Good job, Shirley. Through your public pronouncement, it has come to our attention that you have been lacing brownies with marijuana and bringing them into work. We have a zero tolerance policy here at Sprockley Sprocket’s when it comes to drug use. Seeing as though you have admittedly brought drugs onto company property, we have no other choice than to terminate your contract with extreme prejudice. We have also reported you to the local law enforcement officials and the FBI.