Chick’s With Dick’s

You would have to go back to about the middle of July this year to find the last segment of Chick’s With Dick’s. During that segment, it was revealed that Mr Fnortner, DMorris, Andy, Marc in Calgary©, and the River Rat really know their Dick’s. Those five guys are really into their Dick’s, obviously. They know everything Dick. They really have their hands on the pulse of all things Dick. They must eat, sleep and dream Dick, 24/7, 366 on a leap year. How else to explain that all five of these Dick loving men knew that Richard Simmon’s was the mystery Dick of the day?

That is the only explanation. And not to beat a dead and or dying horse here, but some guys suck at Dick’s, while others – like DMorris, Andy, Mr Fnortner, Marc in Calgary© and the River Rat lap up all things Dick. The Mayor supposes they love Dick’s more than life itself.

The Mayor extends his congratulations to all five of these Dick lovers. Good job, Dick loving Dick kissing, Dick fondling Dick Dick’s. Fags.

Who and what is that grainy picture in today’s post, you ask? Well, it’s the wife of a Dick. As for the picture, it’s the only one The Mayor could find of this wife of a Dick. There are more pictures on the intertubes of the Loch Ness Monster doing deep knee bends on Rosie O’Donnel’s face than there are of this wife of a Dick. Not sure why there aren’t more pictures, perhaps she’s really ugly.

The picture you do see comes from the game show set where Dick met this grainy creature. Yup, they met on the set of a game show that he hosts. He probably tried to woo her by saying something like this, “if you come back to my trailer, I’ll hook you up with a years supply of Rice-A-Roni, it’s the San Francisco treat.” And seeing as though she’s a huge fan of processed foods and rice that contains low nutritional value, she fell at his feet and kissed his stinking Bruno Maglia’s until security had to hose her off him. That’s what happened, and it does no good for you to reject history in its purest form.

Other than that, no one really know much about this lover of the Dick. Her first name is Gretchen, we do know that much. She has terrible hair and teeth, the picture clued us in to that. But other than that, it’s all a mystery, the past is history, and today is a gift, because we call it the present. So go suck on my poetry for a while, bitchez, and answer the question that’s drooling down from your swollen lip – Who is today’s Dick?

5 Responses to “Chick’s With Dick’s”


    Proving there was life after Hogan’s Heroes–well, for everyone except Bob Crane–I’ll go with Dick Dawson.

  2. Buck Says:

    Sigh. I just don’t know Dick. Still.

  3. RiverRat Says:

    Buck does that mean your Dickless?

  4. marc in calgary™ Says:

    “Debbie” commented on the existence of Dicks on the previous post as well.

    and her blog looks interesting… She needs to be reeled in.

    I don’t know today’s Dick, but it looks to me like something from The Mayor’s default Tv network, whichever the one Rosie O’Donnellll is on mostly. She fits on one network? It’s difficult to type after being blinded by her beauty.

  5. The Mayor Says:

    After Googlin’ up a few pics of Rosie, The Mayor had to give his retina a bleach bath.

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