Indonesian Town Bans Women Straddling Motorbikes

Just as the title suggests, if you’re an Indonesian woman and you go straddling, prepare thine-self for a trip to the alligator pit:

A town in Indonesia is banning women from straddling motorcycles, saying it is improper and against Islam.

Women in the town of Lhokseumawe will be told from Monday they cannot straddle a motorcycle or scooter, especially when sitting behind a man, and instead must ride side-saddle.

The mayor of the town, which is under strict Islamic sharia law, says the regulation is to protect women’s morals.

“[It] is to maintain women’s dignity and good image,” said Suaidi Yahya.

The Mayor believes you can find the passage in the Koran that refers to women straddling motorcycles, in Sura 19:45, subsection 8, paragraph 2, verse 7, line 4:

Bitch, you be getting a bloody mouth if you go straddling on the hog. I forbid thee, by punishment of the alligator pit if you jump on a bike and straddle thusly. You’ze really pissing me off now, I shouldn’t even have to bring this crap up, but you’re pushing the envelope like I’ve never seen an envelope pushed before. You better wise up or I’ll have you all made into glue, you bunch of bike-straddling whorish malcontents. Peace and love, I’m outta here!

Pretty straightforward if you ask The Mayor.

Next up on the Sharia hit list: denying women the right to eat mayonnaise.

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