Sex Offender & A Very Bad Boy
Fido lashes out and humps because he had such a horrific family upbringing. His momma was a royal bitch, while his father was what is known in the canine world as a “hump & goer.” Sort of like Bill Clinton with a tail (not a piece of tail, but an actual, physical tail).
Fido grew up on his own, and isn’t looking for a hand out, he’s looking for a hand-up. Don’t judge Fido, that’s the last thing he needs. Send him money. Via the Fenris Badwulf School of Telemarketing Excellence.