Chick’s With Dick’s

There have been times in the past where The Mayor has posted pictures of a wife of a Dick, not completely sure if that picture was in fact the actual wife of the Dick in question. This is another one of those times. If you have an instant-recognition program kicking about, the type where you can scan a face and then feed it into your computer and it will instantly tell you who that person is – the same instant-recognition program like what they used in the terrible movie I Am Number 4 – then you will be “going yard” with today’s segment. For those of you that are not privy to technology that doesn’t exist yet, here are some rather rotten clues to help you along the way.

This woman’s Dick was born in New Jersey in 1939. When her Dick was a young boy he lost his left eye after he jammed a pencil in it. No one knows why Dick did that, it was probably due to the fact that he was stupid. Her Dick was a college and professional basketball coach before retiring and getting into broadcasting.

He is best known for his catchphrases like “baby!” and “diaper dandy”….whatever the hell that means.

The Mayor wishes he could tell you more about this wife’s Dick, but Dick has kind of led a life under the radar.

From the clues given, it’s possible you folks might not be able to get your head around today’s Dick. Today’s Dick might be out of reach. At first it might seem this Dick is at your fingertips, but the more you think about Dick, the more Dick starts to fade from your mind. Whether that’s a good or bad thing is up for debate, a debate The Mayor simply does not have time for.

Who is today’s Dick?

5 Responses to “Chick’s With Dick’s”

  1. Mr Fnortner Says:

    The research department thinks her dick is named Vitale. Not to be confused with Vitalis, which is not really good for dicks.

  2. Andy Says:

    Gotta be Dick Vitalis!

    BTW, after I wrote that I looked up at Mr. Fnortner’s comment, and he’s just WRONG!!!

    It’s Dick Vitalis. I didn’t know he was blind in one eye. I know he’s a crappy sportscaster with an obnoxious voice, but I’d have given him grace if I knew he was handi-capable.

  3. dmorris Says:

    Who in hell is Dick Vitalis? I think you guys made up that name!

    Sports broadcasters have names like ,”Foster” and “Danny”,and “Pat”,and “Howard”,and “Frank”,and “Dizzy”, and even “DICK”,like Canada’s own beloved hockey broadcaster,Dick Irvin, but NOBODY has a last name “Vitalis”,which was a damned good hair tonic back in the ’sixties.

    Not even the Italians would have a surname like “Vitalis”.

    Maybe the Irish,you never know about those guys.

    Okay,I got it!! through the process of elimination: Dick Vitalis must be the play-by-play guy for the Notre Dame Drunken Irish, and that nice lady is his wife.

  4. Mr Fnortner Says:

    My bad. I thinks it’s Dick Wildroot Cream Oil instead. BTW, Wikipedia lists entries for Saint Vitalis(-es) and Vitalis of Farfa, all Italian.

  5. dmorris Says:

    Dick Brylcreem! Of course! Used to call the P X P for the Brooklyn Dodgers,my favorite baseball team!

    Good lord,Mr.F,yer right! Wiki lists not ONE, but FOUR “Saint Vitalis’s!
    Saint Vitalis of Milan
    Saint Vitalis of Savigny
    Saint Vitalis of Assisi
    Saint Vitalis of Gaza

    That “Assisi” must be some town,not one but TWO Saints!

    btw, who is the patron Saint of Mitchieville? I was once told Fenris might be, but I thought Saints had to be dead.

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