Personalizing Social Climate Justice

Social Climate Justice awareness begins with your first waking breath in the morning. This morning, I rolled over and looked at the sleeping face of my beloved. What a lucky man I am to have this treasure in my life! I give my beloved a gentle kiss on her forehead so as not to awake her, then I slither out of bed.

Social Climate Justice activism begins with fresh ground coffee beans.
These are the expensive beans, grown by serfs and peons, who live close to nature in grass huts, without electricity or running water. As I carefully grind up the beans to the perfect texture, I contemplate all those lucky other people who live without the modern amenities. I wish more people lived in grass huts without access to toilet paper. I am doing all I can to drive more people into such a close relationship with nature.

Social Climate Justice actualization begins with fresh spring water. Why use tap water when you can use spring water taken for free from the food bank? Apparatchiks and comrades of the ruling authorities have access to the good stuff; awareness is the knowledge that the food banks are a source of merchandise for in the loop merchants.

Social Climate Justice awareness is rewarded with the perfect cup of coffee. I pour the coffee into a cup (part of a matching set of mugs made by Chinese slaves under the auspices of the Chinese socialist state) received as a gift last Holiday from the local socialist party. I joined, sent them no money, respond to their emails, and attend meetings where free stuff is handed out; in exchange, I get more free stuff. Now I have Dragon Mugs of porcelain to hold the perfect cup of coffee to take into the bedroom where my beloved is still sleeping.


Social Climate Justice activism is rewarded with croissants, baked in a toaster oven with cheddar cheese.
I took the toaster oven from work when I used to work in the Socialist Social Services. They had ordered one for each staff member, when the office kitchenette only needed one in total. They sat in boxes for months. I took one home after the manager gave us his famous Jack Layton in the whorehouse speech.

Social Climate Justice actualization is rewarded with happiness. My beloved gobbles down her coffee and cheesy croissant, but is distracted by my presence. We soon fall into Global Warming awareness games: my beloved begins to jingle my dingle.

You too can wallow in Social Climate Justice. Justify your actions with leftist gobbledygook. Act in your financial best interests, because your best interests only further Social Climate Justice. Anyone who disagrees is a racist. But even better, who needs to know? Aaaargh.

I, Fenris Badwulf, wrote this. I care.

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