Sorry Folks, Country’s Closed

Fenris, prepare the artillery!

10 Responses to “Sorry Folks, Country’s Closed”

  1. dmorris Says:

    Jesus,we gotta stop them heathen Wisconsonians from comin’ here! They’ll take up all the jobs, screw our womenfolk, and make us drink their Yankee waterey-piss beer!

    Do they even KNOW about hockey in that benighted goddamn State?

    We’re countin’ on you Ontarians to once again fight the good fight ,like you did against the Fenian raids not that long ago!

    Don’t let us down Mayor!

  2. Pseudonym Says:

    This is problematic. Don’t we have enough milk farmers in Canadda already?

  3. The Mayor Says:

    Not to mention the best 2 year old cheddar in the world!

  4. dmorris Says:

    Just a minute,here!

    Are you claiming Wisconsin cheddar is superior to our own beloved “Armstrong” cheddar?!

    Craft your reply carefully,as this could mean an East-West War!

  5. marc in calgary™ Says:

    I love Armstrong Cheddar™ it’s excellent.

    Are the Wisconsin-ites threatening to move north, farmers? I have some doubts there, I think they’re teachers and other unionized types. Maybe just a big hole dug in the ground, filled with water and gators, then covered with twigs and leaves may do the trick.

    I’m having some Armstrong (old) Cheddar™ now, right now!

  6. Stevo Says:

    In response to the flow of refugees over the Mississippi and St. Croix rivers, Gov. Dayton will provide each escaping Wisconsinite their very own commemorative 1993 Twins Homer Hanky to dry themselves off.

  7. The Mayor Says:

    No, no, no. Canadian cheddar is the best. There will be no further discussion on this.

  8. Wolfie Says:

    If there was going to be a flotilla it would have set sail from Detroit long ago. The fact that there hasn’t been a flotilla from detroit should make Canadians hang their heads in shame.

    I’d like to be able to defend our cheese but there is no comparison. I’m with the Mayor. We can talk whiskey sometime if there’s ever an opportunity to have some side by side.

  9. Fenris Badwulf Says:

    I have just returned from the Refugee Welcoming Center in Mitchieville, where these unfortunates are being housed before more spacious housing, educational opportunities, and lifetime health care is settled on them by our spendthrift federal government. My eyes are wet with tears. Such sad stories of human misery!

    One fellow, Clem the Parking Enforcement Agent, had to struggle on the ‘trail of tears’ to Canada driving his camper. It will need an oil change soon. Clem is worried about all he left behind: his in ground pool, his barbeque, his other camper. In the chaos of the mass exodus, he was separated from his wife when he left her behind at the shopping mall, where she was buying some hair spray for the trip. The suffering is palpable.

    Clem faces an uncertain life in Canada. Housing for life, health care for life, and the stress of deciding which college program to take first. Clem wants to be a Fresh Water Fishing Fish Resource Activist. Can the racist Canadian taxpayers find the cash to build a community center within walking distance of the three bedroom bungalow to facilitate Clem’s needs? Will Clem ever be reunited with his family? His wife, children, cousins, aunts, nephews, and generally anybody willing to grunt and scratch an X on the pertinent form? Can Clem find the acceptance in racist Canadian society, especially now that he has gone on vacation (to Alaska, for the fishing)?

    I am filled with grief.

  10. OMMAG Says:

    I have plans to take arial surveillance over the lake … how many bags of poo do you think I can carry in a Cesna 185 if my bombadier navigator wieghs 225lb and I weigh 190…?

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