Her Strange Addiction

No, that isn’t a picture of a rabid dog spitting noodles from its mouth, it’s Georgi Readman, citizen of The Isle of Wight. Other than a terrible haircut and poor eating skillz, she looks pretty much like any other 18 year old girl. The difference though is that Georgi has a really strange addiction:

Ramen-style noodles, a staple in the pantry of broke college students, has been the mainstay of one teenager’s diet for the past 13 years, according to an article in the New York Daily News.

Georgi Readman, 18, of the Isle of Wight, U.K., refuses to eat fruit and vegetables and exists solely on packaged noodle soup.

Readman, who is 5′3” and 98 pounds, told the Daily News that she became hooked on the noodles when she was five-years-old and her mother still buys her packages by the dozens. She estimates eating 30 miles of noodles per year and the thought of eating anything else makes her sick.

5′3″ and 98 pounds isn’t bad at all, at least she has her health:

Readman could not be reached for comment but according to her doctors, she is malnourished and has the health of an 80 year old.

A healthy 80 year old, or a lazy 80 year old that terrorizes the neighbourhood with their poor scooter driving skills?

The last time The Mayor had Ramon noodles was 1983. He remembers it well because it was the night Alvin and the Chipmunks debut on NBC. The Mayor remembers Theodore and Alvin were into some whacky hijinx that night; they took a donkey and registered it in a horse race. You see, the donkey was about to be sent to the glue factory, and Alvin became very upset and basically stole the poor thing and ended up putting it in the race. Well don’t you know it, the damn thing won the race, and the donkey was saved. Later on that night Alvin and Theodore snuck out of their room and had anal sex with the donkey.

Those keraaaazy chipmunks. It does bring up an interesting question though: how come animals like Alvin, Simon and Theodore can talk, but the poor donkey that was raped cannot talk? Who will speak for the poor victimized donkey? The Mayor will tell you who – no one.

That’s the way life is kids, one day you get saved from the glue factory and win The Preakness, and the same night you’re being buggered by talking vermin.

One Response to “Her Strange Addiction”

  1. J.M. Heinrichs Says:

    If it’s made from Canadian wheat, then it’s a health food.

    Cheers

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