Victory Coffee



Mourning Trayvon week continues at Mitchieville.

We continue to apply the logic of socialism, and today our message is vaguely unsettling. Kinda like the veiled message vigilantes use to signal a mass surprise attack upon the criminal element that is responsible for a disproportionate number of violent crimes. Not that there is some widespread conspiracy to round up the two percent of America that commits forty percent of the crime, put them in camps, and make them into soap, lamp shades, and collectible scrotum tobacco pouches. Heck no. Us non-White White folks would never do that. How could we get past the checkpoint at the bus station with our truck loads of advanced weapons? Golly.

It is Friday, Mitchieville. Time to take out the trash. Time for Spring Cleaning, even in Toledo * .

7 Responses to “Victory Coffee”

  1. dmorris Says:

    http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-africa-17636393

    I know this is off topic, but an accomplished African of the non-hyphenated type has expired at the tender age of 78.

    President Bingu wa Mutharika of Malawi has died.

    Had Trayvon Martin not been shot down by that possibly Jewish White or Mixed-race Hispanic guy, he could have attained the prominence of President Mutharika,who was living proof that Africans CAN make it to the top without Affirmative Action.

    I ask Mitchievillians to take a moment from their busy day,and reflect on this fact,while simultaneously mourning the passing of a President.

    Thank you.

  2. Licinius Renatus Says:

    dmorris: it would not hurt your campaign of ingratiation with the large number of extremist right wing fanatic war lords to, perhaps, compose a touching tribute to President Bingu wa Mutharika of Mali. Across Ontario, there was a holiday secretly held in his memory. You have touched a part of the collective will of the proles.

    Anyone else owing fines to the Supreme Central Library of Mitchieville has twenty four hours before our Crimson Sky themed Library fund raising effort.

  3. Pius XII Says:

    There isn’t much more to be said about President Bingu,other than there hasn’t been a movie made about him, so he must be a very good person.

    I have found NO Swiss or Bahamian or Grand Caymanian bank accounts in his name. Pres. B was never seen wearing a hoodie. He didn’t like Rap music/poetry. He could have been President Obama’s Father,if Obama’s Mother had ever strayed into Malawi.

    I don’t think President B even knew Forest Whitaker.

  4. Arty Says:

    Thanks for that DMorris. Any word on whether Mitchieville is sending any dignitaries to the funeral? I’m sure there will be a lot of grief shed, sorry I meant to say a horrendous outpouring of…well anyway, I’m sure it will be a solemn occasion. Also it will be a good time to reflect on the idea that if Bingu wa Mutharika had a son he would look a lot like Barack Obama. Except Bingu would never have named his son Barack.

  5. Pius XII Says:

    You’re welcome,arty,I’m a caring kind of guy.

    The Mayor is currently in Cuba watching over his hero,Hugo Chavez,who is under the knife for cancer in the best medical system in the world,so I can only HOPE someone has been dispatched to Malawi.

    Wonder what Andy’s doing? He’s used to hot weather and plenty of mosquitoes.

  6. Fenris Badwulf Says:

    I cannot find anybody who can get the medical coverage to go there. The employees health plan does not include foreign pestiferous travel.

  7. dmorris Says:

    “Malawi was ranked the 119th safest investment destination in the world in the March 2011 Euromoney Country Risk rankings.”

    And although AIDS is rampant, condoms are cheap,costing less than 3 kwacha per package of three. Homosexuality is illegal,and prison sentences can be harsh for being gay,or anything else considered untoward in Malawi.

    Turkish prisons are said to be like Club Med compared to a Malawian prison,so you’ll want to be well behaved while you’re there.

    “Malawian cannabis, known as Malawi Gold, as a drug has increased significantly. Malawi is known for growing “the best and finest” cannabis in the world for recreational drug use, according to a recent World Bank report, and cultivation and sales of the crop may contribute to corruption within the police force.”

    So, while you’re there paying your respects, you can indulge with a nice young Malawian woman after smoking some of the sweetest cannabis this side of heaven.

    Good luck,Ambassador Badwulf, don’t forget to write,and take lost of pictures for those of us who can’t afford the $13,000 air fare from Toronto.Please convey my personal condolences to the bereaved.

    The final leg of the flight, from Ouagoudou,Burkina Faso via BK Airlines is said to be the most exciting,one of the few regularly scheduled air services that uses a Ford Trimotor.

    “Malawi has 32 airports, 6 with paved runways and 26 with unpaved runways. The country has 495 miles (797 km) of railways, all narrow-gauge, and 9,601 miles (15,451 km) of roadways, 4,322 miles (6,956 km) paved and 5,279 miles (8,496 km) unpaved.”

    With luck, you’ll land on one of the paved ones.

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