Fortune Cookies we would like to see

Let us face it, Fortune Cookies are predictable and alienated from modern reality. They need to embrace diversity and be brought into the progressive era, the enlightened age of Global Warming science. Where are the concerns of the modern age? Fortune Cookies need to be made relevant. Randomly pick a number from one to twelve (but do not pick two, unless I do not like you), click ’see more’ and you will have your fortune cookie. Open Pandora’s box:

1) You have a hairy bum.

2) You are going to die.

3) Pregnancy looms in your family.

4) You are going to prison for your crimes.

5) You are going to win the lottery.

6) Gasoline prices are going to rise.

7) Your illegitimate children will demand money.

8] You are going to get a hangover.

9) Bury the bodies deeper this time.

10) An inheritance leads to a dispute amongst family.

11) You will run down a pedestrian while commuting.

12) The next public bathroom you use will be filthy.

2 Responses to “Fortune Cookies we would like to see”

  1. The Mayor Says:

    “Your illegitimate children will demand money.”

    Wow – kinda left The Mayor speechless.

  2. When I Found I’d Picked Number 9, I Thought Of Laura… « SOYLENT GREEN Says:

    [...] Fenris Rules: [...]

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