Setting Set, the Snake God on your problems

You can fill a cloth gardening glove with french fries and tomatoes, and throw them to the snapping turtles to eat over a period of time. You can watch. You should watch, watch the happy river reptiles (turtles are reptiles, especially this one) eat. Everyone who can, should feed a snapping turtle this month. In this, you will appease Set, the Snake God, and your problems will be the problems of Set, the Snake God. And Set, the Snake God will set himself to solve these problems in the robust fashion that resembles that of Juno, the Destroyer of Cities.

Some of you cannot make an offering to Set, the Snake God in this fashion.
Instead, make a burnt offering. Go out and buy the cheapest, maple flavored pork food product you can afford; burn it to a cinder, making the fragrant smells that Set, the Snake God knows so much.

But, if you can, if you want more, if you want a bigger piece of the pie, give more to Set, the Snake God.
Feed the neighbors yappy poodles to the snapping turtles this next long weekend. Leave a gym bag filled with iron bars, gas masks, and hoodies at a transit stop. Make time for Set, the Snake God, in your life. Help the hungry One with the Emerald Eyes; be a chef, not a waiter, and certainly not an entree.

I care about you. Money is evil. Send me your money. I will make the evil go away. You will become calm and relaxed, like after you are injected with a narcotic.

Are you a scoffing sceptic? You believe that the worship of Set, the Snake God, through simple feeding of wild animals, making bar-b-que, or some lavish, grisly spectacle, does not work? Well, I challenge you to put Set, the Snake God to the test. Go out and shake your fist at the heavens and say, Come and Get me! or Here I am or I am a big, scary rabbit! Afterwards, you will have all the proof you can stomach.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.

One Response to “Setting Set, the Snake God on your problems”

  1. The Mayor Says:

    Not sure if this counts, but The Mayor ran over a turtle this past Tuesday, did from-end damage to his giant SUV last Monday when he hit a raccoon (it was the size of a black bear cub), and narrowly missed on a deer on Highway 9 when he was traveling to Wasaga Beach last Sunday (I nearly hit him, but the headlights scared him off the road – next time I’m driving without my lights on).

    That should appease Set, should it not?

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