Harper) nobody much notices. So, it is not hypnosis responsible for this, but these ill defined evil Corporations. If only I could get a clear definition of what they are, then they could be tracked down.

You will sleep well tonight. You will awake calm and refreshed. Paying taxes at the gas station makes you feel good. You will dream about a long trip where instead of a television, you will have a sweaty horse rump to watch. There is no reason to understand the difference between good corporation and bad. That feels good, now does it not?

2 Responses to “Denouncing Capitalism”

  1. The Mayor Says:

    Usually when the gov’t takes it upon themselves to “tweak” or even fix a “problem”, they end up making things 7 billion times worse. When everything goes to shit, they have to blame someone, it’s not as if they are going to take responsibility for their mistakes. At that time, they blame speculators, corporations, and or capitalism.

    That’s a real leftie thing to do, your leftie friend is a stooge.

  2. Thorjolfstolf Says:

    I was wondering if Fenris was gong to address this fellows habit of sleep walking, er, driving while asleep. It can be dangerous

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