The Mayor’s Christmas Message

Another year nearly bites the dust and The Mayor is sitting here on the 23 of December wondering where it all went. Every year that goes by now seems like it’s on steroids. It’s Easter, tomorrow it’s Thanksgiving, and 20 minutes later it’s Christmas. We need to face facts: time is a cruel mistress that not even a heavy-handed, alcohol-fueled beating can tame.

Can The Mayor get an amen?

Time notwithstanding, Christmas is pretty great. Sure, there’s not a snowflake on the ground and it’s 50 degrees and sunny, but it’s not the weather that makes Christmas special, it’s the opportunity to spend precious time with family and friends. Or at least family. Or at least friends.

Everything else is icing on the cake. It’s spending time with loved one’s that counts. And as The Mayor mentioned above, time is a cruel mistress (a slut, actually), so you really have to get your time in when you can. Put it this way, next week Clare will be 3 years old. Yes. 3. Uh huh. Cruel mistress, indeed.

For many folks, 2011 was a hard year financially. Despite the government lies, we know unemployment skyrocketed in 2012, foreclosures were rampant, and more and more people either went on assistance or drained the savings they had. Our thoughts and prayers go out to these folks, we hope things turn around for them in 2012. We are all on the same sinking boat, and the neighbour that lost his job this week could be any of us at any given time. That’s a harsh, but true reality.

Anyway, The Mayor just re-read what he has typed out so far and he sees what a sad mess of a post it has been up to this point. A Christmas message should be upbeat, inspirational, maybe even horny. Mmmmmmm, ya, just like that.

But The Mayor’s Christmas message for 2011 is not going to be upbeat, or inspirational, and it’s not even going to be horny (except for this pic, this pic and this pic), it is going to be what it is. And that is up for dispute. Hrmmphh.

Merry Christmas to all,

The Mayor

9 Responses to “The Mayor’s Christmas Message”

  1. cudgel Says:

    I avoid eye contact with job eliminated neighbor but not with his wife. I believe it’s okay to covet thy neighbor’s wife during Christmas but only during Christmas.

  2. Andy Says:

    My thoughts exactly, Cudgel. Unfortunately, I have ZERO hot neighbors, either female, or canine.

    Merry Christmas Mitchieville! It’s been a bitchin’ good year hanging out with y’all! I hope y’all all have peace, joy, and love abounding at your joint this year. And, I hope your in-laws & worthless nieces and nephews cars break down so they can’t show up and ruin your day!

    Mayor, I think that was one of your best Christmas messages ever. Just like fine wine you get older! The cork gets harder to pop, and all!

    Merry Christmas, Mitch! Give doodle-bug a hug for us…

  3. RiverRat Says:

    Merry Christmas to Mayor, Mitch and all the Mitchievillien’s Someday when I’m out of the witness protection program I would love to visit the Mansion.

  4. Buck Says:

    The Mayor’s Christmas message for 2011 is not going to be upbeat…

    But it was most certainly educational. I never knew the female rhinoceros’ womb was in close proximity to her gullet. Apparently.

    Merry Christmas, Mayor! And to all the residents of Mitchieville, too.

  5. marc in calgary™ Says:

    Has Clare started asking where her younger sister is yet?

    Will you be hosting a “10 Best whatever’s of the year” series? or are you just going to spend the next week trying to drink the past year away? I found a special on boxed red wine near to wherever I work, it’s been a good week. I bought my supervisor an average bottle of wine for tolerating my behavior this past year. He said he’d save it until he got home. Anyways, seeing dmorris has a part time gig as Santa Klaus in the above foto makes me think there’s hope for all of us, well everyone except the 4th best B+ President ever. Happy Red & Green to TLDG, and remember the good whiskey hidden on the top shelf in your office last year? clearly hiding it behind a book labeled “Ethics” threw Fenris off the trail.

    Other Mitchivillians: This is the week we celebrate having paid our taxes for the past year, and for the remains of this year we start earning (printing?) our money for ourselves, enjoy princess. Happy Tax Freedom Day December 23.
    It’s all yours from here on in, enjoy.


  6. dmorris Says:

    Merry Christmas,Mayor,and all Mitchievillians.

    Andy, I’ll send along my address one of these days,but you’ll have to promise to come and visit next Summer,when it isn’t so goldanged cold! Minus two celsius this morning!

    Nearly froze to death in that alley.

    And Mitch,get the little girl something NICE for Christmas this year!

    Oh,apparently there’s some controversy regarding just WHO is the alleged “Son of God”, Santa,or that other guy whose name excapes me this Christmas, you know,the “loaves and fishes” fellow,… walked on water….handy with a whip… It’ll come to me yet….

    Well, Merry Christmas Mitchievillians,or did I already say that? If I did, keep this “Merry Christmas” as a spare in case of emergency.

    marc, just WHAT stimulants is your consarned hockey team taking between periods these days,they veritably FLEW around our Swedish/American “Canucks” last night!

  7. dmorris Says:

    Just an idea of how different our culture out here in B.C. really is,Andy…bluegrass,Vancouver style. ;-)

  8. Retired Geezer Says:

    I felt uplifted and motivated just reading that post.

    Merry Christmas from Camp Geezer.

  9. nancy Says:

    Tidings of comfort and joy to Mitchievillians

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