I Went To A Mass Killing The Other Day & A Soccer Game Broke Out

Question: which of these is more violent than the others, 1) Charles Manson at a Catholic dance, 2) The look in Joe Biden’s eyes when he looks at a bottle of whiskey, or 3) the crowd at an Egyptian soccer game?

Trick question – they are all as violent as the next:

Angry relatives and residents rampaged through an Egyptian port city Saturday in rioting that killed at least 27 people after a judge sentenced nearly two dozen soccer fans to death for involvement in deadly violence after a game last year.

Thems alot of killin’s. But we aint finished yet:

The violence in Port Said erupted after a judge sentenced 21 people to death in connection with the Feb. 1 soccer melee that killed 74 fans of the Cairo-based Al-Ahly team. Executions in Egypt are usually carried out by hanging.

┬áThems alot of killin’s. But we aint finished yet:

The verdict for the remaining 52 defendants, including nine security officials, is scheduled to be delivered March 9. Some have been charged with murder and others with assisting the attackers.

Them a lot of killin’s. The Mayor is going to try to add this up, but he’ll need an abacus to sort this crap out.

Here goes…

27 dead in rioting today, 21 sentenced to death by the judge, and 74 killed in the original butcherings.

27 + 21 + 74 = 122 dead.

And as they say in the world of the late night infomercial, “but wait, there’s more…”

We can’t forget about the 53 remaining defendants. Let’s just assume with the progressive Egyptian judicial system as it stands, that the judge will hang ‘em high:

So, 27 + 21 + 74 + 53 = 175.

In case you’re wondering who won the game, the answer is humanity. Humanity won.

Yiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiyiy!!!!!11!!1!!!!

3 Responses to “I Went To A Mass Killing The Other Day & A Soccer Game Broke Out”

  1. nancy Says:

    It’s obvious that soccer games should be banned, or send those savage bastards a few F-16s. One or the other I say…

  2. The Mayor Says:

    To be safe we should do both.

  3. nancy Says:

    lol :)

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