I Have A Dreamsicle

The Mayor posted the famous “I have a Dreamsicle” speech on Monday, August 26, 2006. That was some great website The Mayor had way back when, wasn’t it?

Five score years ago, a great American, Frank Epperson, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, invented the popsicle. This momentous decree came as a great beacon light of hope to millions of fat children who had been eating nutritious and wholesome meals for hundreds of years. It came as a joyous daybreak to end the long night of their captivity.

But one hundred years later, the popsicle is not free. One hundred years later, the life of the popsicle is still sadly crippled by the manacles of segregation and the chains of discrimination. One hundred years later, the popsicle lives on a lonely cooler of poverty in the midst of 7/11’s and Korean owned variety stores. One hundred years later, the popsicle is still languished in the corners of American society and finds itself an exile next to Dickie Dee and various other ice-cream products. And so we’ve come here today to dramatize a shameful condition.

We cannot suck alone.

And as we suck and lick, we must make the pledge that we shall always suck and lick ahead.

We cannot turn back.

I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up and live out the true meaning of its creed: “We hold popsicles to be delicious, that all popsicles are created equal, even banana flavour, even though they truly tastes like shit”

I have a dream that one day on the dirty floors of all 7/11’s and Korean owned variety stores, the sons of former slaves and the sons of former slave owners will be able to sit down together at the table and enjoy this amazing, cool treat.

I have a dream that one day even the state of Mississippi (and Georgia, and possibly New Jersey), a state sweltering with the heat of injustice, sweltering with the heat of oppression, will be transformed into an oasis of popsicle loving peoples.

I have a dream that my four little children will one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by the color of their popsicle but by the content of their popsicle stick.

I’ll eat two popsicles today!

3 Responses to “I Have A Dreamsicle”

  1. dmorris Says:

    Wow! 2006! That was the days when this here site was considered to be one of the funniest outside Poland,which is pretty good considering Poland is the world capitol of humour. Krakow, to be exact.

    I remember telling every person on the planet that Mitchieville was the best humor site anywhere and being told I was full of shit,which never bothered me as much as the vote that dreadful year!

    I remember Mitchieville losing to Raymi the Minx!!!,after that,it’s just been one long binge. I don’t take loss well,so anything I’ve said here after that date can’t be held agin’ me.

    And everyone still says I’m full of shit,so what the fuck.

  2. The Mayor Says:

    Losing to Raymi was one thing, but losing to the sewing blog really kicked the crap out of The Mayor.

    We lost to a sewing blog. Man, that still stings.

    And your friends were/are right. Obviously.

  3. Belated MLK Day fun-ness | Five Feet of Fury Says:

    [...] Also? The Mayor? He’s beating me. [...]

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